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Nina McNally Jun 16
My heart belongs to
You and you are my person! My

Sanity feels normal when I’m
Around you and
No matter the days
I will always love you
Tomorrow and forever
You are my love! <3
Written in May 2022
Song title from Thriii
Inspired by a new love
It’s nice how someone you love can make your sanity feel great :)
preston Mar 2

I wrote that to you..

from the waiting room of my eye doctor
but I didn't know it sent. I was grinding on my jeep Sunday
and got a piece of metal in my eye the size of a farm tractor,

    but all is well after this second visit  👀

A couple of reasons for the multiple accounts..
Originally started as my way of satiring the many people
on the site that use multiple accounts to put likes and
comments on their own work in order to make it trend..
or even make the 'daily'..
or to stroke themselves  with compliments
so horrendously..  uh, dishonestly.
But me being the battle-hardened, ******* nonconform
that I am, the first time I commented on my own piece,
my own account made fun of myself
to such a degree..
   it ended up in a fistfight--
But it was me..  just ******* up
the whole trolling process.
I always tell the ones that I care
about  who all is 'me'.
I also phase popular ones of mine  out  
      and replace them with new ones  
          if that one is getting too noticed on the site.

That way I don't garner too many followers, which I believe
quenches one's freedom that is lost within the  obligatory
'give and take' mindset that is a cancer  on this
and so many other online writing sites.

Vogel started talking to you when I was no longer
scared of how quickly you got in with me.
I talk like crazy when someone like you gets in to the inner-core
of me so easily..  just by being the way that you are.
The babbling provides a canopy of structure..  Love's structure.
Strange, I know..  but I don't like being scared.
Its a boundary-thing..
and there is so little about ones like you
that even remotely slows down
the process of getting in..

and   I'm-a..  uh..
"I'm a loner, Dottie.. a rebel.."
~Peewee Herman

yeah.. that.

The accounts keep me safe from the
general public  by bringing
pieces of me out, relationally onto the screen  as a way of
providing for myself, the warm cover of love's structure--

   me..  with me.
All so very strange sounding, I'm sure.

I really enjoy watching you, kid.
I'm so sorry for bombing you with all those wordy messages
when we met. Your unique heart, mind, and spirit
are everything perfect in my eyes..  yes..  even with all of your
current broken,  fragmented pieces.
You were recently maybe under some form of a psyche-hold,
which is probably where the psyche eval came from.
Some in the mental health field care deeply..  many are just
going through the motions-- originally thinking it was
for them, and then finding out what the true cost
of love really is,  before slinking back into a foot-shuffling
process..   even as psychologists,  
and often  even medical psychiatrists (prescribers)--

    Who love to find a name for things so they can 'expertly'
    enter into relationship with what now has a name,
    rather than the deeply-hurting person.

Everybody wants the ****, beautiful-voiced girl who stands
a very good chance of making her mark so well in this world.
I would trade access to the 'best' part of it all with you,  
just to have the chance to be with you,  for even 5 minutes  
on that **** and tear-soaked, psyche room floor.

That is where I want to be.

My multiple "friends" keep me free..
unencumbered..  deeply-loved..
  .. ready.  
Broken-down, and pitch-black within the darkness of all its
despair. That is where it is that I would trade all things for,
    in order to be..
with you..  deep in to the very   r e a l   of  it  all..
if you ever fell down that temporarily far.

Everything I do is for that moment.  
My "friends" give me strength.  They believe in me
because I so deeply believe in my loved self.

       Hence, the ability to go anywhere
       you may one day have to go.



       Sorry, kid.. but you asked.


  Mm.  Babe..

"Can you feel the resistance..
  Can you feel the thunder"
https://youtu.be/uqUa_G1h3pw

M Vogel Feb 22

"How deep is it,  really.."

Ah Babe.. do you think its too deep?
.. It can be done, sweet-one--
we can do this **** in our sleep.

What fall  is really a fall, at all
when the one,  falling down
just below you..

In his sleepy-sleep-sleep..
sleepsleepsleep,
    when just a little-boy..

        prayed the lord,  
        his soul to keep, keep keep.


We go down, Babe.    Mmmm
There is nothing to fear,
but fear,  itself..
  .
      .
  .
     .
   .

     .

ah, sweet girl..
we  go  down.


my love said to my love..

"What if I wanted to break..
What if I, what if I, what if I, what if I..."

https://youtu.be/8yvGCAvOAfM

Mm.
we're gonna take a little time off..
relax...   get lost...
I S A A C Feb 9
I suppose I should repose
explore new clothes since I've outgrown
every and anything in this ratchet city
every day I wish to make it out before I am 50
before my bones and motivation crack
before my smile lines and crow's feet are all I have
watching my sanity slip like my grandson down the waterslide
oh, why God why, did you never let me fly?
Was I caged or fearful? Was it staged or virile?
Was I ever able or just another one of your fables?
the man that would never because he never believed he could
Hi Feb 2020
in my head its like a war
as though people are screaming through open  doors
i feel all this pain
but i'm trying to keep sane
i guess i'm the only one to blame
its plane to see how it came to be
this pain dug deep inside of me
that cause this loss of sanity
that spirals out of my head
bossanova Nov 2021
My heart is lost beyond the sunset,
To be left in the darkness for eternity.
You are the reason for mine's fate;
For I'd rather leave than to lose my sanity.
It's been a while
since I've written,
maybe I was trying to forget
the pain that I felt
when I put words on the paper,
or maybe it was just regret
of the life gone by
people left detached,
maybe this does not make any sense at all
this uncertainty
is not good for my sanity,
all I need in this world of maybes
is just some security.
The secure people are usually non-adventurous. I think that is what you need at times.
Glenn Currier Sep 2021
It is hot
I am sweaty and already tired
a lone mason out here in the sun
my back bent over the edge of the foundation.
Behind me the stack of bricks
in my hand the trowel
snatched up from my weathered toolbox.

My forehead drips joining the goo of mortar
I lay the mortar bed row
and grab the first brick
to begin the southern wall,
the wall that will face the first squall
of this troubled season.
Sometimes one must begin again the project of building sanity.
Jade Aug 2021
Toto, I have a feeling we’re not in Sane anymore.
how to appear sane:
smile
be outgoing
surround yourself with others
talk about your health regime
even if said regime doesn't exist
never speak out of turn
never make a scene
all negative thinking must remain inward
there are other people to not be drained
never, ever, ever ask for help
don't admit you are struggling
don't say that life is hell
have a full time job
if you don't have one - make one up
if you have dared to miss some sleep
cover that **** with make up

how to appear sane:
be forever friendly to others
even if your friendliness is fake
everyone else will always know best
when you are mistreated by them
wear it.
learn to hide it.
learn to drink it.
learn to eat it.
learn to slice it.
learn to burn it.
learn to deny it.

how to appear human:
cry when your body needs to cry
sleep when your body needs to sleep
talk when you need to talk
create your own regimes
they don't have to make sense to anyone else
if your life is hell
then it is hell
how to appear sane
get rid of the myths that come with sane
get rid of the myths that come with sane
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