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I can't believe how willing you are to hurt me
Far more than any enemy in recent memory
It makes sense I guess, I've told you exactly where to attack me
Like where exactly the armor doesn't protect the body
The parts fragile and vulnerable from prior injury
Every single insecurity
Told you, embarrassingly, what I did and still do find scary
Introduced to you the shattered and fractured pieces of me that I keep tucked away for their own safety
Trusted you with parts of me that are barley held together from the last tragedy
Showed you then warned you of the socially unacceptable parts of my personality
Recalled to you the story of my journey from being bullied to becoming the bully
And how I didn't end up liking either of those me's particularly
I watched you with my son and observed how quickly he accepted you and saw you as family
Didn't hesitate to call you Mommy, it came to him then through him naturally
And I cherish that memory because I haven't been allotted many tears that fall happy
I could go on forever with the good, the bad and the ugly
But basically
I handed you a map of how to destroy me completely if need be
Then literally used the last trace of trust I had left on you not using it against me
And well,
It's with a heavy heart I present to you where that's gotten me

©2024
Heidi Franke Mar 5
I felt it
When I spoke
To the judge,
For my son,
Years of shell work
Encasing fear and sanity, cracked with each glance, falling away. Everyone listening.
I was left lost
Like a snail losing it's shell
Mushy and vulnerable
A Pulpy mess.

Was it enough
That I said
Or too much.
So much was left out
The Russian Roulette admission
The thoughts of jumping 15 floors from his hotel
So many letters making up words and paragraphs upon paragraphs
of 15 years.
Throwing out a gun
Into the city trash.

How could I be anything more than a mother
Who let the saving flatten her out of existence. Incoherence and pulp.
Will it be discarded
All that effort
To keep him alive
At my expense.
Is that what mothers do?
I'll never get to return. Life doesn't
Let you.
Speaking to judge on behalf of mentally ill son's crimes.
neth jones Mar 14
I feel so much              it’s just like good movies
hard hurt  romance and rescue               
         rage  and ostracization
it's them  it is witty they     the horn spittled gitty devils!           
they've pitted faults in my structure
                                                        to feel through
my dermis            tup-tapped and stabbed at                
    quaking ***** little jokes   at my impractical existence
i am made spongiform                     vulnerable pupation    
frogspawn                                    
      mangy food at mercy  ...

...and my pratty employment...

...but it's okay now
enamel              
i'm desensitized to it all                
         distant to the proceedings
the quirky murky readings
                   then again   sudden barks get through
jarring feedings                        
            and i am rushed with expense ...
... for a while

mused chemistry
my worth feels    peopled and oxygenated
my work cradles balanced appeal                  
creation is warm          with budgings of whim
simple commerce   with the ghosts of physical laws
                                     and a birling alchemy
yıldız Feb 9
[...] like a moth that would do anything to reach its light, here you try to break the distance between you and me. Like a moth blinded by the beauty of the light, unaware of the harm the light could do to it, here you fight for our love.
you Love i
Mrs Timetable Jan 10
I wish you could see
The depth in me
The strength in me
For you...
I think you see the
Weakness in me
Because the weakness
In me
Is for you...

I want you
To know
Both
tryhard Dec 2023
one of my biggest fears,
the thing that i dare not touch—
hope

and yet, somehow
my fists are bloodied,
my grip bruising

i did deign to hope
held it between my hands:
the fragility of wanting

do not let them see me
here, vulnerable, soft
on my knees

praying or begging,
i may not know
all i know is this:

i have found hope
and it is cruel to me
but i am not letting go
in prose: i am afraid of hoping for things because what if they don't turn out the way i hoped for? but i want to hope, nonetheless. happy new year!
Haylin Dec 2023
I'm sorry to hear about the difficult experiences you've had to endure. It's understandable that the fear and pain you felt at a young age would have a lasting impact on you. It takes a lot of strength to trust yourself and listen to your inner voice when those around you have caused you harm. And it's not easy to carry the weight of grief and brokenness within you.

But I'm glad to hear that you found solace in words and were able to use them as a tool for healing. It's amazing how writing can help us connect with ourselves and the world around us. It's inspiring to see that you were able to break down some of those protective walls and allow yourself to live in the present moment.

I want you to know that you're not alone and that it's okay to feel vulnerable and fragile sometimes. You are brave and resilient for continuing to listen to your heart and your inner voice, even when it's hard. And I hope that you continue to find ways to express yourself and connect with the world in meaningful ways.
l i z a Dec 2023
At times I wish I didn't care
and didn't feel anything too deep
but if i refused to care at all
I wouldn't be here, I wouldn’t be me.

Many things I see, I find pre-defined
A darkness is left, the kids aren’t alright
Yet within the chaos, the shot of hope gleams
A chance for redemption, before the final dream.

My love unveils both joy and sorrow
A kaleidoscope of emotions for today and tomorrow
Even in depths of despair, resilience rises
Shadows and trials end with silver-lined surprises.

To feel deeply is my way to truly live
A tapestry weaves the stories I have to give
For even in shadows, my light does grow
My heart guides me to what the truth knows.

So I seek to embrace the highs and lows
Through my rivers of tears, a garden grows
In vulnerability, I find a reality
Worthy of bonding with all humanity.
Meg B Jun 2023
Loving you is the smell of the rain
Fresh. Life sustaining.
Sweet droplets dripping on petals
Blooming in spring.

Loving you is breath catching in my chest
Overwhelmed and afraid
Because it’s so good I fret
The concept of ever having to spend
A day of this life without you in it.

Loving you is the depth of
The sea
So vast that even its
Contemplation is greater than is
Humanly conceivable,
The feeling of warm salt water on
Tanned skin,
Sounds of
Crashing waves,
loving you is a perfect summer day.

Loving you is a rocket to outer space
Lost in the cosmos
I’m living amongst the constellations
Draped against
The Milky Way;
Loving you,
Being loved by you,
Looms larger than this world.

Loving you is the most
Beautiful terrifying expansive
Life-altering mind-blowing unimaginable
Gift
That I never would’ve dreamed of finding
Let alone deserving.

Loving you is absolute magic;
Because you are absolutely magical.
xavier thomas Feb 2023
I’m not afraid to lose you in the process of us becoming better people.
I’m not afraid to tell you the truth even if it hurts a little.
I’m not afraid to compromise time in exchange for peace.
I’m not afraid being vulnerable, though, I’m automatically viewed as weak.

All past doors were sealed.
So nothing will interfere.
Work to take proper care to be in the presence of a new journey.
So natural growth can bloom there.
Right before we got together.

Yet, I catch myself overthinking during crucial conversations because I don’t want to mess up.
Learning to give room for human error.
Despite it all; I am still in love with you…

You, my love, You
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