No olvides el olor de tu amante
y tengas una vida solitaria
con tu corazón en alquiler
nunca soñando con el gran salto
hacia atemorizantes brazos
y las recompensas que podrías conseguir.
I have swam in the depths of vulnerability,
Gulped the naiveté of exposure
I have held out these quivering hands of mine squeezing my heart so hard, it bled onto the floor in front of you
I now find myself silenced
Zipping my lips and throwing away the key
I once saw the turbulent waters deep inside of me
When I dive into myself now, I find drought instead
Empty smiles with words like "joy" dripping from my lips
Blue eyes that felt endless and raged with fire now fill with watery silver that have tricked you into feeling warm
I have a habit of seeming open
As if I am translucent and you can read what's written across my heart
I have always been too much and not enough
you said that you would always be here with me, by my side, so i’m never alone.
you’re no where to be seen.
have i done something to repulse you so that you felt the need to lie to me.
i have always been here for you although you only seem to treat me as a second option.
but i’m still here, because i believed and continue to believe that you make me happy.
more than the word happy gives justice... you make me ecstatic, proud, and content with myself and us.
you make me feel secure.
at least you made me...
but i’m still here... trying to find security in others and places and things and ideas.
while you’re out there not giving a shit about me and my well-being because you’re not worried about your own security.
and i’m sorry that i wasn’t good enough for you to care about
I used to think I was starving for love.
There was a gnawing pain in my chest.
My tears fell from above
While my nerves felt shocked and pressed.
My body under pressure
Turning me into a diamond one day.
I felt starved.
I felt bordered by such labels.
Now I think I’m insatiable.
Your love to fuel me.
When I drove to you the sky is always beautiful.
My new diamond edge cuts through my old walls.
Now with you I’m vulnerable
Because I’ve always recovered from my falls.
Taking off my socks
Is my favorite part
Of taking a shower
Or having sex with someone else
We always used to wear ours when we felt vulnerable
But the memories of you scattered throughout my room
Make me feel vulnerable all the time
I wear my heart on my sleeve
Or more accurately my ankle
I procrastinate spending time with you
Like I procrastinate all of the good things
That may eventually cause me pain
I'm afraid to be happy
To the point of appreciating the loss of the cause
When I'm with you
It's like the city of Ember
And someone turned on all the lights
It's not quite beautiful
But at least we can see
So I will keep on my socks
And remain afraid of the dark
Because I may never see you again.
Whoever said time heals all wounds is a fool.
Time is a thief.
He waits until you are your most vulnerable.
He waits until you are alone.
He waits until you are content with life
and that's when He strikes.
He'll corner you in the dark on your best-known street.
He'll beat you and He'll beat you.
You will wish you were dead
because you don't think you can take much more.
And still He'll beat you and He'll beat you.
And then, He will give you a break.
As soon as you catch your breath
He'll begin to beat you and He'll beat you.
Until finally, you've had enough.
And Time, well, He just laughs in your face.
And whispers, but oh so loudly, that you will never heal.
He whispers that He will see you soon
to beat you. And He'll beat you.