Shots
fired
armor donned
shielding the softness
displayed so openly
in the springtime haze
of youth
fear chokes trust
persuades us
that everyone
is hiding a knife up their sleeve
we package up our vulnerability
wrap our heart in bubble wrap
expecting each wound
to bleed a little less
but healing is impossible
in the absence
of oxygen.

Esther L. Krenzin.

I inhale absence
I'm slowly dying from all the nothing I inhale
The lack of your hand in mine, it's killing me
I lie in fetal helplessness
Caving in on myself, becoming smaller
Becoming absence

The piercing sound of
your silence pains me

I wish to hear you speak
for as long as I live

let go of dreams that aren’t serving you
let go of dreams that will never come true
you’re still sitting sobbing in your room to songs you were crying to at 14
and what the **** is growth anyway?
doesn’t pain throb the same at any age?
why hang on to possibilities when the potentiality of everything is right there in front of you?
shut up, you stupid *****: you’re brilliant
I love you
I will keep on loving you until you figure out what’s going on here
who you are
is not all you will be
and I love you
you’re mine
what else could I do?

I've been fighting with temptation in everyday that I'm
faced with
Resetting my mind
all of my hopes and my dreams
onto the re-placement
Of every loss
And the suicidal thoughts of me
Losing  Control
Still engaged in my mind I'm inclined
while,
Maintaining the goal
of walking down that straight and
narrow road  of Life
Because I have a date with Destiny in spite of what is ailing me in
Sight
While all the while?
Through the dark of night
I'm forced to fight with many
different things,
With no self-esteem trying to figure out
who to believe
And who to trust and on whom
can I call?
Soul is uncontent to balance the fence
Slowly committed to fall
All while seeing the steady fall
Of my many brethrens called
For the same purpose and the work that was meant for us all
But still my soul fell slowly down
De-pression's Well
Totally left to figure out how to
make it out
Wondering how I slipped and fell?
Fallen waist deep
Lost
within the clutches grief
With seemingly no way of me finding
an answer,
And no way of me holding my Peace
So as a means of release?
I'm now speaking my Peace
Releasing for this reason having the
means of picking up the
Spiritual  Pieces
And putting it all back together using it for what it's worth
Visualizing the Holy theme giving birth to revive my Hopes and
Dreams
But these dreams are not seen through the eyes of surprise
But only seen through the joyfulness of watching our spirits
Rise
Riiising out of the ashes where the
fearfulness is cruel and savage,
Out of the madness where the hopelessness is the rule of sadness
Escaping the Pain
No longer bond under heavy
Locks and Chains
No more wounds to be healed
No wounds to seal
No bandages with
-Stains-