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Stu 7d
Who do you call when your brain is on fire?
When sunshine strips
begin to fade from the bed sheets,
And you find, yet again,
That you've allowed a days worth of stability
To deconstruct itself.
For a while, a silhouette you will remain,
Chasing the origin of light,
Only to fall into the one thing blocking it.

What happens when a brain is burnt out?
Drawing out breaths that latch to the cold air,
When you stand with weary muscles,
A title wrapped around your forehead,
And a frustration festering.
Holding close to the last remaining memories,
Of security, of solidarity, of purity.
Losing yourself to yourself,
Costs less and less each time.

When do you decide a brain needs fixing?
When the ride home is full of regret,
And you're legs cannot stop shaking.
A miserable night will be swept under the rug,
So dogear the scripture you spoke belligerently,
And the world will suddenly seem small.
A breakdown happens when most needed.
A breakthrough happens when least expected.

How do you fix a brain?
Probably, the day without questioning it all,
Will be the day you figure the most out.
If we can get a mixed up mind to settle,
Then the first thing to learn would
Be the acknowledgment of a new, better life.
We will all survive our demanding brains,
if only someone will show us the way,
Will someone please show us the way,
Before another brain is reignited?
For an old friend.
kmr Feb 4
My entire life,
I have been waiting.
For years,
Almost two decades now
I have been waiting.
Waiting,
For the better parts.
Waiting,
For the “soon”.
Waiting,
For my life to begin.
Because,
I don’t feel like I have lived.
In the nearly twenty years
I have been alive
And breathing
I do not feel
In any of those years
That I have been alive.
I don’t feel like a single breath
That I have taken
Has been real.
I feel as if
All these years
I’ve been stuck
Behind a window
Watching as my life unfolds
Before me.
I feel that
I have had
Zero control.
That I am in the backseat
Letting someone else drive.
That someone else,
Is writing on the pages
Of MY life.
But no more.
I will break that window,
I will take that wheel,
And I will write
My own pages.
My life has begun,
And now -
I’m in control.
Stu Jan 23
In translucent hands
he reads a scripture belonging only to him,
and from memory, he'll rebuild his own illumination.
I feel my bones growing! I feel the warm sun! I am finally satisfied with my own reflection!
Elizabeth Jan 21
Ever time you lied your eyes changed colors.
The time you said you were fine
they were a sea green.
The time you said you would be there
they were blue with golden specks.
The time you made a promise
they were glowing emerald green.
The time you said you loved me
they were as blue as the sky.

Your lies had led me into believing
in you,
in hope,
in love.
When all you truly did
was feed me to the demons in your heart.

The demons laugh saying
"you fell for every lie he told,
did you not see?
did you not catch the change in his eyes?
from sea green
to blue with golden specks.
From glowing emerald green eyes
to the ones as blue as a summer sky."

The difference from then and now.
I can see through your lies.
I can heal my demons by beating yours.
I can be strong within and out.
You aren't holding the chains wrapped around my heart anymore.
I am.
This poem is about a real occurrence but it is not meant to be upsetting. I am showing that you can move on even if this is painful. This is my first posted poem. Thank you for taking the time to read and enjoy.
I remember, walking the earth as a mortal,
Indulging in the mortal path, laughing, crying, loving,hate,jealousy,happiness, sadness,
I was cultivating  the Buddha arts,
In order to understand evil, you must the devil,
To understand good, you must be the angel,
Are we really born evil? Are we really born good?
What is good?
What is bad?
Is taking a life to save a life considered evil?
Why do we exist? What is our purpose?
Is it to get fame? Wealth?
What is happiness?
Is a glass half full or half empty?
How does yin and yang balance?
survival is our default setting,
And Greed is also our major flaw.
Sigh,
Mortality.
Prequel to breakthrough
Sigh,
How long has it been?
One? Two? Or maybe 300 moons,
The change in me remains unseen,
My strength has been given a boon,
Now i am a soaring dragon,
The heavens cannot restrict me no longer,
I disdain for they are not high enough,
The earth cannot bind me,
I sneer for it is beneath me.

Time has no grasp on my soul,
No control on my mind,
I have shed the shackles of mortality,
I walk in tandem with the heavenly Dao,
For i have grasped its music, every note and stanza.
I prepare to ascend the immortal realms,
I see past all illusions, all deceptions
I see all truths, all lies
I am the Dao.
JoJo Dec 2018
You taught me to dance in the storm
even when I couldn’t feel sunshine approaching
and in the chaos of my heart,
You calmed the waves within.
and I kept dancing wildly with You beside me.
A little hope for those who are scared to take that first step. Just trust.
Stu Dec 2018
For the truth, I've cut my ties with the collective

I find no relevance in this world

I am a mere onlooker, a silent seeker

Conforming myself to the likes of an outcast

Without any regret, however, I find support in my mind,

In a clairvoyant entity I have only surmised,

And a place I can only envision; the one in the sky

My soul belongs to something greater, but elsewhere

I intend to find my purpose, for the truth is all I need

However, as triumphant as an ultimate answer may be,

The world during the course of a search for meaning,

Is chilled and repetitive, constantly threatening sanity.
I have so much to be grateful for,
So many people I love and who (hopefully) love me,
But in all of the sunshine surrounding me,
I have never felt so alone in my entire life thus far.
Stu Nov 2018
We are all allowed a small sprinkling of sincerity when brought into this world
A gift that many of us fail to see or lose once we have
This is a truth that I have been referred to by my never-ending endeavor
One I wish I had known my entire life and now will never let go
One I will forever fail to let go
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