A life stuck at 7PM
The clock on the wall never moves
And the second hand never shifts –
Nothing to win, nothing to lose.
See the sky slowly growing dark.
The in-between time, before sleep,
Nothing is right or even wrong –
A place where I don’t want to be.
Perfect dusk with reluctant clouds;
The sun has gone to bed alone
While my head is clouded with doubts
I lie there – silent – on my own.
Waiting is the hardest part tonight:
In between breaths I wait for sleep,
Dreaming of all the things undone –
Losing pieces while losing me.
Silent rain creeps down my window
To whisper: “I will find you soon”
I turn, not wanting to feel,
Look away to implore the moon.
I search for answers in the dark,
But all I find is silence.
Seconds stretch to days behind me;
All that mattered was in past tense...
They press harder against my ears:
Screaming, screaming, screaming loud
They compete – all my secret fears
If I can’t breathe, I’ll surely drown.
There is no peace for me because
They refuse to keep their silence –
Whispers morph into demons, and
Demons are replaced with giants.
I surrender, the same refrain,
A question, always tireless:
Tell me what tomorrow will bring;
For mine endless night is timeless.
written around the time of high school graduation