No matter what I do, I'm always being told what I'm doing wrong.
"Just stop! You can't do anything right!"
"Why do you do the things you do?!"
"Can't you do anything right?"
As I sit in this lonely bed tonight, all I can think of is how I'm the screwup of my life.
How I will never achieve the statuses my elders have.
How I keep letting those around me down.
I am the screwup.
Nothing more and nothing less.

How do you feel
When you trained yourself not to
I’m sorry
I don’t want you to hurt
That’s not what I’m going for
I just **** up a lot
Forgive me now
And forgive me when I ***** up again
My imperfections run deep

I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
I wish I was the daughter
That you could admire
Instead I just destroy
Everything I desire


I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
And I'm not like the siblings you love
I promise you that I'm trying
But I know that it will
Never quite be enough

I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
The others seem to find it so easy
I wish I could breeze through life
Without a care
Just like the others

I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum  
I promise you I'm working
Towards a better future for us all
Even if it feels like
It's just a steady crawl

I'm sorry I'm the ***** up mum
I love you more than words can say
I would do absolutely anything
To make you proud
One day

Criticize my every move you constantly remind me when I lose tell me to be myself and then judge me for who I am I  giving it my all and you don't seem to notice tough love you call it ,fighting for your approval since I've met you and can't seem to make you proud sorry for being a failure .... .

I watched a movie once,
where this girl keeps ruining her life
as she and her brother walk on a beach he asks her whats going on
and she turns to him and says "Maybe I'm the faller. The one who doesnt get the boy, the one who never gets an A. The one who trips and stumbles and pulls everybody down with her. every family has one. ours must be me."
i hear her say this, and i hear the pain in her voice as she says it,
and i realize that i am the faller.
i ***** up
i cause pain to my family
how can someone who never does anything right even come close to
standing up straight?