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Jeremy Betts Oct 29
It doesn't matter how much unconditional love I give
I'll never get it back
I'll never know that feeling
But it still doesn't stop me from giving it

©2024
I know this isn't technically a poem...
Jeremy Betts Feb 2018
I find it hard to put myself out there, I don't go out on a limb
To concerned about what people think and say, like "man, look at him"
"Who the **** does he think he is, he ain't no Eminem"
These words never hit my ear but I swear I'm hearing them
"Look at this, another poor white boy from the trailer park"
"Trying to hit his mark and make it big by belting out what's in his heart"
They got no clue money and fame wasn't my reason to start
It began as a way to shed some light on what seemed like eternal dark
One spark was all it took and I couldn't stop this pen from spilling ink
On the brink of insanity aboard a ship destin to sink
Life ******* me like a *****, two in the pink one in the stink
Swallowed a bottle of pills, why did they give me this charcoal to drink
Hmmm, let me think...****
That's the problem, I just reacted, I didn't stop to think
Didn't stop to think about everything I was about to flush down the stink
But the rope that was supposed to save me is now the one around my throat
The beautiful words I wrote now read as if a suicide note
But getting these thoughts out worked better then letting them get my goat
The loose lief kinda saved my life, it kept me afloat
I filled up hundreds of papers, I wrote down thousands of lines
The more I wrote the less I hurt, confidence up and pain declines
The rain subsides eventually in everyone's minds
But make no mistake the beast still resides behind these eyes
It's just these words are like a prize, they put the beast to sleep like lullaby's

©2018
Jeremy Betts Jan 17
A man with a hundred faces but nameless with one voice
A thousand thoughts a second but one life to live it, where's the choice
Never found much of a reason to rejoice
Worthless or not worth it, the math's not adding up on this invoice

A million phrases, can't remember faces
Thoughts escape the mind, breaking free of their cages
The visual is heinous, it feels dangerous
I can't explain what's going on but they tell me this is only the beginning stages

Time turns pages but they're all reflective, hold them to the flame, more failure through the ages
Dr Jekyll lost, tossed into the void, annoyed as Mr. Hyde rages
Whatever it is, for everyone else's sake, I hope it's not contagious
Stay cautious

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 30
I've been lost in my head, I might outlast forever
I know it's cliche and can play the part of a trigger
But I don't feel safe, can't recall if I have ever
Awake or asleep, it's the same nightmare
Collectively we already know nothing in there fights fare
And the fabric between the realities are threadbare and beginning to tare
I can physically feel the line blur between what's fake and what I'll be held accountable for later
Poetry, to me, is just me attempting to map out every square inch under my thing hair
Behind eyes that can barely show they care
In my fake grin, and between my left and right ear
Taking caution not to ruffle a feather on the ****** of devil's on each shoulder
I'm sure to discover rooms I haven't been in since I don't know when, oh dear,
What's the year?
Whatever
Hey, what's in here?
To dark to tell but oh do I know this smell all too well
Unfairly familiar
That putrid air
Nothing can compare
I'd recognize it anywhere
What we have here is fear
Maybe it'd be irresponsible of me to share
Probably not a good idea to push much further
Clear and present danger
Nothing's properly put together
Can't make sense of the clutter
Extra pieces from every fixture
Litter the ground next to the broken glass from every family picture
Shattered dreams scattered everywhere
I know what it looks like but there's not an interesting story here
I can assure it was no thrilling adventure
But I can not ensure a safe future
No one should witness the part of me, the litny of every nasty memory, everything I was forced to locked away in there
It's my headspace and I'm even too afraid to enter
I thought the scar meant it healed but then how's this door ajar?
What's going on here?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Nov 2023
This angers taking over
I'm a fighter but a loser
Back to a devil on each shoulder
I'll have no one if I lose her
Standing at a crossroad
Trying to remember what I've been told
Not the first time, might be the last
Caught up in the days of futures past
'Till it's over

©2023
Jeremy Betts Jan 21
This psychosis is flaring up again, most notably with the upper hand
Time after time and once again I find no rhyme or reason
That thought process, seemingly by design, is unfathomably barren
Scared of the transformation I know has already left the station
That's it there, right over yonder, comin' 'round the bend
Resistance is futile, it's a lesson in repetition to keep runnin' with no traction
No huntin' license needed for this "only fools rush in" expedition
The lethal weapon method preferred over the non-lethal stun gun option
As I set up and execute my own personal character assassination
And blame it on what's always been a continuous open season on who I am as a person
Stating it was the residents in my cranium livin' rent free from conception
Leaving out the moment I stepped in and fast forwarded this ****** Doo-Benny Hill situation to the end
You can still see the evidence of the all out mutiny and treason from within
Venomous hospitality, venomous quips, blue lips the reaction to the poison
The exact one found on the jagged edge of the rusty iron driven into broken skin
Just an oh to familiar back stabbing incident, another rerun
A web can be spun but I'm the only common thread...

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 6
Hi there,
I'm Jeremy's insecurity
Perhaps you've heard of me
If you're ever lookin'
For ammunition
To use against him,
Just talk to me
I'll divulge everything willingly
I won't even charge a fee
I'd be happy to supply it all for free
You can even call toll-free
Just dial 1-800-555-6663
And ask for me specifically

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 28
When young
You think you'll never grow old
When old
You forget what it means to be young
And I?
I wonder aimlessly somewhere in the middle
Jeremy Betts Apr 20
I can't believe how willing you are to hurt me
Far more than any enemy in recent memory
It makes sense I guess, I've told you exactly where to attack me
Like where exactly the armor doesn't protect the body
The parts fragile and vulnerable from prior injury
Every single insecurity
Told you, embarrassingly, what I did and still do find scary
Introduced to you the shattered and fractured pieces of me that I keep tucked away for their own safety
Trusted you with parts of me that are barley held together from the last tragedy
Showed you then warned you of the socially unacceptable parts of my personality
Recalled to you the story of my journey from being bullied to becoming the bully
And how I didn't end up liking either of those me's particularly
I watched you with my son and observed how quickly he accepted you and saw you as family
Didn't hesitate to call you Mommy, it came to him then through him naturally
And I cherish that memory because I haven't been allotted many tears that fall happy
I could go on forever with the good, the bad and the ugly
But basically
I handed you a map of how to destroy me completely if need be
Then literally used the last trace of trust I had left on you not using it against me
And well,
It's with a heavy heart I present to you where that's gotten me

©2024
Jeremy Betts Dec 2023
Oh me, oh my, even when I try I lose it all, I've never understood why
Mind and heart ravaged but can't reciprocate, what happened to an eye for an eye?
You plead for a win, I beg for a tomorrow, abused by karma without ever meeting the guy
Every day I pray for one more opportunity to watch the sun traverse the sky
If this is not allowed then please, before any enforcement, explain to me why...

©2023
Jeremy Betts Jan 19
{revised edition}

Can two people be too broken to know what they have goes further than what's spoken?
Can two people be too broken to hold it together despite every knee **** reaction?
Can two people be too broken to pick the right fights amidst the amateur crimes of passion?
Can two people be too broken?
Yes
And I think that we might
I know the answer whilst holding no solution
©2024
Can two people be too broken to know what they have?
Can two people be too broken to hold it together?
Can two people be too broken to pick the right fights?
Can two people be too broken?

...I think that we might...

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 2021
The only role I ever land is "outcast tortured by the cruelty and pain of his past" I sure didn't choose this path, feels more as though I've been typecast, or maybe I am a *******, holding out for every last ounce of pain before I blast this trader living in my head for the last 30 years off my shoulders, through a window pane, then, just as fast, turn to the vast hole in my chest that once held my heart and press the cold steel to it with the mass of my dread firmly in my grasp, gun fire drowned out by echoing laughs, fulfilling a prophecy of my future while neglecting lessons from my past, the game of life feels less like a game of chance and more like a test that's harder to advance than all the rest and wouldn't you know it, I fell asleep in class and didn't pass, apparently I even tuned out the emergency broadcast. Went and amassed a losing record that'd be impressive if not for the direct contrast the win column presents and the enormous shadow my downfall casts. Harassed by the devil on each shoulder, I thought that maybe once I got older, if I could just stay on task and remain steadfast, I would be able to open a can of whoop a$$ and trespass the evil within this house of glass but alas I must telegraph my every move or they've seen a future telecast because they lambast each strike and I'm not sure I'll outlast these issues, I'm gassed, plus, problems have started showing up in mass from a much higher weight class, they must have bypassed the weigh in process but I've always known who the deck was stacked against, hence why I never win, I only survive and my methods would flabbergast most, the truth finds it's way to the surface and I find myself aghast, crying like I've been teargassed with no gas mask but I've surpassed the point where waterworks will bring forth empathy, gotta own my involvement in the crash, volunteer to take out my own trash and this time I'll throw my pain out with the bath water and be free at last...free at last, free at last, no thanks to god almighty I'll be free at last

©2021
Jeremy Betts Oct 2022
With the flippant fear of a proudly clueless onlooker, another forgettable observer
I stare out over the breaking waves to see if I can't see a few things clearer
In a sense in search of innocents and the essence of this monstrous heckler I've been entrusted to not only tame but conquer
Maybe find bits and pieces of meaning here or there for this opaque character and it's seemingly insignificant blip on life's radar
They say all of our lives are important and as a whole they are, for sure, but A life, singular, doesn't even measure
On a timeline reaching back past the beginning of forever to the outer limits of what we know so far it can't possibly matter
Somewhere in there is an answer but I swear, don't let it be just another jump scare
I can bare no more, take me outta here becomes the newly revised prayer screamed into the ether
I'm not the star here, nor did I properly prepare for the cameo roll in my own B movie disaster picture.
I've done what was asked of me even when not fare, even as the nightmare went unchecked, haunting my every endeavor.
If this is expected to go on for the foreseeable future how much of my downfall am I going to be held accountable for?
Every battle the same as the one before, it can be torcher but y'all clap with the desire for an encore
Like your entertainment and the roar of the crowd is what I'm just barley holding on for
Then the face of an absent father figure puts a untimely hand on my shoulder, a whisper of congrats for making it though yet another war
That's every **** day sir, so excuse me for not going out of my way to carpe any of those diems mother fuucker
At the same time
I was so sure that I was finally able to procure the mindset to endure my own lour
But nobody seemed to eager to tell me that reality is a relentless attention *****
Making sure to hide the shore and provide only a broken ore to navigate a sea of insecure insecurities hell bent on devouring my core
Can't help but to take a little more than a fare share when there's so much dispair and dispair is their preferred flavor
And that's what I'm in store for, give or take some gore just to mitigate the bore
Remove all signs of the cancer and watch the stock soar, can't prosper dragging a dead weight anchor
Cut ties and wave goodbye to the failure, take out the pinch hitter cause that personality wasn't any better
A life changer for the better, now willing and wanting to keep score as a reminder of how bad it was before
Never again let the dark passenger take the wheel and steer, unless it's to steer clear
Forget looking backward, remove the rearview mirror and note the side mirror as truth, the atrocities are far closer than they appear
Tossin' small bits of anarchy out the driver side window, flipping the bird and quoting the Raven, "nevermore."
But I forgot why for

©2022
Jeremy Betts Feb 4
Let's talk honestly shall we?

It's easier to have a face to face with the devil
To communicate with the dead and summon evil
Draw a circle, scratch a pentagram in the middle
With a flame dancing on the peak of a candle
Flickering at the outmost tips of the symbol
Sandle wood incent lit, hit a gong or crash symbol
Then a little rhythmic hum to conclude the opening ritual

Pretty simple

The theatrical aspect varies culture to culture
But the critical structure, the essence, the flavor
The nature of "just call and I'll be there" is there
Let's be honest here, you don't get that with prayer
You'd have better luck with a comatose soothsayer
A blind palm reader, or and end of days sandwich board holder
The one on the corner screaming about unspeakable horror

Just think about it

What do you got to do to talk to your lord and savior?
Is his policy open door?
Does he have your back while going through your personal war?
You're trying to survive the unjust life he made and you're in store for
He just stands back and tallies the score
"IF YOU WEREN'T GOING TO HELP THEN WHAT WERE THE EXTRA SET OF FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND FOR?!?"
This is straight from his written lore, though purposely vague on what's real and what's a metaphor

What are the odds you're right?

He designed you to never be able to directly interact,
Explain that
It's a wildly overlooked fact
Infact,
It's what knocks his believability off track
You look at him and you go blind as a bat,
Why would he do that?
His voice will cause your ears to bleed if your head doesn't explode on first contact
He didn't have to design it like that!
The only answered prayers are those of musicians, athletes and the beautiful people who can act
The rest of us? Good luck Jack
If he hears your prayers then most of the times he's just like, "naw, fuuck that."
What's up with that?

Pretty convenient

©2024
Shying away from universally decided "just don't bring it up" topics, politics and religion of course the two biggest examples, will hurt societies (globe, country, state, county, city, town or cul-de-sac) more than it wil divide them. There's extremist on every side coming from every angle but they must not be allowed to roost at the top lest we forget how long and dire the fall would be.
Thanks for reading, I appreciate you.
Jeremy Betts Mar 23
What I wouldn't give to be normal
Well,
Let's be real,
I know nothing about normal
Is there an actual definition that could be written in a way to make it simple?
I've tried to define it but I don't think it's possible
Forcing this to be rhetorical
But here we go,
What is normal?
All I've been able to conclude is it's normal to question what's normal
Other than that though,
It may be undefinable

©2024
Jeremy Betts Oct 4
The tiny tears dry
But every
Miniscule memory
No bigger than a single,
Thoughtful penny
Resides in the residual
The old me?
A buried time capsule
It gets so heavy
As the new visual
Builds up quickly
Until you
Don't recognize who you
See looking back at you
In the rearview
You're not too
Be looking at anyway
All you see
Is all you've gone through
And it's not visual trickery
You know it to be true
You feel the change inside too
Within the replaced imagery
You can no longer find you

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 28
I stay silent
Too often my own words betray me entirely
I keep quiet
To eliminate any possibly of my past tracking me
Must calm the riot
Internal conflict in turn turns reality iffy
Must stay strategic
My mind gets creative trying to beat me down completely
Can't be complacent
Not while losing my footing on this plain of reality
There's no enjoyment
Living with a cranium teetering on the brink of insanity
Fear becomes a constant
So it never occurred to me these walls shouldn't be up permanently
I remain hesitant
When there's no certainty I can take down these walls safely

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 28
Docile and tame,
A king slain by his own sword
Self inflicted pain
My shelf life would be considered inhumane
A body originally set to be a temple
Is now unlivable domain

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jan 26
Everything I can't show is what's going to put me right back in the hospital
This blatant cycle of denial is far beyond getting out of control
The pileup looks physically and mentally insurmountable
How can one person run into so much trouble?
It's unmeasurable
Eyes forced shut, but it's not always safer in there, alone and vulnerable
Behind a pane of pain, only view is through this soulless porthole window
Find it hard to dream when life itself seems just about impossible
I've lost control of this roadside attraction freak show carnival
It's too much to juggle,
And that's why I struggle

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 15
Hope is out on another untimely vacation
Causing a slight hesitation upon recognition
'Cause this isn't the first occasion
Even when only halfway paying attention
I know what's comin',
Probably should have run
For all the good that ever done
Keep an eye on the horizon, just south of the setting sun
You'll hear the invasion of a negative persuasion
Long before they let you see 'em
And you'll notice, there's no record of a single recorded win
From all the way back since I don't know when
And all I can confirm is that there's never been

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 1
Since a year and nine months before my first birthday I've been unwanted
The only way for me to not feel unwanted
Is to not be around for unwanted to be an option
Watch that be the day I am finally wanted
And they'll have the nerve to say, "this is not what we wanted."

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 5
You'd think I requested these
Soul crushing insecurities
That break me down with ease
Like I selected to have bad news to come in threes
In a world that doesn't care about the word please
Closed a blind eye to the forest and the trees
Can't smell my own $hit on my knees
With an A to B through none traversable seas
The promised paradise is vacant properties
What I have are useless keys
And facts with discrepancies
That leaves a heart at absolute zero,
A deep freeze

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 20
...that's an ice cold strategy
Some shifty savagery
To tell me I have the luxury
Of not having to deal with family
But you know me
So you know that's the only thing I've ever wanted,
And you use it against me
Part of what make you so special to me,
Is you are essential to me
I say that knowing it's probably
Not a healthy way to be
You're all I have essentially
You could never possibly lose everything
But me?
I'm about to be

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 2018
I abuse words verbally like my voice is Bobby and the dictionary Whitney/
Like a literary hyperbole properly arranged to explain this deranged brutality perfectly/
Force the English language to work for me like a particularly dark time in history/
Optimistically take the tongue twister trickery and aggressively attack a vocabulary vocally and personally/
Not physically but a barrage on your psyche, almost psychedelically/
Use words medically, like a surgeon I expertly plant thoughts whispered softly but assertively/
Moving letters like chess pawns to express thoughts masterfully and creatively/
Gruesomely grotesque but gorgeous thoughts written down beautifully/
You can't help but hear the perplexity of mythoticly placed words with comradery/
An oddity with the audacity to raise the bar and up the capacity/
Because what comes out of me has to be exactly what you see because it is me/                
Not just a part of me but all of me/
I'm not a fallen tree sitting in the forest silently, quietly all by my lonely/
It's just the opposite actually and factually/
I will attack with a dialect so violent you violently retract causing you to react cowardly automatically/
I don't even have to lift a pinky, leave it stinky/
Let my words linger there in the air like **** smoke, thick and sticky/  
Periodically come back to peek and see if you've figured out the mystery and found the key/
One that'll decipher decisively what it is that I've let out of me and spread to all humanity/
I could never have planned it, see, it had to happen naturally, organically if you will/
And not to build it up falsely but I honestly, back then, didn't have the ***** to let it out of me and it cost me considerably/
So now this mastery I hold of word delivery bestowed to me gets jotted down feverishly/
With an intensity equal to none inside of this ******* century, can't censor me/
Got a consistency that forces me to constantly cross the border of insanity repeatedly/
Time only to watch my talents as they literally wither away for all of eternity/
Such a tragedy to see such agony but please, no apology brought on by sympathy/
Just let me be as I drift farther out to sea to a place you'll never see/
To let these words mold me into someone you could never be/

©2018
Jeremy Betts Jun 2023
Forget it...and forget you for even trying to think you could out run it. You can't handle this shiit nor can you hide from it, should probably quit or at least tone it down a bit, it's starting to get a bit pathetic.
It's already got you, it owns you, I told you. If you are hearing this then it's too late, there's nothing you can do. Sorry not sorry, can't say I didn't warn you. It don't matter if you believe it or not to be true.
It doesn't need you to accept it or to co-sign, it'll provide proof of what it can do in it's own time, in a lone rhyme that sends chills through your bones, directly down your yellow spine
Fuuck, they like to say they're just words but are they? These are like sticks and stones that break bones in a unique way, blacking out your heart and steal your soul away and it starts today...

...with me sitting here writing fear like a smear campaign, an assault on your ear that's so sincere, so severe that it'll appear to adhere to all you hold dear like an unwanted souvenir, make it real as the blood that'll smear from the front to the rear of my Chevy Cavalier from the people who use to be here but were met with the same fate as a lost deer wondering in the freeway just north of here. I know you can hear but have I done enough to make myself perfectly clear?

To make it known that I'm not one you want to mess with unless you've got a death wish, if you want to rot on your own cot in your own personal grave plot I've got the perfect spot to lay you down, plant you in you're own ceramic flower ***, but then I thought I oughta bought a big enough plot of land to lay down all who fall from this onslaught, a verbal Juggernaut but you can still come at me and take a shot if you want

And if you do, if that's the case then by all means, name the time and place cause I prefer face to face, I have this twisted trait that allows me to demonstrate how to create a ****** case, how to keep pace and champion a death race, how to get CSI looking at a piece of cheese on the end of a string i placed under a milk crate after a wild goose chase, not a trace of evidence just a message on the back of a bookcase to further the foot race, so check your shoe lace, you don't want to trip up and fall on your face while running from a phrase like trying to escape your goth days, a ridiculous phase

I lay it out plain and simple, just one well placed word or thought out syllable that will cause a tsunami title wave ripple that'll ******* any defence like Clearasil on a pimple, not a complicated riddle unless you're the monkey in the middle. It'll sit a little easier if we can keep it civil after the acquittal, critical thinking will get you through the hassle, to the end of the castle to save the princess but that's not the end of the battle, the system we're in is not a Nintendo, no Atari with a wired joystick paddle, these words are the detergent just added, nowhere near the rinse cycle, one wrong move could be fatal, if you think this a fable you could be one of the ones to wined up on an autopsy table

But it's damage to your psyche not your body that brought you to one knee, words they said couldn't harm obviously do have that ability, I grip that knowledge firmly, hold on tightly like it's a master key, the bounty is set and out, don't try to flee, got your mind hazy, to foggy to see, no friendly face here, no card to get out of jail free, these words that flow so easy from me hold you in captivity and break you down slowly, fully emersed, wrapped in perverse words like a mummy, held captive in this verse like a dummy, a cursed hostage with no request for no money, no escape once I've got thee and test out my theory that clearly I can do just as much damage with word trickery as one could do with assault and battery or a quick slice of a main vain artery but with no evidence visually I get away scott-free

So listen with caution, this cautionary tale is not spun to further the friction, there's not a fraction of this that's fiction, it's just that I can't stop what's already begun, what's done is done, I've won, your defenses are broken, the threat was one not as obvious as a gun so you thought it innocent fun but the jokes on you son, as soon as you read the caption it was straight to the coffin, my words just happen to often be a little somethin' like Jason, Mr Voorhees on a couple ****** sprees, tape shows once the chasings begun it would do no good to run, a fusion of life and illusion to cause mass confusion and frighten to the point you die of a brain contusion, written in a way that there's no coming back from, fallen from grace, in continuous motion as you fall through the bottom of your rock bottom, a deep chasm, a dark ocean, it's going to be grousome but by that point I'm on to the next one cause I know the outcome, you were ****** from before you could even apply caution,  before you realized you should use a life line to call someone, its already become something that could never be undone, don't look for a cure cause I can assure there ain't none. There's no fun in the remedy so I take action to make sure there ain't one

©2023
Jeremy Betts Nov 2023
Walk around palms up like "what the fuuck?"
Low-quality literature John Travolta, dumbstruck
Lingering havoc of being awestruck by dumb luck
Stuck in the rut felt in the pit of a stomach
Nut up or shut up mukbang, self demise potluck
Lame-duck after lame-duck left to run amuck
Anyone else know what the fuuck?

©2023
Jeremy Betts May 21
Sometimes it's as simple as squeezing one thought into one quotation
Sometimes it's too wordy to reach that satisfaction following an end
Sometimes it's simple but ya can't find the words while missing all the signs
Sometimes it's complicated but can be illustrated in just a few lines
Sometimes you can't figure out how to coax it out
Sometimes there's no stopping it from getting out and wandering about

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 5
Way down deep, beyond the bleak
Mingling with what denies sleep
Under the heap of secrets we keep
Past what triggers one to weep
Is where you'll find a meet and greet
With what you sow and what you reap
You'll try your best to sneak and creep
Recalling advice that didn't come cheap
"That next step there is ridiculously steep,
Remember to set a reminder
To look before you leap"

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 12
Searching wildly
Mind and heart
Panics arrival forever untimely
Becoming flailing limbs in the dark
Desperately feeling for a way toward a way to put it mildly
Never finding more than a question mark
Tripping on everything I should have already put behind me
Blindly trying to look over everything said from the start
Only finding it's the same as before the start mark
I'm sorry to report
All I can find,
All I really have
Is another sorry sorry
One more weightless apology

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jul 24
•••
Welcome home
•••
Heart of stone
House of glass
Fault is not mine alone
Karma credit blown
It happens fast
With no receipt shown
The last to know
A forced outcast
I didn't get here on my own
A house of glass
And a single stone
Another broken home
•••

©2024
Jeremy Betts Mar 10
I should probably introduce myself
My name is Anyone Else
It'd be more than obvious to state I'm a mess
Even though I do try my best
Well, maybe not every time
But I toe the line
I'm not sure it's the right one
Can't know that 'till my times done
Attempted some revision to the predestined
Tried to storyboard my own end
Frankly, I couldn't manage
My baggages baggage had to much baggage
Overwhelmed seamlessly flipped to defeated
A weak will finally and now fully depleted
Note beforehand, this is beyond making a statement
My name is actually, probably, most likely, irrelevant
Knowing me will only be watching me come and go
That's best case scenario

©2024
Jeremy Betts Sep 2022
You call this living, I call it survival, no more pretending that everyone's equal
If all y'all get this undeserved label of special it's disgraceful
It's wasteful not wonderful 'cause that means no one is special
Just a single shape stencil, a number two if you will, but is it poo or pencil
Either way sign below and hand over the soul and no one will get hurt until maybe tomorrow
I find it probable that you could choke on the blue and overdose on the red pill
Let's go ahead and change the slogan from "We the People" to "We the Sheeple
'Cause look the spectacle, they're herding this flock of bigotry and evil straight to the steeple
It's obvious that what they claim to matter is not brain but rather *****
Hopeful it'll go unnoticed that the boat's always had a hole, the cover up comical
No intention to fix it though, not that it's impossible, it's just that their main goal has never been to be helpful
It's shameful but we're still expected to accept all their bull shiit and be eternally grateful
Grateful?! Hell no, I find it hard to be civil with these simple, bottom of the barrel, garbage pail people
I watch every good for nothing stereotypical imbecile as they revel in just how little they know about anything useful
Shiit, I myself didn't know it was possible to set a bar so low with the refusal to even try and meet somewhere in the middle
But they're always able to fall back on denial, hiding behind the iron sights of a rifle, running orange hate straight up the flag pole
A don't tread on me disciple with their own personal motto on signature apparel, backing a shadow government tribunal
Half occupying a big tent revival, hatting on a manufactured rival just 'cause some *** hat, ******* said so
Grab your personal blind fold at the door before going in to read the vile pages of the bible
Trying to convince yourself that it's gospel but if that's true you'd have to accept, then adapt to having a black soul
Deep down you already know it's an undeniable abysmal circus clown shiit show
What good is having ample evidence if no one's held accountable, even as we sit at the one millionth example
We're all banging our heads against this wall like a judge swinging his gavel
Now is the time to bail on this nauseating carousel, any hesitation could be futile, not a worth while gamble
All the while each illegitimate man child in power hasn't told a single truth in a long while
They have the gal to stand in front of a pile of the gullible and lie through a smile
And the onlookers soak up this bile as a little dribble of spittle appears as the listeners brain looses signal
But for them thinking isn't critical, calling forth the tribulations of revaluations while skipping the trial
Forgetting that back when you were just a child you were told not to judge, but a god complex is your desired style
Doing the unthinkable has become a profitable ritual, asking for help now treated as rhetorical
Historical failures on a global level, the leaders themselves are the perpetual obstacle
Only allowed to live so they can make money on your funeral, basic human needs shouldn't be treated as charitable
The fix is simple enough to get through even the thick skull of a dude-bro, so you'd think it'd be achievable
But our voice is rarely heard, a subtle mic cut before we're able get out anything that resembles a rebuttal
So we're stuck getting fuucked in this government funded brothel running out of the basement of a hostel designated as the capital
They profess they aren't responsible for the struggle brought on by the fallacies they try and juggle
How is this legal? It's gone on this way for so long that it's no longer seen as a scandal, just business as usual
Every word hypocritical, right and wrong indistinguishable, as our bill of rights and constitution become controversial
There's never been a time in history this hasn't been factual which also means getting out might not be truly achievable

Welcome to the show, pick a row and grab a seat, let's watch the slow burn glow
And here...we...go...

©2022
Jeremy Betts Jun 2023
There's all this talk around me about some profound we that's never found me
They talking a collective we?
One agreed on collectively but conveniently and continuously minus me
Is it the me, myself and I type we? Cause defining a trinity might not unveil anything holy
Or could they be referring to the we that turns to just me when things get a little bit heavy?
That kind of we?
Maybe they mean the we I'm supposed to automatically call family
Even though history will show them as a two faced enemy
Both ones I've picked or have befriended me, eventually it's contempathy from a frienemy
An uninterested we that hardly reciprocates the love that's expected to freely flow from me blindly
What baffles me still is this bloodline we that aren't even aware of me
Or they are aware just unwilling to add me to their we
Coldly my psyche reminds me, "you're nobody's somebody buddy, sorry."
Personally, I say let 'em swing from their positions above and beside me on the family tree
Unfortunately they will always be a part of the conversation when discussing this we
The good, the bad and the ugly represented by said we but projected on me
Now listen closely, I claim to have came to this conclusion organically

There is no we, only me

Nonsense spewed when angry but the me I try to hide visually, the one projecting he doesn't need a we
Cries out for somebody when times get lonely, lies and said I'm my only company
Cause I can not see the we that is meant to be, the we I thought was only a dream of a faded childhood memory
It's not only right in front of me but all around me and already a part of me
I had no idea this door even had a handle for entry with a keyhole much less a key
Apparently it was the skeleton type and had to be pulled out of me
Reality blends with fantasy in the best way, what else is there to say? I've found my we and another reason to be happy

©2023
Jeremy Betts May 1
If I'm able
I'll cheer you on
If I'm capable
I'll clap for however long
If you need just a little
I'll whisper you a song
I'll crack a funny riddle
Just to hear you laugh along
I care so very little of the battle
You're right, I'm wrong
Don't be bashful
The night is long
Perfect days are doubtful
But we'll never doubt where we belong

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 26
A minnow that's forgotten it's in water
A buzzard who's forgotten it's wings
A primate with no hands and feet
A star with no mass

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 26
I am afraid of my rage
It's hard to gage
Even at this age
What will unlock the cage
Bringing the worst of me to the main stage
I am afraid

I am afraid of my depression
I've failed to get a grip on
This destructive emotion
An unmovable mountain
And the worst possible thing to become canon
I am afraid

I am afraid of my anxiety
Me against me
Me hating me personally
Confidence will atrophy
All I can do is hope no one can see
I am afraid

I am afraid of myself
I am afraid for myself
I am afraid I'm not good for my own health
I am afraid of me more than maybe anything else

©2024
Jeremy Betts May 13
A fumblin, bumblin'
Waste of skin husband
No one's going with me,
I mean him,
As an option
*** happened?
A premature has been
Similar to the ******* situation
Uh,
So I've heard people sayin'
Get the list of con's reigned in
A list of pro's has never been
Mention every sin in confession
But where to begin
Actually, here's a better question,
Would it even matter in the end?
Let's see what happens when I,
I mean he,
Begins to pretend
If faked long enough can it change the trend,
Or push it all beyond the mend?
Uhhhh, of course, you know,
I'm actually askin' for a friend...

©2024
Jeremy Betts May 13
How is this a bold statement?
"I don't give a shiit
And I'll continue to refrain from giving a shiit
'Till your shiit
Impedes on my shiit"
What part of that shiit
Do you not get?

©2024
Jeremy Betts Mar 2018
One thing I don't have is that all important "it", I've never possessed "it"
But I'd let "it" possess me just to be allowed the opportunity to feel "it"
But I don't get "it" and I know I won't get "it", I don't understand "it" can't put my finger on"it"
Every aspect of "it" is completely foreign to me and to be honest, to my knowledge, I can't say I've ever even witnessed "it"
Is "it" the forest I can't see through the trees or have I been standing right in front of "it"
Sense of smell can't track "it" with the sent of my own **** on my knees to mask "it"
Completely oblivious to "it". Would do no good to show me "it" cause I'm blind to "it"
I don't trust "it", can't even find "it" to have the opportunity to put my faith in"it"
Actually, I'm not sure if you add to "it", take from "it"or let "it" run "its" course and not touch "it"
There's also a chance that "it" is something I should run and hide from so I'm not sure that if I did get "it" I'd want to keep "it"
Zero knowledge on "it" so no solid opinions can be drawn from "it" but I will say this about "it"
I don't believe "it" nor do I believe in "it", there's so much that I don't know about "it"
Can't achieve "it", never even had a little bit of "it", couldn't ever grasp "it" so "it" was able to get out of hand quick
I guess if you consider **** "it" then I've had a life time full of "it"
Still alive despite of "it", don't know if I defeated "it" or survived "it"
How can I tone "it" down when I'm not even the slightest bit aware of "it"
I only claim to have planned "it" but I've never even had a hand in "it"
I wonder if there is a kit I can get? I don't care if there is assembly required, I need "it"
Well, they need me to need "it"
At least that's what I'm told about"it", try to convince me of "it"
It'd be my luck that I'd get "it" but with no instructions for "it"
On the plus side, you can't lose "it" if you've never had "it"
But standing motionless I'll never get close to "it", maybe I'm afraid of "it"
Please, is there someone there that can explain "it" in simple enough terms to clarify "it"?
No? Then fuuck "it" and the idea of "it", I'm done chasing "it"
Truth be told, I'm not gonna sign for "it",  didn't sign up for "it", never even wanted "it",
Especially if "it" doesn't even exist on this planet, pointless to go after "it", why chance "it"?
So before I could find "it" I'm already done and over "it", can no longer go along with "it"
"It's" behind me, I see "it" clearly in the rearview of my u-haul, I've moved on from "it"
Left "it" at the last rest stop, never to go back to "it" or look back on "it"
Forget about"it", not falling for "it" again, miss me with all that bull shiit...I'm out of "it"

©2018
Jeremy Betts Jun 11
Love me for me
or
Bow out gracefully
Schedule to leave me be
For the rest of infinity
If you're not going to do it discretely
And sever the ties neatly
I beg you to erase me entirely
Label me the falling tree
And I'll go quietly
Consider that a final promise from me
Or a threat if need be
Depending on if you need me to be the enemy
If there's any particular story
You're lookin' to re-weave back into your flippant memory
Then sure, feel free,
Go ahead and rewrite history

©2024
Jeremy Betts Jun 4
Forever slipping, sitting at the bottom of the top of the food chain
Trying to stay dialed in, working on removing my latest stain while older ones still remain
Struggling with another rebuild from the ground up, "job well done" but never paid
One crucial thing was forgotten, no foundation laid
I've played and been played, gone when I shoulda stayed
Had my faith destroyed by the faithful though I've recently prayed
My mental health convinced me to refuse medical aid, at least by anyone trained
Stood and faced the death brigade firing squad and I'm the idiot who brought a blade
Witnessing the beginning of the end, acid rain on my parade
No wrongs righted, song and dance quieted, exposing the charade
A tailor-made masquerade, face the price when dues aren't paid
I fell to the fray, had to say, "today's your day Satan" but not to be a renegade
But because I'm pretty sure I make the man upstairs afraid
He hasn't answered any of the calls I've made

©2023
Jeremy Betts Oct 4
What happened to my recall?
The damp grass that tickled my bare feet as a youngin
Now feel angry and sharp as actual blades slicing in
What happened to the wonderful?
The warm sand I loved to feel embrace each individual toe
Now grate my every individual nerve as I find there's nowhere it won't go
What happened to the whimsical?
I frolicked with grasshoppers
And blew dandelion wishes
Today I'm annoyed by those buggers
And stare resentment at the weeds through the window while washing dishes
What happened to the critical?
A breath of fresh air
Can hardly be had anywhere
And I wonder over and over again
"Is this supposed to happen?"
"What happened?"

©2024
Jeremy Betts Aug 29
To be honest,
I don't miss you
To be honest,
I'm lying

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 17
To pain I am no stranger
The first name basis is strange for sure
Caught up in an above the boards love affair
Like day to day warfare
It's fare if everyone fights fare
Otherwise it's life as a sucker in a bunker
Still not safe from the vulture culture
Fueling an anger that stirs the rage monster
Who then in turn wakes the violence that likes to linger
One v one they're barley a threat to boil over
The one benefit found for getting older
They can be handled in short order
But together they can alter a future
I acknowledge the fact it's part of my character
And work to recognize each trigger better
Enabling myself to be my own mediator
So I can step in-between me and myself quicker
It was all just, once again, too little too late,
I missed the transition from raging river
To city sewer
Instead of shooting a flare in the air I dropped anchor in danger
The last bridge I let smolder after traversing over
Was the only bridge out of my hell,
A sobering thing to remember only after realizing there was never going to be a true winner

©2024
Jeremy Betts Apr 15
Thoughts deflate then wither in silence,
Contained in this skull shaped dome
Breath taxis the sound like an organic drone
But delivers to no one,
A voiceless zone
They said they'd be here,
But no one's shown
It isn't new,
Still don't know what to do to atone
I wouldn't say I'm not lonely,
Just not alone
Many fractured personalities have left the nest,
Off to make a life of their own
I try to keep the piece on my own
Not a radical idea
Though
Not something I'd condone
It increases the gravity of a situation,
One I could have never known
But what's another boulder to a shoulder of stone?
The devil on the other shoulder is now older and grown
Adopting a fatherly tone
I got a bone to pick with him,
But that'll have to wait till we find home

©2024
Jeremy Betts Dec 2023
No more heart to break
No more heart to ache
No more heart at stake
Not sure how much more this heart can take
Bake a fake heart cake and wait
Just to wake late and see it deflate under the weight
Why'd I bother with a serving plate?
Escape the heartbreak and all the heartache
Far to much at stake
What's the houses take
Regret the wait while cursing fate
Can fate make a mistake?

©2023
Jeremy Betts Aug 13
Eyelids drop like guillotine blades
Cutting off a visual connection with reality
The world falls into the vastness of a bottomless basket
And the body becomes unimportant
As this energy that was once somebody moves on to what's next

©2024
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