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I am tethering on the edge again
plagued by decisions, too many
the path to travel is nowhere in sight
all that I have left is melancholy.

I remember how I got to this place
it was certain that I would always be right
yet at every fork, I went wrong or left
now there’s no going back, try as I might.

At sorrow’s end I see myself again
as a farmer trying to grow his future
drawing from the well of memories
tilling the fields like a Repugnant Creature.

The choice is simple when I think about it
to savor the moment, or to sacrifice
yet the edge I stand on, rocking back and forth
I cannot find happiness, regardless of the price.

“Fly”, screams the wind, pushing me ever so gently
“Stay”, say the memories, holding me back in place.
“Fight” mumbles my own inner voice
“Pray”, says the world that put me in this cage.

Weary, I sit down on that cliff
staring for answers in that dark abyss
fighting to undo the chains that bind me
all I ever wanted was a little bit of bliss.

This place is cruel, but so am I
unwilling to give up or to fly away
to go anywhere, just not here
my will won’t be undone, it will not sway.

This is another fork, just like before
a battle to be fought before I have recovered
a question that needs an answer right now
To sever, or to be severed?
Contemplating some tough decisions in real life, this is just but a reflection of what's going through my mind.
julia 5d
Death knocks on my door
three times, ever so gently.
But I don't answer.
written around May 2017
pick your poison, is how the adage goes
no one toxin is identical
they all accomplish the same deed

ground by each decision
you wither away to no more than a fine dust
worn from the stress of painful repercussions
those of work and relaxation
those of love and isolation
those of life and death

i gaze into the wandering eyes of others, and wonder
how hollow are they
do they have substance or
are they solely a shell
held together by the laws of conformity
never daring to commit that felony

i guess that makes me criminal
as I choose to crumble visibly,
at least without a guise
i can be reborn into
myself
Ormond Sep 29
.
When love was young and bore an immigrant
Soul, how fresh and adventurous the years
And brinkmanship, my rite, was took for grant,
Aye, in my flotsam and jetsam, I spent no tears
Which by and by a greedy sea of beginnings
Has left no bounty, but cargo delivered or turned
To wood adrift, which built but useless things,
Children love tossing in fires bonny burned.
Here I lie, on the waters edge, searching—
For something to contain my emptiness,
My wanderlust, but like shy waves lurching,
I wrestle now, toward land, not loneliness.
Though I spent my life as a flag unfurled,
A disembodied soul is without this world.
.
liza Sep 23
i dreamt of an older me
looking back at my life,
And i cried
not about all the mistakes
i made, but all that i
 could've done right
 if i hadn't waisted
so much time
crying over those mistakes
Mister J Sep 22
Living life with no regrets
Loving fiercely and passionately
Making the most of our mortal lives
In living fully on borrowed time

It comes once in a lifetime
A love that consumes us
Burning our very cores
Melding both body and soul

Often times we feel the pain
More so than feeling the pleasure
But I guess that's how love works
Eternal devotion to the one you choose

If given the chance to relive my life
To make all my wrongs right and correct
I'd rather relive it the way it is
And lead me to you the same way it did

If given the chance to choose again
Out of the billions of people in the world
I'd rather choose you and be broken by you again
Than to have never met and loved you at all

I'd rather love you
Than to love anyone else
Since you complete my life
And I, yours

The world may be against us
Star-crossed lovers in a vast uncertainty
But hear me when I say
That I choose you against the world
Because all this time
You became the world to me
You are the world I choose
Even if Destiny is against it
Even if Fate doesn't approve of it
Even if Eternity frowns upon it
My heart screams for your name
No matter how much my mind tells me
"NO"
I'll love you 'til the end of time
With a resounding
"YES"
Thanks for reading.

-J
Carter Ginter Sep 21
I love myself
Even if I do not know them yet
I can learn and grow
And discover my truth

Time heals all pain
It will let me live again
I can accept that I cannot change
Into exactly who I want to be yet
Because I know one day it will happen
And I will be free from this trauma

But I must put in the work
I must be diligent with my time
Not must
This is a choice I am making
I choose to give myself time to heal
A space to be myself
And a chance to grow
A chance to be happy
And one day I will be
Carter Ginter Sep 21
I take solace in knowing
That in a few hours
I get to choose
How much to bleed
How deep to go
I get to make the choice
And take control
Over this one thing at least

I want to feel the pain
I want to stain my arms
I am and deserve
Nothing
I am a broken human
Waiting to feel alive
Seeking high after high
In drug after person
After drug and
I am lonely but
I want to be alone
I don't want him to see me
See the ways I wish to bleed
Just let me be
Nothing
Until I become
A self-fulfilling prophecy
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