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Recovery sort of feels like
You're carrying a heavy backpack
Through an unforgiving snowstorm
You try to fight your way through
Just to reach your destination
Each step further, no matter how slow
Is still a step forward
Though, there are times you're exhausted
So you stop and rest for awhile
You stop but the storm doesn't
You freeze and then feel numb
If you sit too long you'll die
You just have to keep going
Even if the journey constantly feels like
You are walking towards you're death
Staying in the same spot will too
The only difference is
You have the chance to choose
You have the choice to change
You're more likely to live
When you don't stay the same
Jayde Jan 11
When you see me you would think i had the weight of the world on my shoulders
I look burdened
Weighed down
Each step taken is a struggle
Every movement heavy
Heavy
That's how my body feels
It feels like weights are on my shoulders
It feels like sandbags are tied to my waist
It feels like my shoes are weighed down by bricks
Heavy
My body is so heavy
All my effort
All my energy
Goes into putting one foot in front of another
The corner of my lips feels like it has barbells at the end
It's a chore to smile
Cheeks are sore from the strain
Every muscle is protesting
Why must i drag my weighed down body out into the world
Each finger has a weight
Every motion is weighed down
If you looked at me with xray goggles you'd see all the weight i carry
Each weight has a label
Each weight represents a pain
Each weight has something from the past, present, or future
When people say baggage they think of me
All this baggage
All these burdens
All this weight
Heavy
I'm so heavy
How does one lighten the load
My back is crippled
My knees are buckling
My ankles are shaking
My head is a bowling ball
But i smile
I smile and try to make it through another day
I count the hours minutes seconds until I'm back in bed
Back in bed hidden from the world
Back in bed where my battered and bruised body can rest
Back in bed stripped down and exhausted
Because every day is a chore
All my energy is used getting out of bed
All my focus is used to make myself work
All my effort is used to put one foot in front of another
All my sanity is used trying to not let others see
Its almost impossible having a conversation
How does one speak when they can barely function
How can one speak when using all their strength just to stand
How can one speak when all they want to do is scream
Every day is the same thing
An endless cycle
It will never end
Get up
Smile
Stumble
Survive
indigochild Dec 2018
today my mom asked “how many people hurt you to act like this?”

so as I let myself fall for you, know…

i’m weaker than i seem, but for you i will hold steady
fragile to the touch, but for you i will stay strong

have been played like a deck of cards, but for you i will play my hand
too many broken promises, but for you i will create new ones

come from a broken home, but for you i will build love
carry a lot of baggage, but for you i will no longer burden

                                                         ­                                                      i won’t
                                                                ­                                              tell you
                                                                ­                                      this because
                                                                ­                                          i’m afraid
                                                          ­                                                   i’ll scare
                                                                ­                                          you away

you are right, i need to stop apologizing for the actions of others and how they have left me raw
no more punishing myself as the result of the uncontrollable

my walls are pretty high, and i want to break them for you

let me come undone under your touch
let me unzip all that is me

let me feel all that is you

                               ...i want to be with you, but please know this is hard
a not so poem, poem
not my greatest, but it is what i am feeling
Star BG Dec 2018
I have come into life
carrying baggage from other lifetimes.
Slowly I filled luggage
with new experiences that now become like old clothes.

I come to stand tall at clock of 66 years
to purge that which is heavy on heart.
Absolve that which doesn't serve the divine being I am.

My cloths now are infused with threads of light and love.
My garments are now colorful and velvet soft to breath.  

My bag is now emptied, ready to fill with tapestries of smiles
and warm memories.
just thinking about all the baggage I have carried and still do. But I am working on it.
Temporal Fugue Dec 2018
I buried it deep
I buried it far
no easy trip by train
or by car

It won't be exhumed
it can't really be traced
no markers seen
completely erased

I'll carry the scar
celebrate if I dare
making it through
somehow and somewhere

My baggage my own
layered deeper than ****
a depth so unknown
the darkest of wells

No, my love
I'll not venture the seals
or question the locks
proposing appeals

Some things are better
not disturbed or aroused
for memories played
in silence
espoused
There are things never spoken of too anyone ever, for everyone.
Dani Oct 2018
Oh my sweet demon how I adore you so
We have ridden together many years
Your whispers comfort me when I’m low
You create and extinguish all my fears

You bring me the anxiety that’s grown closely
To my racing heart and dark mind
You bring me the shadows I love so dearly
Why do you have to be so sweet and kind?

I have grown up with you by my side
At first my enemy now ...  best friend
My heart is dark from where you reside
Leave! I ask, but this rule you will not bend

My sweet demon you are in my head
Taunting me and speaking sweet terrors
I cannot **** you for you sleep in my bed
You live in me because of all my errors

Demon, you bring familiarity in the night
The shadows that follow us I know too well
They are our friends too, of that I’m right
Spinning me forever, a never ending carousel
We all have our demons, those things we call baggage, or flaws. We carry them, we hold them, we fight them. Yet, they never truly leave us do they? They taunt us for all our lives.
Amanda Sep 2018
Carrying a thousand mistakes in my arms
Thoughts weighed down by words and worry
In my mind rolling back and forth
Judgement making vision blurry

Surrounding area fades into the background
I watch anything but you
We each play with the other's feelings
A foolish game we both are used to

All my stress becomes complicated
Stretch my patience until barely there
Give myself another headache
Wasting peace on you, I stare

Friend? Foe? Not sure anymore
In your eyes darkness is rising
Love you no matter what shape you form
Any secret identity you may be disguising

I take your hidden baggage
All that I will never see
Welcome confidential cargo onboard
I will accept you for you if you accept me for me
I'll take you for who you are if you take me for everything
Andres Martinez Aug 2018
She wanted to be loved
but not in a total fairytale type of way, just wanted someone to understand that she was damaged
and still needed love
like everyone .
She would give her all for the one she
loves
Passionate and crass was her way .
A queen in ever aspect of her personality.
Salmabanu Hatim Aug 2018
In our time we lived together,
An extended family with love forever,
Grandparents,uncles,aunts and cousins, me and you,
We learned to bond,respect the elders too.
Not the parents but the whole family cared for your upbringing,
No hassles,  everyone intermingled lovingly.
Then families separated,one son remained in the main house with parents,
The parents were highly respected and looked up to,
They were counsellors and advisors too.
But, in these modern times of high tech and working wives the whole scenario  has changed,
Wife is busy earning money,
extra baggage (parents) she cannot manage,
Send them off  to old people's homes,
Who cares for the old bums.
Our parents together our children were our priority,
Our children have forgotten their responsibility.
Wives run the home, have the last say,
Everybody grows old, soon it will be their day,
Extra baggage,
Learn to manage.
Children find it tough to care for their parents. Grandchildren learn respect,humility love from them.They learn to have relationship.whilst parents work,somebody is at home with them.
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