Kneeling down before the beauty I once endured
My voice notes being smashed upon your floor.
My heart's last seconds being hung on an unraveling thread
My hand sliced open by your knife that demanded my blood shed
"Your Definition of Beauty must be contain"
"Your added Darkness to Your Beauty has put us to shame!"
My Cat eyes grasped what was left of my black filled charm
My Mask that was ripped off from me was my armor to protect me from your harm!
The blood you caused to escape stained the overcast beauty that laid shattered and unable to fix
I burst out in a low laughing hiss "Is this some kind of trick?"
I stand up in front of you, my arm opened wide, still willing to show that I need to be redefined
You back away slowly, refusing to accept the differences of mine
My eye lids painted with black that seems to sweep off with a curl
Blinked slowly with good intentions, but it caused your body to hurl
You began to run off slowly, from the edge of my cat-eye sight
My claws dig into my palm, refusing to give up this fight
My head hung low, the mess still remaining
I abandoned it completely, the forgotten beauty is worth the learning
I'm not made to please you fools on this Earth, but for someone who is on high for deserving...
Alone is being alone with one's self.
It's a feeling of emptiness among crowds.
Being amongest humans but not feeling a part of that conversation
or company
Alone with you.
Doing things you enjoy with you.
Is not the same as couples
Family's
Groups ..
I never want to be alone.
But I know a different kind
Of loneliness within a marriage ..
And that can be the worst feeling ever.
That is my biggest weapon, I am completely outrageously, beautifully, terrifyingly mad.
How did I get here? I have un buttoned my chest and unfolded my lungs presenting them to you. Hoping maybe you would help me breathe easy. I’m so tired of having to fight all the time, for the things I want, and the things I don’t want. I’m so tired, sometime I cry when I wake up.
How could anyone ever love something as easy as me? Yes, I suppose I am easy, I believe everything I am told with hopeful eyes, I see everything covered in gold and hold anything as a treasure. I do not know if that makes me wealthier or not.
I wish I knew what making love felt like,
if anyone knows that at all. I keep dreaming that I see him again.
But in my dream when I held him we merged into one being,
and I wept or he wept but I left him there because I wanted something new,
Something that didn’t feel so beautifully harmful. But would you listen to me I'm lying.
I do not want simplicity,
I have never wanted simplicity ,
I will never be simplicity
please, please, please fall in love with me.
There will always be more to see, things to find and uncover and I will make you eternal, turn you into ink and paper, make your existence tangible. You believe you know the meaning of life for there is none, but I disagree. The only meaning is to take something incomplete and turn it into something worth its content.
I am humiliated, my insides flooding out of me,
melting from my inside out. Just like the night light I had on my bed side ad a child,
the one that started melting night after night with my parent’s fight after fight. I did not want to sleep anymore,
if I didn’t sleep it didn’t melt and we would never have left.
I do not sleep.
please do not humiliate me.
Do not sow my chest to your feet and drag me into you our bed sheet where you unbutton your chest and lay within someone else’s. Be careful, I am easy.
Easy enough to love anything but easy enough to destroy anything too. That is my biggest weapon, I am completely, outrageously, beautifully, terrifyingly mad.
mad mad mad mad mad and loving.
That is my biggest weapon, I am completely outrageously, beautifully, terrifyingly mad.
I must have done something terribly unforgiving,
To have made you, my love, to get away from me.
I must have committed a grave mistake,
By loving you too much, for now I have nothing for myself.
I must have been blind, my dear
To have overlooked the cracks in our sacred bond right from the start.
But I swear, if I were to go back into the past
I'd erase it all and lay down a new stone for the path
For I must have done something wrong.
I receive an average of 1 text per day.
It's usually a bill payment reminder.
I have no friends.
No, literally, none at all.
I'm on 3 dating websites,
sending 50 messages a day.
Zero replies.
I'm fit. Gym 7 days a week.
Well-groomed and clothed.
I've been called handsome.
None of that matters.
I can explain a
thermodynamic chemical equation to you.
And it'd still be easier than for me
to land a date.
I'm going to settle for a woman when I'm 40.
She'll be in her 30s, desperate to conceive.
We'll have some children but no interest in each other.
And that'll be the end of my romantic life.
I came here for criticism
To be loved by many
I came here to share my truth
To see if I was any good
But how will I know
If you don't tell me
So all I ask is to review my work
as if I was good enough to be here
Will i get rejected?
Or will I aspire?
How will I know?
I am not looking for approval.
Just to become a better writer
So if you hate my truth then tell me why.
No hope
No dreams
No Vision
For the Future
Just trying to make the pain go away.
My chances became
equal to your frigid heart:
absolute zero.
You hurt me
But I don't care
I cry
But still
I try
To make you see
I'm right in front of
Your eyes
Are you blind?
Or is it just
I'll never
Be the one