you say that the zodiac means nothing, but you have not seen the toxinity of two star signs that should have never collided.
a toxic relationship. it begins with their happiness depending on you. your smile fueling their existance into the night and hopes of seeing it in the morning. their aura consisting of depths of neverending black, you drown myself in. their black swepted hair matching perfectly with their blues eyes of sadness. it continues with your sadness matching yours, two people barely hanging on to the world. you find yourself wondering why you are wasting your time with a 12% chance.
something different
i called him sweet
for nectar dripped from his lips
and a pink tint stained his cheeks
looking away at every compliment made
he always knew what to say
dipping every word in honey
he was sweet
he had a sugar coated smile
but the aftertaste was not worth one's while
i was madly in love with him
and the twilight that danced in his eyes
his laughter contagious
and his body pure art
he shined so brightly
even in the dark
he was everything to me
i loved him
with my entire heart
and sometimes,
he loved me too
Darn near choked on my laughter.
I mean, I darn near died from the comedy.

It wasn't a joke, but I was still vomiting, it held no reality
But I spared no brutality.

In actuality I've Been self actualised.
I need no figure to show me I've been tranquilised.
Took such time before I realised.

I've been dead & reanimated,
Zombie flesh decimated,
All my values antiquated,
Leaves my mind devastated.
Harry Roberts - Antiquated © 12/07/18
He says                          
I'm too sensitive
I want him        
OUT.
Deep into our relationship, I finally see, he doesn't respect me. He dismisses me. And now he can leave.
He grabbed my neck
I said
'Don't grab my neck'
It's disgusting.
"But I'm not squeazing it"
'But I DONT like it.'

He
keeps
grabbing
my neck.
I think
When he leaves
My self-care will make me un.stoppable.

I think
When he leaves
I will fill my OWN needs.
I am here for me.

I think
When he leaves
I don’t want to hear anymore
Bike
Lingo
For a while.
I don’t want to hear
Every
Detail
Of montreal
Of literally anything anyone says /ever/
Compared to ~new orleans~
To
‘One of [his] friends’
Who has the sweetest gig
Life
Hobby.

I think when he leaves
I will still love him
The way I love beautiful people
Even if his ignorance..
Immaturity?
Self-interest?
Makes his language
Attitude
Reactions
T o x i c  to  me.

I put so much
Into my contentedness
With life
My life
And i need to be recognized for these efforts
I need to be SEEN
To be HEARD
To be respected for the depth of my being and not my #skillz on a skateboard
Or my patience for bike #factz and stories.

Fucking respect me with tenderness or I am
Out
The
Door

No matter how perfect I thought you were.
I wish he was capable... Of loving me with the same respect I pour into him. But he is DENSE. Because he says he cares, but he cannot see himself. Or me. How did I end up with a man so self-involved and blind.
Bruised knuckles and shaking fingers,
These will always remind me of him,
Of a boy that I can no longer claim to know.

Bruised knuckles and shaking fingers,
I always hated the fact that his hands
looked looked how I felt.

Bruised knuckles and shaking fingers,
the sign that I hadn't got there in time,
I hadn't stepped between him and the wall,
the wall that he so desperately want to crash against.

Bruised knuckles and shaking fingers,
it always ended this way;
the feeling still lingers.
I started writing a poem about her
And the beginning sounded like ours
The one where I told you that
Words aren't enough to define us
And yes words are limiting
But
They also have a way of telling you more
If you pay close enough attention
When "I love you endlessly"
Turns to "ILY" and
"I can't imagine my life without you"
Turns to weeks of sitting alone
And all the "I miss you"s
Turn to "how are you"s
As if you even cared
Your actions never matched your language
Were your words too limiting for you?
When I was still always there for you
And all you did was break promises?
Were the words you spoke too constricting?
At least that would explain why you broke them
Though still not why you said them
Maybe you were afraid to let me down
Or afraid to really be seen
Or just so self-absorbed that you didn't care
That you couldn't care
About yourself
Or about me
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