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jade 5d
my love for you will be the death of me

it fills me up, fills up every millimeter of empty space in my body
it moves my organs around to make room
it engulfs me, and swallows me whole
every moment i'm awake feels like i'm drowning in it

it travels up my body, up to my throat
every moment i'm awake feels like i'm suffocating on it
at night i wake up thrashing, grasping at my throat, begging to be allowed room for air

it travels up my body, up to my head
every moment i'm awake feels like i spend it thinking about you
you take control of my thoughts, my feelings
you're like a parasite i can't get rid of

my love for you will be the death of me.
thank you for reading
Jeremy Betts Jan 28
Love and hate
Both require devotion, more than enough to challenge fate
Both known to be used as a powerful bait
The realization of either can often land a dollar short or a day late
Both can rear their ugly heads at first sight, on the first date
What one is the strongest trait?
Disney shows one over the other but if you were to look into it further you might see the actual history reveals it's no checkmate
What one will ruin your life faster is up for debate
Obviously not a hot take
Show me someone saying only one of 'em can make your life great
And I'll direct you straight to a liar just trying to narrate some amateur bs to placate
To hide the primate, trying illustrate the opposite of it's namesake
Investing in either one, one over the other puts a lot at stake
And don't be fooled
Both love and hate will walk hand in hand with you to heartache
I can't sit here and say I hate to love nor do I love to hate
Just forced to live the second half with no heart to break
The phrase make it or break it plays seconds before I notice I broke what I made...
...once again...
...for fu©ks sake

©2024
undefined Jan 26
I miss her
like ink misses the page
when i can't seem to think
of the right words to say .

I love her like the heavens,
and to the moon I pray,
the only wish I ever have,
that every shooting star could stay .

If there is a god of love,
how could one create
this old heart of mine
just to feel it break

...
.. going to keep working on this I think. I like one or two lines in there.
Jeremy Betts Jan 22
You've lied TO me over and over, which is fine, I've been lied to before
I've watched my heart walk out the door as I picked my life up off the floor
Left wondering how many times I can get back up, finding it's always one more
That's how I move forward, I pay no mind to the score

This time you lied ABOUT me as you threw objects and punches, screaming like a banshee
I stood and absorbed it all, as I always have, asking how it is that you say you're afraid of me
I ask you to look me directly in the eyes and say it again one time, then two, then three
Then came the blow that hurt the worst
Looking past the crazy there was no fear, you were just angry

...now I'm scared for me...

©2024
As a man I don't even feel comfortable writing this much less posting it. Men are on the receiving side of abuse often and say nothing. The fear of being accused of domestic violence while being completely innocent and realizing she's willing to accuse you knowing you're innocent (and let's not forget that she's the one throwing objects and punches that land and leave marks while I've never raised a finger against her, not even to stop the assault on me) scares the hell out of me in all honesty...
James Rives Jan 20
poetry is bloodletting
for my aching hands,
brain, heart, soul, whatever.
in maroon, I see a *****,
disconnected features, details,
themes, emotion.
all useless without the right vessel.
the pages may get stained
but the Rorschach means nothing
without rhythm and image and heat
and light.
i deserved it
Jan Jan 17
I think I understand hookups and one-night stands now.
The key to moving on is to replace until there's nothing to unravel upon.

I mean, It's fair.
I do it too.
Moment by moment,
conversation by conversation,  
I replace the replays,
and that is about as far as I'll go.
I can't bear the thought
of another touching me, like I'm not yours.

I got another ring today,
All big and loose.
Funny how I picked this one,
it keeps falling out.

It's been two months since I stopped wearing yours,
I honestly don't see a difference in the way it fits on my thumb.
That should be the end of it, but oh well, I guess it isn't.

I walked to the grocery store, paused at an aisle,
took my time frowning over chocolate bars.
You used to get me Munch, so I picked the KitKat.

I don't skip meals now, (well, most days I don't)
and in place of our routine conversations, I let a random show run in the background.

I drown noise with noise.

My days are decent.
I'm surrounded by mindless jibber jabber.
I participate.
I paste a bright smile.

“You look well now,” they say, “Well I am” I reply.

And as a matter of fact, I am fine.
9/10 times I am.

Then in a random mundane moment, memories of you resurface like a ring light and
in that single moment,
I let myself crumble.

“I don't want him back.
He isn't the same person anymore.
I'm not even me anymore.

If it's meant to be, it'll be.
He's the love of my life.
Well don't let him in,
when (not if) he comes back.

Do it from love, not for it.
You deserve happiness.
Both of you do.

You want love.
You are love.
The ocean doesn't look for its water,
Why will you look for what you have?

It is what it is.
and this too shall pass.”

So on and so forth my inner monologue goes,
and I stare at my phone wondering if I can conjure you from my thoughts.

I am kinder now. With myself, and everyone around.
I know you're proud,
and I kind of wish you'd say it to loud.

Can I possibly wrung out my favourite version of you, this time?

My thoughts swirl and I let them play.
Incantations in my head
Obligatory 3 am, weary sighs, contempt and pure rage.

Where is the calming lull of sleep, when you really need it to sedate your despair?

Resignation sets in, I play a familiar game.
I ask the universe and unbiasedly it delivers the same day.

"Universe, give me a sign, I'm really done this time.
Yellow flowers if he's coming back,
Dandelions if he's not.
Universe let me move on. This is the last time, "

In my version of He loves me, he loves me not
I break flowers, not petals.
I look for answers in colours and not action.
Hi, I hope your well. Know that I'm extremely proud of you and you're in my thoughts.
All my love to you,
~Jan
Eslam Dabank Jan 10
Forcefully, feed me this love.

No. No need to ask about my consent,
my mood,
whether I'm fine with tasting this reconnection,
whether I desire my suffering to be sweet,
salty, bitter, repulsive;
It is the love that no lover is fed into by choice.

So, ravage my core with your cruelty,
I am content; fleeing holds no allure;
Rip into my bone cage until rats seek refuge within;
until they are disheartened by rain seeping through;
Like was I.

The patient is not faulted for their ailment,
even if they induce it intentionally,
and even then, it is understandable;
For this love acts as both affliction and antidote.

It is a certain drowning, Tick Tock;
I repel rescue; no one need attempt it now;
In the days to come, no one shall be blamed for this choice.

Take me eastward until we reach the west;
There, the sun feels icy;
the breeze, refreshing;
Transport me far beyond the confines of yearning,
The confusion of longing;
Let me encounter your childhood, your aged self, and youth;
Let my wrinkles serve as your rollercoaster;
I'll bear your weight as you frolic;
And there you are; simply laughing.

Incinerate, burn, lose all our maps;
so thoughts of return dare not surface;
until regret looms, yet repentance remains elusive.

We're distanced;
and in this, lies a joy hidden from the eyes of owls;
Beyond the raucous cawing of crows;

Say that I snore;
then depart,
And leave me to harvest wheat from those hills.
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