You're an island
that housed beauty many shipments ago
For a drowning soul,
can only be saved by a rush of gold

Treasures of gold, lie hidden bestowed,
Beneath the crater of an old souls bowl

If my heart be the earth,
I'd look for peace
If my death sparked life,
I'd look to leave
And if life had meaning,
What could this be?

If my heart was round, I'd assume the earth fits this mold
Many moons ago it could dare lay low

Darkness fears the light
Like a kid in twilight 
Pondering on quiet times
Spent churning the street fights

I guess I should thank you
For the solitude
I definitely do
Deserve some me time

I will drop everything,
and stay,
all you have to do
is ask.

maybe
you can
teach me a lesson
that needs
to be learned

about how
i’ve always
been
the fire,
but i
can still
get burned

i dream of you
even when i’m awake
fading in
and out
of each day
as they all blend
and blur into one

nothing has been the same
since i first learned your name
and my heart hurts all the time
because i want you so badly
and you’ll never be mine

time stops for me
every now and then
when you pop up
into my life
and give me a reason
to smile again

i don’t want it to end

but it’s not for me
i’m not for it
no, i’m just a pile of ****
and the smiles i wear
always fade away
so quickly

I want to tell you about my day

I want to tell you that I went to see my old house and I felt this sickening nostalgia as my mom and I drove down the road that my dad left us on
the same road we chased after him on 13 some years ago

I want to tell you that today I looked in the mirror and didn't even recognize my reflection, all I saw was this girl looking back at me that I didn't even recognize, nor liked

I want to tell you that I miss you but I'm starting to miss myself more, how I feel like you're attempting to control the tings that composed my very being before I met you

I want to tell you that I don't think you understand life or people as much as you think you do
I don't think you care about me the same way that you used to

I want to tell you that I feel like I'm rotting and wasting away but don't have the strength anymore to get up and do anything about it

I want to tell you that I don't think I'm as extroverted as I used to be, being around people for longer than a few hours makes me physically exhausted enough to faint

I want to tell you that love is not control, love is attending a thousand funerals of who someone used to be and loving each person they become without trying to change that

I want to tell you I made the front page of a poetry website I've been writing on for 5 years and I'm proud of myself for creating something I think is worthwhile even if you don't

I want to read you my poetry but I know you well enough to know you won't appreciate the thoughts I have, writing them off as some heavy self destructive woman who's too emotional sometimes or not emotional enough at others

I want to read you my poetry and have you truly listen

The term “ghosting” is inaccurate.

Ghosts actually care enough to stick around
because that’s the only way
they can haunt you.

To say a guy “ghosts” you when he doesn’t text you back is an insult to real ghosts

(see, real ghosts are actually
capable of commitment).

and when it is sunny i will stare right at it and hope to god it never leaves my very bloodstream

i have injected you.