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Kenji Sep 19
My life is private, my secrets drenching in hopeless fear.
I express out loud, longing for admiration.
Yet, I hold everything in, saying nothing, no word my tongue could ever expose.
Fake friends, liars, backstabbers...
They only miss me once I’m gone.
I left, secretly disappeared without a knowledge to anyone.

But once they know I’m gone, is when they start to miss me.
I’ve moved on, left the city and started new in a different one.
I left like the wind with a cold dryness in the air.
Unspeakable, they only coming back cuz they know I’m not around.

Incomplete, I’ve learnt to never trust anyone ever again.
Deep thoughts hit and I know what’s going to happen before it does.
Caused by experience, pain, loss, and abuse.
I avoid it all, and seclude myself in my mysterious fantasies that will never come to my reality.
I live life in despair, knowing that I’m the curse, the darkness itself.
I’m the person who’s devil you speak the name of.
I’m your nightmares in your lost daydreams.

Too much intensity, I may be trouble.
But my deceiving nature has you thinking otherwise... doesn’t it?

Maybe it’s just thoughts of people talking about me constantly, even though it’s not real.
Nothing is.
My illusion is my nightmare and my delusions is my reality.
Im never going back.
They probably never going to see me ever again, but I guess it’s satisfying to make them think otherwise.
To make them think that I still love them and we probably still friends.
But when I was around, where were they without my effort?

Without my effort, everything is at loss.
I prefer to label these people as my aquaintances.
Calling them my friends is just a facade to cover up my intense loneliness caused by my experienced deep ridden trust issues.

I have no friends.
I like it that way.
I stay detached cuz people are worthless to me.
I like being alone, it’s my new cure.
With my seclusion, I am nothing more to be.

If I call you my friend, please don’t get confused when I ghost you and never actually talk to you, but I end up coming back few months later saying how much I miss you and love you.

Don’t we all do that?
This darkness of truth and lies all hidden inside of us.

Disappearance, keep your distance.
My Gemini and Scorpio placements playing games in my mind
M Cannon Aug 29
She’s happy.

Her eyes are as bright as
Sunrise on the morning dew so
You can’t see the sorrow
They hide.

Her voice is as gentle as
A new mother’s careful touch so
You can’t hear the pain
She cries at night.

Her heart is as generous as
A dying man’s final wish so
You can’t tell it’s hand stitched back together
With threads of disappointment.

She’s happy...
But only so you can’t see
That all she really is
Is numb.
Ashaar Aug 24
at times the sky
takes the form
of an altruistic playmate
but when I look up toward it,
it shatters down
like a dissembled wall
and the black moths
I'd once let it swallow,
r e t u r n
and fly back into my ribs
to be caged again
I am new to this site (:
Kush Jul 13
This palace is grand.

Roses lined the roads that entered,
And a crisp green carpeted the plains that lay beside.

The marble columns rose to the sky,
Their sharp white sending glimmers into the distance.

Warmth filled the rooms,
As too did the scent of Maplewood crackling within the fireplace.

Mould grew spotilly on the ceiling above,
It complimented the flaking metal of the bedframe.
A hole in the ceiling dribbled water onto the damp pillow.

This palace is grand.
Some days I feel like a Facade. Not a real person going through the day but a wall that was built to be the separation of the two things.

I don’t know what this wall is protecting or what lies the Facade is even telling. It all feels like I am not a person of true substance, just something waiting to reveal itself.

Hopefully it’s good.
jasmine wild Jul 2
i wish i could make you listen
for once just understand
don't always expect me to be caught up in my own facade
when i tell you there's a problem, believe me
don't ignore it because it's easier for you and you can

please can you hear me
your disregard pulls me in deeper,
further burying my secrets,
forever hiding my sin
of self-loathing,
turning it into inflation
Celine Ngo Jun 27
"i wish i could have your brain"
"let's trade minds for a day"
"it must be easy being you"
are so ******* triggering
cause you have no idea what it's like
to be me, to be a prisoner of my own mind
to be drowning in a whirlpool of darkness
to be so full of self hatred and insecurity
dec 2017
Distinct shades of hues — stood the same
as the pitch-black dusk
takes place into the steel cage,
it dooms her life — a tale of desolation.

A series of the cynic
seeking through — peeking eyes
hushed lips,
here comes despair.

Painted words
by her — another form of scars
wrestled and won
of newness
and fondness
of her secrets
and her sins — are like faces
from a covered haze.

Shredded reputation — stop!
“It will never settle.”
She will strike once again
her vulnerability — remains concealed:
it must preserve her.

“It will never end.”
As she sips from the twists of her
though she buries
her facade.

“End her.”
Hailed by her,
while she seeks for
another shade of colors — thus lead her
of another yet
the flicker of the sun.

“It will work out, I believe so.”
cynical moments made in 3a.m.
Life has unexpected turns, truly anything can happen. It is not over until you can be happy.
There is not a guideline for happiness that you can find online. You must find it in your world. A world perceived and made by you, a world that is hidden.
The facade must be taken down, or you will lose yourself in a world of standards. You can not find happiness in someone's world, you cannot find it in science or religion.
But the world you plan, construct, and live in.
This world will have happiness, peace, and above all Love that will never die.
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