Please give me rain
I've found my strength in the thunder
I've lost myself between the hailstorms and I don't care to be found again
I wish to be well
I need to be guided through my personal hell
And I will wait
Until I am worthy
Until I am taught to understand and revere you
To accept you above me
I'm not on my knees
I don't believe in salvation, but I need to be saved.
It's the wettest dream
put for forth by a patriarch
wishing to fulfill their appetites
while the female must submit
happiness is the highest goal
not for all, just his own
as the man rules all beheld
with his deity blessing all.
Look to pages of holy books
dogmas passed down by the elders
there you'll find the proof
asking gracious to kowtow
or should I say graciously
there may be no thankfulness
when little can be denied
to head of house, religious boss.
A universal order must exist
with one on top, if that's their wish
submission is the natural course
this domination is home grown
humility is asked by his god
the mate's interests before his own
this is the theory put to test
when pleasure is taken with hot lust.
The yoke is kind, the load is light
dinner at 5:00 please the good wife
delivered up for the master's whim
based on welfare's pleasure and power's boon
in all things, praise the church
apologies cover transgressions' hurts
foul temptation is power's gift
easily satisfied by a velvet fist.
© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170427.
I found my Savior when he died
passed from life, yet to rise
surrounded by the ones who cared
ready to move him to a tomb.
Nature was the frame without
asking me to look within
where I've given up my sins
with knowledge that he'd rise again.
The garden held the station's crest
put upon a bright green wall
proceeded by twelve milestones
with best as last, praise the Lord.
Acceptance of the longest walk
a day that saved this humble soul
the stone showed the sacrifice
while spring's rebirth foretold more.
I'll stand here to declare his gift
the covenant of God to men
before I leave this gladed place
to live again as Jesus did.
© 2017. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20170426.
For so long the Devil played the strings on my heart
I was a puppet in his hands, feeling this and feeling that
But Christ cut the strings; he replaced the hooks with a heart of flesh
Though still I feel the emotions, I go through the motions
They controlled me for so long, they pulled me along
Like a top, spinning and spinning; now free but it goes through the motions
My heart is free, but resides at pride and hate
My hands are free, and do the devil’s handiwork
My mind is free, but on Christ it does not dwell
Inertia lasts so long; then it’s done and gone
Someday it will be foregone: just hold on!
Little by little, I realize the puppet is free
The sins of my past are no longer steadfast
Spinning and dizzy still, I venture only step by step – but soon I walk freely
My heart is weak and failing, but soon all renewed
My hands are trembling, but reach to embrace the Savior
My mind forgets my sin, and clings to the old rugged cross
For so long, I fought to undo what had been done
Though I was glorified, the shadows of my stains made me tremble
As the spinning stops, so my heart; my sin is finished and I’m made like the savior
forgive me father for I have sinned
I can't repent
I am not your child
forgive me father for I don't believe
I am not pure
I do not give my body to Christ
forgive me father for I am an adulterer
I have laid with man before marriage
I did not save myself
forgive me father,
god traced her fingers down my spine
and said, “my child, you don’t believe
in much of anything these days,
why are you putting your faith
in empty bottles and 2 miligram bars?”
i scratched my nails down my arm
and said, “god, you are just another
voice i hear. how do i know
you’re not the one that tries to kill me?
how do i know that you’re not the one
who whispers about how terrible i am?”
god ran her hands through my hair
and said, “sweetie, i’m god. you have
to trust me, you have to believe
that i love you and can save you.”
i balled my hands into fists
and said, “god, i have stopped
putting my faith in forces
i hear in my ears. i can’t believe
in something that will only
let me wallow in my sickness
because it’s a trial.
my life has been a trial
and i’m going to make it end
if i hear one more goddamn
god vanished and laughed herself to sleep.
I didn't fit into
The clique at the Local Church.
I tried to get to know those people.
I tried to get them to like me,
But I never really felt accepted
For who I am.
I turned to Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll instead.
To be honest,
Most of the sex wasn't really that good,
But some of it was AMAZING.
I felt I was in HEAVEN
When I made love to CERTAIN women.
Then, to be honest,
Most of my experiences with Dope
Weren't that exciting,
But some of them were AMAZING.
I really felt as if
I was in
Direct Contact with GOD.
Much of the Rock and Roll I listened to
But some of it was just MIND BLOWING.
I was so moved by some of these performances
That I can play the tape of their Concerts in my mind
So, I decided
That Drugs, Sex and Rock and Roll
Must actually be the TRINITY
The Church was speaking of
The Father, the Son
And the Holy Ghost.
My eyes, they lie;
an awful lie they tell,
My brain trembles;
by this sinful spell.
My mind, it splits;
bipolarity and depression,
My teeth plaques;
from witty perception.
Let my sight be blinded;
by love whom existed none,
Hell awaites my hollow chasm;
my life pointed by a gun.