I have masks for every feeling

They often save me from reeling

.

I must have done some wrong

Don’t know for how long i could be strong

I thought I cherished all I had

But I realise now that it was my bad

I was holding maybe too tight

Strangling, what I cared, with no respite

I have learned to pull back now

Hiding, what I used to share, anyhow

Now, I have masks for every feeling

They often save me fron reeling

.

I am lying here, crying under the moonlight

The lost moments find it easy to alight

I wish the sleep would come

the endless thoughts make me numb

What if I had done it differently

I might not have run into regret incidentally

I am counting the mistakes I made somehow

Maybe I am not guilty but they hurt anyhow

So, I have masks for every feeling

They often save me from reeling

.

I am not hiding under the plain sight

Still sometimes, I make the mistake, in spite

It’s a mistake to show your all

Nobody gives a **** in long haul

So I have started using these masks

Which makes hiding a less daunting task

I am now unlike the old me

Who used to let her feelings run free

That’s why, I have masks for every feeling

They often save me from reeling

.

I am lying here, hiding under the moonlight

Burying the moments that wish to alight

Sometimes the old me, still runs wild

Crumbling the walls I so carefully compiled

I often let her do as she wishes

then see her tumble down into pieces

I have seen her hope crush a million times

falling down after a hopeful climb

It’s the reason, I have masks for every feeling

They often save me from reeling

.

The biggest smile
Is the biggest wall
Built to hide
That is all
Darkness swirling
Deep in their skull
Monster whirling
Threwout that dull
Space where there used to be
A genuine smile
That made people happy to see
But now that space is all black
That smile is a mask
One that makes the owner turn back
To see what they used to be
And be sad to think
They'll never go and return
To that old happy smile
That could burn
A spark of happiness in everyone's face

But now they need that happiness
To help them chase
The monster thats creeping
Out of their house
To help get it out
To help round it about
To remove it from their old happy place
Where now they feel scared
Threatened,and wasted

Pay attention to those
Whose attention is drawn
To the big happy smile
That may be a mask thrown on

I started drinking
again
it burns the throat
but it puts
fires out
the type that boil
deep inside
belied
by the smile I make.
it's there
oh it's there
I assure you
it's contained, maintained
stains my skin
reddish tints
seep out sometimes.
but it's okay
I beat myself til it's gone
and a new day
dawns
I'll drink again

I am here
But I am not
My limbs are
My heart beats
But where am I?
I want peace,
Until then I hide.
Waiting for silence
Waiting to thrive.
Glimmers of light shine
And remind me to be patient
But I hear the clock ticking
Telling me not to waste it
Telling me this is not where I
Am meant to be.
My heart skips beats
As I anticipate my next demand,
Pulling me apart as I say yes
To everyone
Everything,
But myself.
I want peace.
I want silence.
I want time
For me
To thrive.
Until then,
I hide.

Hiding emotionally,
physically avoiding,
and verbally masking by lies.

We pretend that we are alright,
turning it all invisible
In the eyes of one other,  
so that we don’t let the worry flow,
so that we don’t let the disappointment brew.
But it flows into the ears of others.

Leaning on their shoulders for comfort,
where comfortability now thrives.
We now look in the eyes
of one another
with body containing secrets,
pretending to be alright
and happy.

I guess,
that’s where the trust started to wither
and comfortability started to fade,
for we found comfort on others shoulders.