e 3h
ill

it's friday night
spent in the room
again,
covers pulled
high
over body & face
and curtains
drawn.

same old, same old;
only this time I'm
dying.

oh come on, man
get a grip!
why bitch about
the week's
burst seam,
ripped tights
and this?

unlike in the East,
they aren't
contemplating
the dropping of bombs
quite yet —
it's only flu.

so,
delight in the
granted privilege
of this moment
while it still
lasts.

9-22-17, 18:20

i detest the notion that you must love yourself before you can have someone else love you, as ideal as that may be it’s easier said than done. there is nothing wrong falling in love with someone while learning to love yourself in the process. he taught me how to love myself, he showed me that i was beautiful and i was worthy of a love like his, i deserve to be happy. he taught me that i have a kind forgiving heart and i’m not quite as damaged as i believed, although i’m convinced he’s cured me. his love showed me that everything i deemed imperfect about my form was stunning and with every kiss he pressed to my body i believed him more and more. months have dripped by and falling for him was easy, it was like going home and along the way i found myself and she is beautiful and worthy. i have found god again and i have blossomed. i am whole and always have been.

Majid Sep 9

Her pillow covering all of my face
Suffocation


Tears suffocating me
Won’t let me breathe
Her pillow covering all of my face
The more she tries to pull me out the more I sink into a worse place
How everything started to get so morose in some robust planet in space
Where I always took my time to enjoy my one and only grace
Her pillow covering all of my face
Inhaling her tears from last night’s race
Enjoy the silence of our heartbeats

Pace
Will it get better by any chance?
Or any change?
Will we be able to embrace?
Her pillow covering all of my face


Watch her shut down my full-of-blood face in one glance
The sacred geometry of chance
Watch her draw in silver then lick her sorrow as it turns red
When my veins eventually got the chance to meet their soul mates
When I got the chance to finally appreciate
Appreciate; the ray that is running towards me screaming love when we both know it’s full of hate

Her pillow covering all of my face

Never thought she’d be hiding from me the key to my fancy world’s gate
Inhaling her tears
And I’ve always enjoyed shutting her mouth
Anticipating her suffocating innocent screams
Then with one glance she was able to read my mind
She knew it
Knew well
That If I died today
Lots of aliens would be at my funeral
And she’d tell them about the joyful memories she shared with me

You know what sucks?
Read it all over again
Read it all over again with some serenity
Read it with some dignity


Sweaty rusty bed sheets covering her chopped body
Fifty stitches all over her skin
But her wide bright eyes will fix the whole picture and make it full of mildness and flaccidity

Tranquility

Then her screams again teasing my ears starting up the electricity
Running through my veins getting me thirsty craving for more intensity
And if I could
I’d replace my ink with her blood
Because I needed my papers to bloom
Turn it into a meadow on the shape of her eyes
All of a sudden
Woke up with nothing to look at other than the bathroom tiles

Nausea, revulsion, disgust and repugnance

Nothing to shorten the distance
Until my eyes started screaming for more of my addictive substance
One shot
Got me into watching a huge fight between romance and brilliance
Smudge my face with her blood and tears
While all what were flashing before my eyes are the past four years
Cutting my head open anticipating the brainwash
Until something got me to calm down and bear
A cup of our old cold drink
Pouring it inside her lungs to drink it happily
Then after I was done she smiled then spoke through my mind
That gave me a new brain and a new key that I should’ve tried
Went fine until I found the huge gate with no lock in it
The bus stop that I wouldn’t want to leave
My tears won’t
How will I make it when I can get it all in one night
Even if I could hold it in for one month?
I’d blast myself to keep my veins full of that drug
To keep my life full of that love
To save me from her devil
A maniac if you looked at it from a different aspect

A sick puppy stabbed in the face with a flower

A sign of loneliness strikes again
But I forgot my shoes at the mountain while rethinking my future
Dreams versus nightmares
And the winner was her
Orange and grey, all I can remember
A beautiful abounded house
I’d lick her fear within a second
Eat her up then vomit all of my internal organs
Building a wonderful cycle of admired calmness
White dress
Warm cheeks
Feeding the sad freak
Hiding in the very first place that people will find love at
Angel
Everlasting one
Holder
Power
The arbitrator behind all my happiness
Dances for a while and then disappears again
Light and awareness
She’s the aliveness and energy controlling every apparent motion inside me and all motion in my mind’s motion and all mind is her mind
And all my thoughts and actions are licensed by her
Empowered out of me and returned to her
She’s the correct consciousness of my mind
Everything I see
Hear
Do or know is enabled out of me
It is my mind and my being in use
To end up falling from the furthest planet into the lowest ground
To end up where I can never be found
With her pillow covering all of my face

Curing my crippled soul
Torsten Tim Sep 4

A disgusting group of goopy mess
A cluster of bandits in town to stay
A rain storm to cloud the sky,
The weathers never been nice, and the forcast looks bad.
Because the mind monsters are back
And they're here to stay.

They said I was mentally ill.
So they fed me a pill.
Maybe then I could feel.
This lack of apathy,
Is apparently not naturally.
So I sit and wait to feel more than a heart beat.
1
2
15
43
Days
Months
Years
Go by waiting for my feelings to exist.
Until then the drugs still persist.
I love.
But not a true love.
I do not feel it in my soul.
I just know it in my skull.
Just as 2 + 2 = 4
My love is in my mind.
I love you for as much as I can think.
So please don't leave me.
Alone with my mind on the thoughts of your existence.
You vanished
You have extinct out of my life.
I could not love you the way you needed me to be.
But I told you this before that my love was different.
You couldn't handle that.
And for that you leave me thinking I will be forever ill.

I had never known beauty until I saw him, lying there topless tangled in my sheets. his lips were slightly parted and his eyes closed in sleep. the morning light began to creep it's way into the quiet room and lightly touched his bare chest. his hair was was undone and unruly and he was beautiful. I think of this when I lie alone in my cold room thinking of where you lay now. I think of the soft hum that resonated in your chest as you slept and how it comforted me once. I think of the way I'd wake you up with a small peck on the lips and how you'd kiss me back, not even opening an eye. I think of the way your eyes were then, foggy in sleep yet the way they smiled down at me made me feel as though that me, in all of my bare vulnerability was something beautiful too.

Terry Collett Jul 30

Where the place? The nurse
watches as you fold and unfold
the towel after your bath, she
ignores what you say, her eyes
watch every move you make.

Where the place? you say, patting
the towel with the palms of
your hands, picking off a speck
of white. Maggie, that's enough,
the nurse says, losing patience,
sighing beneath her breath.

She walks beside you down
the dark passageway, never in
front(she's been told never to turn
her back on you.) Your hair is
cropped, your eyes stare ahead,
you mutter: where the place?

Upon the heath, you answer
yourself, there to meet...Hush
Maggie, the nurse says, eyeing
you warily, having read the report
on you, how you stabbed your
boyfriend's friend with a pair of
scissors, jab, jab, jab. There to meet,
whom will I meet? You say, looking
the nurse's way, taking in her pink
plumpness, the softness of her flesh,
her wariness of stare. You both enter
the main room. It is large and other
criminally insane patients sit about
or stand. Sit down now, Maggie,
the nurse says. You sit in a chair by
the wall. She walks off, her plump
behind sways as she walks away.

Jamie stands by the window; he
stares out. He still has the slit throat
you gave him as he slept in bed
beside you. He is silent. Moody fart,
you muse, wishing he'd go away, and
take his slit throat with him. Where
the place? You ask. He turns and looks
at you, but says nothing. You look
ahead at the passing crowd, the tall
nurse walks another patient by his
thin arm. WHERE THE PLACE?
You shout. Bells rings, nurses look
and rush towards you in sharp alarm.

MAGGIE IN ASYSLUM FOR THE CRIMINALLY INSANE.
Elin Roberts Jul 26

and it is through this that i've learned
everything is temporary
and things don't last forever
but my heartache will

and it does

a poem about faye
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