Driving home
Song reminds me of you
Comes on
That's when I break down
Eyes will be red
From all the tears
I'm gonna cry now
Don't know how I fell this hard
For somebody, I never met
The only answer I can get is
I'm in love with the idea of you
I'm sorry for lashing out
Just wanted you to be all in
Didn't like the games
it felt like you were playing

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just sex from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

There seems to be
All these little things
That just remind me of you
And I'd give anything
Just to talk to you
You know I would
(You know I would)
Images flash in my head
Memories of you
Can't escape
This heartbreak
Can't find a way
To lose these feelings
You gave

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just sex from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

Feels like I've lost
A part of my soul
Feels like there's a massive hole
Inside of me
Where you used to be
I'm trying to fill it
With something else
Can't seem to find something
That makes me feel the same way
That I feel about you
Still crushed
Still, hurts with every heartbeat
Ode to her on repeat
Can't believe I lost it all
Just like that
It all ended
Just like that

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just sex from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

Still, love ya
Still, want ya
Want you to know
This heart is still yours
No matter what you think
What you thought
I was always gonna be yours
I may be, broken
Shattered at the core
But I'd go back through it all
for you
I'd do anything for you

They tried to tell me this was lust
But I know it never was
Wanted more than just sex from you
You gave me that rest of my life
Kind of vibe
And all I wanted to do
Was fall deeply in love with you
Could somehow picture just us two.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I want to bite your lips.
I want to taste your skin.
I want to peel back your layers, won't you let me in?
I'll  crawl inside,  let me see what's within.
I'll Find your blackend heart.
Show me your deepest thoughts, a little trouble mixed with sin.
Breathe me in, up your nostrils I'll cling.
I'll corse through your veins, I'll be a stinging in your brain.
I'll be your waking thought, trouble from the start.

This was just a quick little poem that I just threw together. It's not much just a jumble of words from silence and not being able to sleep.

Invisible water is filling up a lung,
constantly drowning in an everyday world.
No words to every song that has ever been sung,
we are born and we die the same; body curled.
Trees grow but leafs fall, a barren way left to display,
Seas and breeze call, it's said that night is the one true love to day.

We try to be our best, but our best is rarely enough.
With the beat that's in our chest, we're fooled to think that we are tough.
Language was made to communicate, but we quarrel in pettiness.
Still we can all relate to an elegy of emptiness.

There's a dark room in every home,
and each closet holds atleast a single skeleton.
Our feet recognize the path we roam,
and you're not surprised that you fell again.
Puddles gather for us to splash, separating each drop from kin,
I know I'd rather just ask for the water to let me come in.

We try to be our best, but our best is rarely enough.
We all need to take a rest, our strength is now merely a bluff.
Distance is here for us to jump, but not many know readiness,
everyone has some sort of slump with an elegy of emptiness.

Lives travel on, and many paths become split,
and we all prattle on, only our feelings do we acquit.
Life doesn't stop for any one person, no matter the benefit.
But you listen to a different version, that much you have to admit.

We try to be our best, but our best is rarely enough.
Each day now is just a test, truth mixed in with the fluff.
Souls were made to connect, but most care only for prettiness,
not realizing the effect and then the elegy of emptiness.

Using the title of "Elegy of Emptiness" from one of my favourite video games, "Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask" to try and write something out.

It sucks, doesn't it.

To like someone you can't have.
Seeing them everyday.
But knowing that they'll never be yours.

It's the worst feeling.
Because all you can do is dream
about and wish for them.
But never really have them.

Of course it hurts, you idiot. It was always going to hurt. It’s supposed to. That’s what the process of becoming is.  It's a painful, messy birth into something else, something better. Growing, changing, experiencing, learning, living…you can’t have it without the hurt. So hold onto that pain, kid, it means you’re still alive... and there's still a chance.

Do you ever just have the
biggest fucking crush on
someone ever and you just
know it wont work because
they're too old or you're
not good enough or they
and too attractive for you
so you pretty much spend
what feels like eternity
having the explainable
feeling for them until it rids
of the small bit of heart
you have left until you find
another person to have the
same shitty feeling towards.

You are not mine,
but sometimes
i pretend that
you wish you were

i create this idea
that you secretly
want me

and i often forget
its just something
i've made up

You do not want me,
and you are not mine.

(Yeah)
It seems I had to go and write
Untitled part two
Just to express
How much I hate you
Shouldn't have got that tattoo
The one that everybody
told me not to
Yep shouldn't have gotten
Your name Inked into my skin
That was a mistake
That shouldn't have been
But it seems
I was too stubborn to listen
Said I wouldn't be
another one of your victims

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe that you could hurt me.

Remember the time
You said that you'd be mine
So I left the girl
I could have been with
Just to get stabbed in the back
By you, never thought,
you could get so cruel.
You selfish bitch
You left me to rot in a ditch
Broken hearted.
Goodbye dearly departed
Nah you are freaking retarded
Do you think I'll let you
walk away, that easily?
I want you to feel
Everything you did to me
Like Remember when you said
That you loved me
You said it so convincingly
And did it so consistently
Only to rape me emotionally
and make it hurt physically
When your words hit
They hit like a brick
I shouldn't have sat
and taken it silently
I should have retaliated violently

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Oh here it comes
Said I'd be your guardian angel
But now I hope you burn in hell
For leaving me to burn in the flames
To drown in your little love game
Yeah said I'd rise from the ashes
A Phoenix of vengeance
I never pretended I was in love
I never betrayed you in anyways
And how do you repay me
But walk away,
forgot every word
You ever said to me?
Do you know how much that hurt?
Do you know how much that burnt?
No, no you don't
Because you didn't careless
How I felt
And I gave you everything
Only to have it
thrown back in my face
Think your gonna
get away with that?
Nah shit I won't
let you get away with it

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

Stop psychologically messing
With my head
Because you plagued my mind
One, two, too many time
Everything we had
between you and I
Was all based on a lie
And I can't even explain how or why
I should have known
That I couldn't trust you
I should have seen all the cracks
Starting to show through
I should have known
That I couldn't let you in
So that you could
Just try to find a way to win
Should never have shown
you all of my scars
Just so you could cut in deeper
That made me bleed a lot easier
Yeah well, guess what girl?
This ends here, I've had enough
Because there was
never gonna be an us
I can't trust you now
I couldn't trust you then
So I'm gonna leave
you lying in the dirt
If you ever come running back again

As stars fall from the sky
Everything was lost
between you and I
Every night another fight
Every time another lie
And when you set in
To get under my skin
I just couldn't see
What you had coming
A door was wide open
For the beast to creep in
And get me unexpectedly

I thought you were perfect
Only to find out
You were never worth it
You were never worth any of my time
Should have left you the first time
I laid my eyes on you
But I was sucked in by your smile
Yeah you may have been beautiful
But your ugly on the inside
There was no soul there to find
A monster is all you'll ever be
A heart eater why couldn't I see
Maybe I just didn't want to believe
That you could hurt me.

©2017 Written By Benji James

I don't know why I miss you so much
for you always seemed to make me sad.
Yet I ache to feel the warmth of your touch
and I long for the love we once had.

I miss the taste of your soft, sweet kiss,
and feeling your lips touching mine.
I have never known desire like this,
so raw, so deep, so divine.

I miss your fingers, how they would tease,
and your strong arms, holding me tight.
I miss how you always aimed to please
on those many 'a sleepless night.

I miss how your eyes touched my soul,
how your smile melted my heart.
Without you, dear, I'm half of a whole,
and inside, I'm falling apart.

I miss the smell, so uniquely your own
that is now just a faded memory.
I miss the affection that once was shown,
I miss loving you, loving me.

I miss hearing your voice speak my name,
and the soothing, comfort it brought.
I wonder....sometimes, do you feel the same?
Or am I just a passing thought?

I miss what was my very best friend,
my partner in crime & lover, too.
And although our story has come to an end,
I can't help but still miss you...

Another oldie, but I've always really liked it. Hopefully you did too!

What if I 
were to confess my love? 
How I believe 
you were sent from above... 
How I long 
to see your perfect face... 
How I ache 
to feel your warm embrace... 
How I melt 
when I feel your touch... 
How I hurt 
when I miss you so much? 
What if I 
were to tell you such things?
Would you be overcome 
by the joy it brings? 
Would you then confess 
you love me too, 
finally admitting 
what your heart always knew? 
Or would you laugh 
and throw it in my face, 
thinking it funny 
as I cry in disgrace? 
What if I 
kept it all locked inside, 
never to reveal 
my love, denied....?

This is an old one that came to me one day in the shower...lol
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