#toxic poems on Hello Poetry

1h

Embedded

Hold me down, hold me down, the bells are ringing
Spinning ‘round, spinning ‘round, my mind is tangent
All you boys with your toys, your games and your ploys
Can’t seem to cope with all this noise

You have me now, have me now going insane
Your tone and your scowl is always the same
Put me in a mood, boy, you’re so crude
Got me in a loop when it comes to you

So you can go ahead in your smug manner
Push me over the edge like I don’t even matter
‘Cause when everything’s said and done, you know you’ve already won
Me and my heart is racing after you

Oh, you can say whatever you wanna say
You suggest and I’ll copy and paste
‘Cause I know that’s all I’m good for, I don’t wanna be ignored
I’ve been subdued, I’m embedded to you

It’s too loud, it’s too loud, get out of my head
Swear all I can hear now is your voice in threads
It’s so vapid, rapidly falling into your cold abyss
Rushed in too deep and it seems endless

You have me now, have me now going crazy
Started from the day you had called me baby
Sold by your lines that you improvised
And now I’m stuck, can’t ever run or hide

So you can go ahead in your smug manner
Push me over the edge like I don’t even matter
‘Cause when everything’s said and done, you know you’ve already won
Me and my heart is racing after you

Oh, you can say whatever you wanna say
You suggest and I’ll copy and paste
‘Cause I know that’s all I’m good for, I don’t wanna be ignored
I’ve been subdued, I’m embedded to you

Deep down I know you’re no good for me
But I’m too attached for you to leave me lonely
I just want someone here
Need someone near

I’m afraid to be alone
Too involved to let you go
I’m weak by you
You win, I lose

So you can go ahead in your smug manner
Push me over the edge like I don’t even matter
‘Cause when everything’s said and done, you know you’ve already won
Me and my heart is racing after you

Oh, you can say whatever you wanna say
You suggest and I’ll copy and paste
‘Cause I know that’s all I’m good for, I don’t wanna be ignored
I’ve been subdued, I’m embedded to you

I’ve been subdued, I’m embedded to you
I’m subdued, I’m embedded to you

Recently wrote this so I hope it's alright.

#love #hurt #toxic

15h

June

I didn't care what it cost.
To be right there in your arms.

Now I know the price I've paid,
Left alone on the bed we've made.

'Cause you don't love the person right infront of you,
I'll starve myself to be kept in your view.

Complete my tithe,
Replete my sacrifice.

Because this prison is warm
I must suffice.

This poem stemmed from an early journal entry that I decided to rewrite as a poem, so this poem is very personal to me. I didn't battle with any eating disorders but I was a witness to many people that suffered from them. It's titled June becasue that's the month I had written the entry.

#love #toxic #relationships #special #sacrifice #personal #lonely #youwillgetthroughthis

1d

Sad

I haven't been able to write today
And I think it's because everything is okay
There is nothing to do and nothing to say
And it makes me miss being sad

There are flowers blooming inside of my mind
A rainbow just fell across the sky
Everything is warm and I don't know why
But it makes me miss being sad

The warmth of happiness inside of me
Is everything that I've wanted to be
But now that it's here it's unfamiliar to me
And it makes me miss being sad

The warmth in my mind is beautiful and bold
And I once hated the feeling of feeling so cold
But now that I'm somewhere else I miss home
I just think I was made to be sad

I found a home in my own darkness

#depression #sad #selfdestruction #darkness #happy #familiar #toxic

1d

Leave-Taking

She observed herself
Standing fast in clouds of steam
This felt so unreal.

Remote perspective
Would make survivable the
Dreaded encounter.

The necessities:
Tickets, porter, clock,
Time creeping along.

Maintained a distance
And staunch objectivity
‘Til the last moment.

Final words spoken,
All defenses splintering
She paused, one last look.

One last chance to stay,
Vanquished, punished, forbidden
The wide world’s pageant.
.
Point of inflexion.
The tug of the familiar
The pull of the known

Would invert the arc,
Intended trajectory,
Retrogressively.

And then, there it was:
Unctuous, demeaning smile,
Withering and cruel.

Pierced by well-honed fleer,
She reflexively shuddered
Like fly-stung horseflesh.

Ears roaring; face flushed
She felt foolish, faint-hearted,
humiliated.

One breath, and one more,
Forcing herself to stare down
Scorn and ridicule.

Then chin uplifted
And breath becalmed, she nodded
And scant smiled Adieu.

Thus the poetess
Righted her millinery,
Spun on her bootheel,

Snapped her parasol,
gave her bustle a barely
Perceptible shake,

And with solemn mien,
But mirthful eyes, she set forth
For better morrow.

#farewell #departure #toxic #relationship

3d

Who needs you

I dont know why im crying
Who needs you
I knew you were gonna do it
I wanted you to
Though i guess i forgot
How much i actually wanted you to stick around
But
I guess thats the way i work
He got to close to this rose
Got cut by the thorns
I tried to contain them but i dont know what happened

I guess im just another toxic rose not made to love

#who #needs #you #toxic #rose #love #ex #lost

5d

a thought.

Our stars are,
                                                                packed with polluted lies,

                       yet I'm still dumbfounded.

squinting.

12.14pm

#stars #emotion #relationship #toxic

5d

faded

i'll dissolve
like that acid
on your tongue
as you saturate me
in your lies

i'll burn
like that joint
in your mouth
when you can't look
me in the eyes

and you will sting
from the slaps
you never got
each time you
made me cry

#lies #toxic #abuse #pain #sadness #drugs #drug

7d

Wait?

I don't want to talk
Not to you
Because you seem to think
I will wait

No! Though you ARE my friend
I will not wait.
I'm sorry
I just can't take it.

You're always angry
At me
At others
And It's driving me insane

You boy crazy bean
I was joking, you know
When I said you crushed on everyone
And you got so mad about that one
JOKE.

We aren't a thing I can handle
You're toxic
So, so toxic
I have too many toxic people
You cannot be one of them

You're dramatic.
A perfectionist
(not saying I'm not)
Just that you're overboard
And I just can't take it.

And, yes, I know
I'm not the best friend to have either.
I get that I'm rude
and loud
and ******
But I just can't take it anymore!

But
In the end
Will I say any of this to you?

No.
I'll keep my **** mouth shut.
And I'll wait.
I'll talk.

Ok. Toxic friendships, just something I have on my mind. It probably doesn't matter, but I'm just bubbling it up, and that's not good. So ya.

#talk #toxic #wait

Nov 5

Three Cells

A black metal cell, 
for my body.

A white padded cell, 
for my mind.

A red beating cell, 
for my heart.

How long will you continue, 
to lock me up…?

#love #loss #control #toxic