The silent scream
of a broken heart
as it gasps for air
in a violent stream
of dreams and despair.

Our painful past
on a gloomy night.
The gush of remorse,
a gentle stab
which pains the most.

A tangled mess
beneath the
the veil of happiness,
seeking her way
to a life that's gay.

Scars from the past
once wounds we
caressed.
Memoirs that stayed
unlike the roses
which withered.

Ours was not love,
love.
But a toxic wreck.
A glorious dismay
of two lives that
went astray.

I love the way
You kiss my lips
How you press your hands
Upon my cheek


It's so toxic
You leave me wondering
Why do I love lust?

your demons still haunt me,
they show up in my sleep

they creep into my mind at night,
coming to remind me of your existence

you send them, so you can still possess a side of me

they replay all the **** you did to me,

they whisper (laugh),
“you can never get rid of me darling”

you truly are the devil, aren’t you?

beads of salt and sweat edge
the Cuban sandwich zest from
the tip of my tongue
flavors of my own theme song
echo in my throat

I'm merry ******* footfalls
on hot concrete snares
and the groans swinging
between my thighs take lead
singing cat whistles
along Main Street

snakes will be snakes
and tight cotton shirts
is asking for venom vial shots

don't worry though
those are my brother's loosened trousers
I'm a sweet gardener
I hold doors open
and voted for Hillary
I'm blinding reflection
standing over the hill

but don't shake my thoughts
with your pepper singed howls
cleaning you up messes my stride
dress like a lady and
monsters look for prettier things

oil stains dripping through
the elbows of my shirt
writes working man sonnets
across noir alley doorways
named Touch But Don't Tell

keep quite and use the suggestion box
and don't blame me for chromosomes
genetic randomness isn't my fault
biochemical cocktails don't drown babies
you just fill your bathtub with them

why do you need life jackets
to fill my shirts
empty your oil can and get a promotion
so you can buy your own

I'm tattered sheets stuffed
over hotel window rails
you're a frail damsel selling dreams
I won't buy, I peep keyholes
save digital copies and call the cops
stop screaming and let me save you

your fingers compress a sweaty glock
rioting my stomach
your tones too ******* loud
remember I loaded the bullets
so at least credit me the shot

beads of blood and sweat
whisper cat o' nines tails
see I'm your martyr
but only on favor street.

since you don't know me
here's something to help

I leave wood splinters in my hands
so I can brag about not crying
when I clench my first

manly, yes I know
because you told me

the scales slithering
through my spinal cord
tell me many things

like when you
bit my long hair
and said it was gay

I spent years dislodging your teeth
but I think I learned my lesson

build cradles from rusted nails
sew them to your skin
so you never have to leave

I forgot the next lesson though
and was caught swallowing pencil shavings

sneers rattle from the tail in my ribcage
hissing that I'm too skinny to be a boy
the jokes hard to get at first
so I l graffitied the punchline on my mirror

my heartchambers gasping for breath
is the sound they make from
draining blood for gun powder

a strong proverb really
I'm glad I learned how
to blow up ghost sailing to my head

now my shadow walks to the store for me
because
I'm still learning how to crawl on my belly

My waist did not
Bend the way he liked,
My tears were too loud
My mind too bright.
I am sorry.

He had to come home
Every night
He couldn't jump in on
Every fight.
I am sorry.

I had too many friends
That left crazy ideas
in my useless head.
I am sorry.

I said no too many times,
I thought I had rights
Against these crimes.
I am sorry.

I no longer startle
In the middle of the night,
Feel like my skin
Has been set alight.

I no longer pause
Before every single smile,
Finding my light
Has taken a while.

I no longer fear
That the sky starts to fall,
crushing me under,
Forced to the wall.

I no longer let
Others to decide
What is my story
And what parts should I hide.

I am no longer kind
To people who might
Turn around and judge
How I live my fight.

I am no longer patient  
When I am rushed to move along
It taken me months
To feel again this strong.

You are not like the rain
You never teased my skin
Planting ideas in my head
That grew roots in my heart
The acid Dripping from your tongue,
You burnt me.

The storm raged

The waters haven't calmed since.
I felt love, I Feel love, I bleed hurt
And long for a tsunami
To sweep me from this nightmare.
Come back
Break my skin
Please
Show me what it feels like to love again.
Let me dance in the toxicity
And bathe in the poison
Your scent
Your fumes
Paint
Dirt
Home
A fresh rain falls
I'm drawn back in

Let me drown