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Amanda 24m
I do not know why I miss you
After the pain you caused my heart
Or why I love you so much when it's obvious
We are clearly better apart
Sometimes the person you want most is the person youre best without
how sad
how infuriating
most of all
how pathetic
it is
to know
that still, today, after everything
I'm still stuck in the mud that is your love
i'm still here, praying
in the end
it'll be me and you
it'f funny because
I convinced myself after you finally left I'd be able to move forward
but today, I lay, alone.
my bruises, faded.
my tears, dried.
& my skirt had been dusted from all the remains of you
so why in hell
do I still feel like this?
I'm bound to a person
who turns his head at my phone calls
I know I know
I should be so far gone by now.
I even know I deserve better.
but it doesn't seem to stop me
I wake each morning
I dream each night
I make the choice everyday
to sit in our spot
& wait for your return

- When are you coming home?
Jaida 5h
You left me broken.

Because of you I judged myself a little harder.

Reasons you loved me were now the things I wanted to change.

Out of all things, you used my vulnerabilities against me.

Kindness was used as a weakness, but you were too. My love was taken for granted.

Even though I still loved you for a while afterwards i finally realized my worth.

Not only was i broken, but i was growing. And the new me was glowing. And the part of my life without you i just couldn't wait to show it. My confidence was my new strength and I had you to thank.

All because you left me.
fists clenched with white knuckled force,
my nails pierce this skin and
blood trickles down fingers from these
perforated palms, and i can’t help
but to think how this pain
is nothing but a distraction.

— biting your tongue to stop the tears only goes so far
my wrists ache with desire and these lungs hitch
and heave with each sickening sob.
as my body begs to feel,
and my heart begs to not.

— to feel everything and nothing at once
don't worry; i didn't
the vivid pictures of raindrops tapping on windshields
have always been something to stay with me.
my raindrop memories of you were my most special
but as of late they've brought me nothing but sorrow.
the way your windows cried as we sat in our own euphoria,
shielded from the evils which plagued us
reminds me now of the way i had thunderstorms in my eyes
when you left.
i have an entire playlist of songs that i can't bring myself to listen to anymore
because every note reminds me of my fingers locked with yours
and every strum tugs at my heartstrings so hard they ache
there's no amount of pills in the world that could help me forget what your touch felt like
there's nothing on this earth that could soothe the ache in my stomach that arises when I hear your name
i thought of putting my pretty neck through a fucking noose once or twice since then
because i feel like i'm drowning and nobody knows how to swim
i can never be sure of how it feels to be shrouded in genuine happiness
because all this time i thought you were the source of mine
but how could something so perfect be so corrupt?
how could you take your once gentle hands and wrap them around my neck?
squeezing the life from my lungs while hot tears dance on my cheeks just like the raindrops on your windshield.
i know this wasn't too hard for you, but it's still killing me.
I finally learned how
to feel good alone
and pull up barstools
on my own
and that love comes
from many different places

then I saw a grey-haired
couple on the street
he looked at her
like you once looked at me
I didn’t know how much heartache could come
from unfamiliar faces
an0nym0us 19h
Turns my smile into frown...
Anxiety, I'm drowning deep down.
A voice deep within,
Another face that hides within.

Acceptance of the fact,
In denial of the truth.
Keeping thy self low,
Feelings, I am willing to throw.

My apologies,
If only I can put an end to this,
I can't find inner peace
With fate being such a tease...

I have so much respect for you
What I feel is true
All I speek is absolute
Reason for many to salute.
one night you asked me if I remembered what it was like to be in love with you
I laughed to myself because
how could I forget?
you standing there, hands in your pockets
the smile whenever you laid your eyes on me
the t-shirt you wore under your clothes, everyday,
because it was once your fathers
the scar behind your left ear
that appeared after fighting for your sister
How could I forget?
dancing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles
laughing so hard we could feel it in our hearts
smoking in your car, blasting music
making future plans to run away
I knew then I had it all
I know now, forgetting will never be an option for us
How could I forget you?
I could've sworn you put the sun in the sky and the stars in my eyes
there's no forgetting a love like ours
when my mind is quiet
my heart erupts emotions
it's pain erodes the mind blocks
and gives me whiplash
it subjects itself to neurons
and interlaces by craft
my heart befriends unspoken dialogue
and bears itself to my sensibility
it outbursts towards my brains game
in disparity
to be understood

it shreds
and snaps
and cripples

when my mind is quiet
my heart screams to make itself known
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