my inbox is a wonderland
            a rollercoaster;
    an amusement park itself!

four years ago
           said the time stamp
    he said "hi"

no matter how much i boast
           on my way with words
    most times i'm just lost.

my inbox is a wonderland
            a rollercoaster;
    an amusement park itself!

seven years ago
           said the time stamp
    she said, "you're not my friend."

no matter how much i boast
           with my way with people
    every relationship comes out with scars.

my inbox is a wonderland
            a rollercoaster;
    an amusement park itself!

five years ago,
            as indicated by the time stamp
    my friend told me, "i hope it gets better for you"

no matter how much i boast
           about my big heart and love for them
    i always forget to tuck them close.

You hostage bitten bones and
bloody eyed souls in your closet,
and I am terrified to turn my back on them.

i do not speak your name
i cannot even whisper it
instead, i hide it in my dreams
under my sheets
beneath a sky that sees all
but does not burn my skin
do you ever wonder
what the moon is thinking?
does she gaze down solemnly and see
a fading opus
or a symphony simply tightening its strings
for the final act?
do you think it makes her sad
to see the greens replaced
with soot and plaster
the seas rising to meet her
with an apocalyptic kiss?
the falling tide
the slow recession
reminds me that
she keeps our secrets
but i think it breaks her heart

I am a walnut
A hard outer shell

Keeping my secrets within

Few bother to crack me
It takes too much effort
for such an unappetizing morsel

But those who do take the time
Find that once I am open
All of me has been spilled out to them

And I cannot uncrack


But he is a pumpkin
He opens for you

But you have to pull his secrets out of him
Bit by slimy bit
Until you have them laid out on a
table
and still you must sort through his insides
to find who he really is

And when you think you know
There is another secret
That he won't explain

He doesn't want you to know him

I really think if you told your mom
You would be surprised
I hope the surprise is that she’s there for you
And that she finds the right words
Because she’s your mom
And if the surprise is hurtful
Remember the words you told me once
She may be grieving
Not because she is disappointed
But because she didn’t know
Because she doesn’t really know what it all means
Because she couldn’t find the right words at the right time
But more importantly,
Because she was the last to know
Mothers don’t like to be the last to know
We were once the first to see everything
Then we were demoted
Yet we saw more then we got credit for
Now that our children are grown and gone
It’s different
We rely on tidbits, small talk, holiday visits, sibling rumors
Mothers are often the last to know
But no matter what
And no matter how we react
When we are finally told
Or if we are never told
Every secret
Every heartbreak
Every silly encounter
A mother’s love is so strong
Our love is forever
I really think if you told your mom
You would be surprised

It was only in the silence.
It was only in the wood.
It was only in the darkness,
And I never thought I would-

But It came up through shadow.
Up through the front door-
Up until sunrise
Until I could stand it no more

So I stood like a crucifix
I stood in the rain
I stood in my own likeness
Never giving it a name

I carved into myself
The image that you had claimed
Knowing full well
I would always be the same

You are
              so nice
    To listen to me without judgment.
To accept the words I feed you when you ask.
You want my stories.
You ask for the bright ones, but there are none
                    Left.
So I give you
                dark ones instead.
And those you swallow down
      with your
drinks in the fitting darkness of night.
You let them dissolve away, amortised with the alcohol in your blood,
Forgotten in the morning,
And I wonder
                                        what it’s like
To love someone who
                 Doesn’t
                    Truly
                        Know
         ­                  You.

And you told me
No matter the wreckage
You did not regret
Any part of us
Kissing at the train station
Surprising me on my dark day
Loving under the moonlight
Dancing through the kitchen
Telling me your secrets
No matter the wreckage
You would not forget me
Could never regret us

Did something change?