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Yea, it’s a long time coming,
They'll say
But that’s not how I feel.
The gentle breeze against me
I have to catch myself
As I lean into it
For comfort
Pretending there’s someone there.

My cowardice has led me here
Away from the light
Once again
To exist without making
Myself vulnerable;
Not even with myself I could be,
Even if there were any places
To cast and stare at my reflection,
For it’s too dark to see.

The world is too big to push away
So digging a hole
Is a start,
But somewhere out there
I know you are
And maybe when I climb out
You’ll be waiting for me,

Or maybe not;
Maybe in this life,
I missed my shot.
30 lines, 266 days left.
LC Apr 8
before I step out into public,
I lock my opinions in a safe
that resides deep within
the ridges of my brain.
I wear a sweet smile
to mask the dull pain
radiating throughout my body.

but when I enter my safe space,
I strip myself of that smile,
and look my pain in the eye.
I dig into the ridges of my brain
to grab and unlock the safe.
I welcome my vulnerability
in all its undisguised nakedness.
#escapril day 7!
Hannah Jones Apr 7
Careful, love,
that you are not
too well-guarded,
sounding high alerts
until no one
dares approach
your gates.

Mind not to wind
yourself too tight
out of fear
to let loose
some brittle flaw
until you splinter
and shatter.

A closed fist
a lover never made--

Loosen your grip
on your expectations
of the audience,
and simply play
your part.

Come curtain,

we may
surprise
each other.
Just wondering if my friend/coworker finally got the stick out from wherever he stored it during our time together.

Those jagged edges hurt both ways, babes.
Stewie Apr 7
My heart is open like a book
Feelings flooding out into my bloodstream
Hurt caught in my throat, makes me choke
Strained eyes to hold back tears
Skin so hot with pins and needles
Will you ever understand?
Why do people encourage you to be vulnerable?
It took three drinks just to get me here.
You said it wasn’t enough, that it wasn’t clear.
Four calls to your voicemail.
I didn’t understand why, but I apologized.
Two trips down memory lane
And I don’t think it will ever be like that again.
One moment of clarity
But I can tell you’re forcing that smile.

I can’t bring myself to tell you what’s wrong with me.
Maybe I’m too afraid you’ll be angry.
No one’s been able to look under the surface.
It’s a mess like a circus, I thought it was my burden.
I couldn’t look at you and hope that you would understand.
That’s why I keep it close to the chest.

It took six drinks just to get us here.
You said it wasn’t my fault, but it is my dear.
Five hugs and a kiss for luck.
I want to tell you more but my words are stuck.
One date to make it up to you
And I’m so sorry.
Fireflies Feb 7
To be loved when its not convinient
To be loved for the hand gestures made when i talk about the netflix show i just got into
To be loved for the way i part my hair
To be loved for making a joke with the waiter
To be loved for taking the long route to get you a coffee
To be loved for being vulnerable
Oh to be loved for the smallest things and the big ones blindly.
Leah Carr Feb 3
the terror...

It claws at the inside of my chest
Desperate to escape
Just as desperate as I am to escape myself

It scratches and cuts at my wrists and ankles
So painfully I can barely keep back the tears
The tsunami of tears

It grips me tight
But the firm weight is not comforting
It is controlling me

It bears down on me
A dense, ominous shadow
Waiting to swallow me up

It chases after me
Wherever I run
Inescapable

It chains me up
Ties me down
I'm so helpless

And all because of

one.

woman's.

choice.
tate Jan 26
am i deserving of love, to love and to be loved? my mind started to question back as if i have had enough. it is the pathological effect from my illness that makes me feel like my mind was playing trick.

my days consisted of hesitation, building me a wall between what i used to feel so heavily and what i push away to the point where it’s hurting me. being vulnerable sometimes isn’t right way to start it off but on the other hand, refusing to be vulnerable can be more of a tired pattern of pushing people away and hiding your emotion too. seeing the breaths of silence dancing on the screen that parts us, makes me wounded to the pain of being vulnerable.

time to feel it blowing through, i’m trying hard not to sabotage my happiness anymore.
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