I wish that the first time I spoke to you,
I had one hand wrapped around the leather strap
tethered to my dog's collar,
instead of leaving her home to worry
and allowing my hands the
freedom to tear myself apart in
front of you
because finally tearing myself down
felt like a wonderful thing to do.

I wish I'd had her with me
because she has always been
the one more likely to trust her gut
and warn people like you to stay away.

I wish I'd had her with me,
because I know that she would not
have let you take a single step towards me
even if I wanted to let you close.

I still remember the way you would
sweat nervously
at the thought of my hanging around with
my friends who did not like you.
If you were so worried about them,
I am sure you would have been all the more
terrified of her.
Not because she would bite you,
not because she is dangerous.
But because she is not fooled as easily as me.
She would have sensed the danger,
pulling me farther away
than was comfortable for you to imagine.

I say this not to be cruel,
but rather to speak out loud
a thought which has
fluttered through my mind all day,
the corners of my lips curved
in my own quiet amusement.

My dog wouldn't have liked you very much.
I try to make you laugh as much as I can.
Still you sleep.
I have trouble dozing off.
To catch the part of my dream you laugh the hardest.
Soon as I am out good.
I wake right back up.
Aware that there is no such sleep.
Still I try
Amanda 15h
I would rather have
Moved on too quickly than held
On for way too long
I just had to title it this
Jessa 1d
I was smiling
With a crown on my head
I was pretty
And happiness
Shown in my eyes
But now....
There’s no more image
To define me
There’s no shape
To picture
How I looked like
Just dull colors
With torn paper
Stained with my tears
Unrecognizable.....
For I'm the faded portrait
That you used to paint
With love

-Jessa ©
I’m glad to see you can find
Such beautiful things the world
has to offer.
to tread carefully, and, behold,
he gave the flowers and trees to you,
The sun recreated in your image
Convincing the stars
That they weren’t all that heavenly
Compared to you.

And when he saw in you light,
hastened the hands of foolish taking
To your happiness
he holds captive trying to imitate.
another goddamn love poem
Kate G 1d
I sat by the window and gazed out
at the rain falling down
in torrents and sheets.
The night was black as ink, save the stars;
barely visible behind thick storm clouds,
pinpricks of silver in the ebony scape,
as the rain continued to fall.

I thought of you, of the deliberation in your face
etched into every feature an painful, wavering resolve.
The decision before you:
two fates, the ending, or the prolonging of the time before the terminal predetermined.

I grieved as I remembered the pain in your eyes.
I know you too well. I have seen too much of you
for you to hide this from me. I broke
-a silent cry of realization, collapsing my furrowed brow into a contorted countenance
as I realized that you were gone
not just for now, but for good.

And so there I sat that night,
after I removed the gold chain you rested around my neck
after I scrubbed away the makeup
after I traded my lipsticked smile for a mourning countenance
-I sat, alone in the dark, and gazed out the window into the rain.
I wondered where things had gone wrong.

And so, May showers
drove away April's flowers.
It was all I could do to cry quietly,
face soaked with the saline of sadness
that dripped now on my chest.

Now, I sit again at the window
and the same song plays that had consoled me before
'you'll feel better when you wake up'
And I did.
The sadness stayed safely at the bay
while I tried to channel it again
But this time it wasn't the same.
Though I duplicated the mood down to the clothes I wore,
the heartache was no longer fresh
and my face remained dry.

Sure, I felt sad. But it was not from you.
It was not from a heartbreak or a brokenness.
It was inorganic sadness, brought on by my own need for closure,
the thirst for a goodbye that burned my throat in agony and sorrow
that my parched lips would never find.
Song quoted: "Wake Up" by EDEN
I should have known to never trust a poet,
cause they know what makes the human heart tick best.
I should have known to never kiss a poet,
cause they leave the sweetest aftertaste.
I should have known to never save a poet,
cause they all rather bleed and brawl.
I should have resist myself becoming a poet,
cause we can never do the math.
I should have...
All Rights Reserved 2018
I'm suppose to be the one that is there for you
The one to make you smile in times of chaos

But I failed

The one to know your loved and cared for
The one to mend your heart and mind

But I went too far

I really can't forgive myself for this and we both know this was my fault
I had good intentions that went selfish

I miss you

You mean the world to me and I would never try to hurt you intentionally

But I hurt you

I don't deserve you or deserve to be your life
In the beginning all I did was try to help
Now your hearts hurting from torment I caused

Your everything to me
Even If you don't see that now

All I wanted was try to help
But I hurt you
Again....
Help me be better because I'm worthless compared to you
I went too far this time
I hurt you again
Sent your heart into disarray
Gave you a reason to doubt me

I hope you can forgive me
Because I can't forgive myself
I hurt you again, what wrong with me
I was just trying to help
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