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. . . I diluted myself for you
I spoke less and moaned more
I softened my spirit
I offered up yeses that once would've been no's
I held my tongue between *******
And wore pretty pink lace where there once would've been the blackest leather
I put fewer cigarettes between my lips
And instead pressed them together
To keep you from remembering
Why you didn't love me before
I put on an apron
To play my part
I served you smiles on dinner plates
And sipped white wine in place of whiskey
I put hearts in a lunch box
To keep you company through the day
Then mourned who I once was
While you were away

. . . I thought that if I was softer
More feminine
More pure
That you would be kinder
That I would fit better in your arms
That if I didn't talk back
My lips would taste sweeter
That you would listen when I spoke
I thought that if I became weak
We could be strong
That if slaughtered my Independence
And laid it to rest at your feet
That you would want to ****** my hair like you once had
When I stopped standing my ground
In the kitchen where I performed
And let the peanut gallery at the table
Critique my every adjective
Only to curtsey before their taunts
That when doors closed
You would whisper that I had done well
That your heart had space for me again
I thought that maybe if I hid it when I bled
You would leave the whiskey alone and finally come to bed


. . . But instead
I committed a ******
I killed the woman that I loved
I took a spirit and trapped it in a box made of yes dears and I'm sorries
By replacing her combat boots with pointe shoes
And her pride with warm baked cookies
I slit her throat with a knife made of compromises
Chained her ankles to the kitchen table and forced her to dance before lesser beings
I made an arrangement of the wild roses that made up her lips
And left her unprotected without any thorns
Then cut out her tongue and made her watch
in stunned silence
when you trampled through the garden with clumsy careless feet
I murdered the woman that I used to be
Sacrificed everything just to find that you never loved me
. . .



. . . But fear not, even the goldfish who lies belly up can swim again . . .
Kate Oshla Dec 2
I have so few skills
She plays them all better than I do
It’s time to for me to hide them
So no one judges as I do

She’s better with her style
Her drawing and her voice
She writes entire stories
While I write this one **** verse

I don’t want attention
But what can I say
The only thing I do better
Is pretending I’m ok
The more I feel
The more you see
Difference has been set
but love comes to you and me
The less we talk
The more we hate
shared memories begin to fade
The less I talk
The more I think
love was never ours
efforts go down in the sink.
begone thot
Nylee Dec 1
Increase
add more
what is there
is so less.

it is endless
little still
extra need
more to feed
up to greed

no way to rid
there is a thirst
countless prayers
many faces
every day
ending with empty hands

all the resources
forces
on the toes
evolving
multiplying the lives
depleting what is left
it will end
all has been said.
Johnny walker Nov 23
What now lies on the road ahead
only time will tell, at this point it's  
an endless road that has no end In
site
As times move on, each day that
passes bye maybe the pain of lose
will ease a little but knowing I'll
have be
strong
Early days yet since she passed
away, but slowly more pleasant
memories of Helen I'm starting to
remember now
remembering Helen more pleasant memories I'm now starting hurt a little less
Seanathon Nov 16
Emerald eyes
Consuming flowers
One crowned with white nobility
One being still
Endlessly
Taillessly
Timelessly
Devoured
The crown less again shall be king
Amanda Nov 3
You can hurt me in
Whichever way you please
I won't love you less
And you know that
Cherisse May Oct 27
one less spoonful.
i repeat, and eat less.
one less kilogram.
i repeat, and eat less.

as i look at my own reflection in the mirror,
as if to mock me,
it's all the same;
i am still not enough.

one less craving.
i say, as my stomach grumbles.
one less meal.
i say, as the bile comes rushing in, forcing its way out.

one less spoonful.
i say, as i head to the comfort room after a meal.
one less kilogram.
i say, as i force my fingers into my mouth, expelling the contents of my own stomach.
i need help.
The other may be taller -
The other may be older -
The other may be more,
but that doesn't mean
that you are any less -
S/he loving you? All that
means that s/he sees more
so much more, in you too
so stop questioning the love
and just love, love them to death,
and so much more so beyond.
Kylie Oct 11
giving other lives a meaning
not caring about yourself
is that what selfless is

you don’t even care
when you’re happy or not
as long as they’re happy
even without you
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