I am frozen from the inside out.
My breaths are not a choice.
Voices whisper answers to it all,
Answers to questions I didn't ask.
I try to close my eyes and close my ears,
But they push past my defenses.
And no one understands
Why I stand here alone
And cannot step forward
Without clutching his arm,
The one who helps me breathe,
Who wanted to understand it all.
I want to stand tall, and I will
When I learn to stand alone
And I am braver than the fear
Would have me believe I am.

The darkest prison
Shackles you to the worst fear
How people see you

So you do it all
You try to please everyone
At the cost of one

Finding happiness
You lose yourself in that fear
In prison's shadows

Some more haikus from my journal. Have you ever been one of those people to give up your own happiness just to please those around you? Easy to fall into, difficult to get out of...
Jobira Jul 8

It's really a cliche that we have become
Bitter and cold, hidden inside ourselves
Instead of exploring life, by being fearless
Spontaneous and adventurous
like how we used to be.

Remember those times, we went to skydiving,
the times which we never gotten enough of each other's
intense love making, the midnight moonlight walks
The phone calls until the sunrise, the times that
We suddenly show up at our doorsteps
Without an invitation, and the times
We laugh at our corny jokes
The times we just spend centuries,
Silently staring at each other's eyes,
Laying under the blue sky and counting
The countless stars?
I miss those days.

Now, all of it is gone like a smoke in the thin air.
Because today, it seems we have crawled back to
Inside our own skins like snakes
For we’re hiding our true colours as well as
Don't seem to like our companies that much.

It's really a cliche because,
It's one thing not having the same old feelings but
We're pretending and living in a denial
As if everything is fine between us
When in fact they are not
While despising each other's existence.

We're even incapable of looking eye to eye
But still chose to make each other miserable
Just waiting for the other person to let go
So we can break free of
Our own caged prisons we have
Built around our bitter hearts that
Is waiting to fly away like a bird to a new home.

I wish we could go back in time
And raise our dead love from the ashes like phoenix
Not to be added to the statistics of
“Just another cliche in the society.”

How come we lose ourselves over times?
Anon Jul 5

Imprisonment and stories make for strange bedfellows
but I suppose the best tales
come from the fire-pits of anguish
yet another found my ears
one more story
without a happily ever after

tears always make me uncomfortable
and there he was;
crying oceans of sorrow
green eyes robbed of the beauty it once had
a man stuck on despair-boulevard

he whispered of his child
buried without a father
denied one last glance
of his wife's callous desertion
a man's loss of his only family
he was imprisoned and helpless
to change the ink in fate's black book

there is no comforting such a man
I was only an instrument of destiny
in silence I sat
as he quietly composed himself
walking away
a defeated man's weary footsteps

I was left with the irony
of a man who walked into a cage
free and smiling
now into the free world he went
forever imprisoned. 


Eleni Jul 1

Self absorption
Anger uncontrollable
Lashing out on the innocent
He rings like a bell through the night
A bell of death. A poison.

Oh, how she would love to escape from your wretched prison.
She cries, she screams, her voice turns into a monster. A figure herself she has never seen before.

She has no one she can relate to comfortably.
She has no one in her lonely tower.
She waits, waits for the dark.
So that she may hide in the shadows and no one will be able to see her scars.

Shrouded in black,
In the marketplace they ask
'How fares your gentle father?'
She cries a little inside at their ignorance, but forgives them.

But she no longer wants to play the damsel in distress, she wants freedom.
Yet, she can not taste it.

She can only taste the toxicity of the deadly nightshade.

Chan S Jun 22

You didn't raise me!
I aged as wine does in that prison
you kept me in!
You didn't raise me!
I suffered as a lil Baby in that prison
you kept me in!
You didn't raise me!
I was psychologically abused in that prison
you kept me in!
You didn't raise me!
My Soul was CRUSHED in that prison
you kept me in!
DID you Hear me?!
I said!...    
You didn't raise me!
So I ran from that prison
you kept me in...
and I left you there in that prison
you kept me in...
...Now you're stuck...there
in that prison
you kept me in.

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M Norris Jun 19

How I long to be free like the Sparrow.
Alas, these holes are far too narrow,
And I cannot compress my marrow.
This fate is a heavy burden to bare,
How I long to be free like the Sparrow.

The inspiriration for this came from, funnily enough, my 1y/o son discovering the baby gate.
jetspecter Jun 6

Alone, sitting in a terminal,
adjusting your sunglasses
to see the reflection of that
girl’s ass as she walks past

Alone, states away, all work
and no play, but mischievous
endeavors and misinformation
are coming back to bite you

Tax fraud and evasion, lies
on your resume and breaking
the promises to keep your lips
sealed and your pants zipped

When they don’t just repossess
your car and call your bluffs
but take away her white dress
and replace it with handcuffs

Prison isn’t for boys like you–
If you last a day, I’d be impressed
cause all the blue-collar boys will
make you wear the wedding dress.

To a former lover

Now you're in the sunken place
Clawing at your own skin
To escape
Break free
From the prison inside you
Pulling apart
Your rib cage
Because it feels like
You're suffocating yourself
For reality
But the only thing you catch
Is a handful
Of your decaying flesh

And now you're in the sunken place

The tears like acid-
Poison to your eyes
Burning through your sight
So you fight
With clouded vision
Stumbling into
The labyrinth that is your brain
Against the tissued barriers
The padded walls
Insanely insanity
The darkest type of mental institute
Locked with three clicks
Inside your head

And now you're in the sunken place

Constantly slicing yourself open
Searching for a key
To unlock the psych ward door
A key-
Lost in your vital organs
So you cut deeper
Deep-deep down under
Drowning in gallons
Or your own crimson blood
Muffling your screams to girgles
You try and hide
In the fissures of your bones
Through yourself
To escape yourself
To survive this hell
To outlive your jail cell

So now you're stuck
In the sunken place

Quietly psychotic
Waiting for what comes next
You're the patient in Asylum X.

I got the "sunken place" from the movie Get Out (which is an awesome movie which accurately depicts racism that I've experienced btw).

Anyway, I just took that idea and ran with it!
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