i have a bad habit
where i talk really bad on myself
and i never notice when i do it,
but i never realized how toxic
i can be
to myself

You **** on my beliefs, you deny the existence of my gods and yet
You question my prayers.
Suspect my allies, flirt with my enemies.
Holes where there should be butterflies
Yet, you pretend to understand.
Eavesdrop on my confessions, belittle my priests
Yet you listen to your saviour with deaf ears.
You read his words with coloured glasses.
Surely, you jest, no you chastise.
Surround yourself with comfortable lies.
Your biggest problem is who am i?
But sir/ ma'am/ person, your crown is bleeding
with tears, blood and leaves.

Tell me a little bit about you
Enough for me to ask for more
A bit by bit to keep the interest
But not too much to become a bore

Tell me a little bit more about you
Just enough to keep the score
So you don’t hold it against me
Of who, knew who, more

Tell me just one more thing about you
Another one thing you can’t bare
One last try to get to know me
Since you never cared to know me at all

because you aren't coming back
i'll swallow my promise for good
i'm a train running off the track
but i'll never waste any food

i didn't care to eat too much
nor was i allowed
and if i put too much on my plate
i will finish it all somehow

***** once or three times on end
cause it doesn't feel right
force it back inside again
that's just love looks like

everything is going to be okay
still digging in; fork and knife
covering my ears makes it all fall away
for you, i'll devour life

Hello
                                                           ­                                  Read 21/01/21

                                                            ­                    What've you been up to?
                                                             ­                                Read 30/02/21

                                                            ­                                                           Hi
                                                              ­                               Read 12/02/21

                                                            ­                                                        Hey
     ­                                                                 ­                       Read 19/02/21

                                                            ­                                       How are you?
                                                            ­                                 Read 21/02/21

Hey can you help                                                
me with something?

I told you that I'd always love you
In the last text that I sent
That I was grateful and I hide
All the ways I circumvent

So you would think I've got less poison
Than my memories of you
It's so unfair I held you close
And now you're all I want to lose

Running through my veins
Running through my veins
I'll always love you, darling
I hope you feel this all the same

I'll cause all the breaths you bate
Every time you hear my name
I'll always love you, but...
I hope you suffer all the same

poisonous trash thrown
lives underwater suffer
wide bricks hold them in