I remember the long skirts and purple sunglasses
I remember the love I had for you
Hugging your legs when you come home
Thousands of miles away but still my role model
Reading you your Harry Potter books over the phone, not understanding the words
Writing letters to you wondering when you were coming home again
I remember you sleeping in my bed and watching movies up late
I remember the good, but you left me with a monster
No one to protect me, I had fight for myself
Maybe I was too naive back then to see the truth
To see the bottle that never left your hand
To see the damage you’ve done to yourself
I wish I did see, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt this much
I begged you to care for yourself, knowing if you didn’t you’d leave me again
But all you told me is everyone dies anyway
You killed me that day and washed away every ounce of innocence I had for you
You showed me a side, I didn’t have the opportunity to grow up with
You started to resemble my monster
Cold, heartless, selfish
You didn’t care that you hurt me
I can’t believe I was so stupid
You weren’t there for the hard times in my life, so why would you care
You weren’t even there for the good times
You didn’t try
To consumed in yourself and the men that captured your attention
You’d choose them over me, I know it
Now the hole inside me has worsened and I can’t stop it
I stay up reminiscing and wishing to be naive again, but I can’t run away from the truth
I can’t make you care
I can’t make you love yourself
I wish I could
I wish I didn’t feel like it’s hard to get up every day or have a weight on my shoulders that makes me want to fall to my knees
I wish I felt more than this
You’ve made me feel inadequate and not good enough
But you’ve never even cared to know me
The real me
But what I think hurt the most was realizing the person I loved didn’t even love me in the first place
It was all lies
I don’t have anyone, not even my sister
Maria Polina Feb 16
I never had a room.
Well, I had a room
But, I was allergic to dust.
I am allergic to dust.
So, early on
She took all the books
Off the cold off-white metal shelves
That clanked and groaned
Under their weight
Put the humidifier in
And let the velvety steam
Perspire on my peach painted walls.
I think they were peach.
Maybe another hue of pink.
Which I grew to hate
Because she slept in blue.
A fragment of my childhood.
Janery Alban Feb 16
Today I got to scream all of the things I wanted myself to know when I was younger.
Past me. She sits there, Shaking like a leaf. Part anger. Part Fear
Shattering resilience.
You are what simultaneously brings out the worst and best of me.
I resort to the tongue of my father because my mother's sweet and damaging arms couldn't do the trick.
You are the reason why I know I probably shouldn't have children.I just can't seem to let go. And so I become the sin. I become my father's sin, and my father's father's sin.
I'm sorry they were never there, but I still dream of holding you in my arms like my baby and taking you somewhere safe. I still dream of saving you.
But I guess in order to do that, first I have to save myself.

I have never left you. You can only imagine why it is so hard to do so now.
Bethie Feb 14
Thanks for all the good times
When we talk about our books
Or when we talk about our rhymes
Or when we cringe about our looks

We seem to have the same tastes
Or at least they're close enough
Our taste in music is your face
And our style of writing is quite tough

Needless to say, I made this rhyme
Really just mostly to be fair
And say that I've forgiven you
For the time you chained me to a chair

Love,
Your sister
lins Feb 12
she is strong like no other
demanding to be heard when necessary
while at times listening with gentleness
oh how I admire her

she is brave like no other
standing up for herself
while defending those she loves
oh how I admire her

she is funny like no other
laughing at her own jokes
always keeping me entertained
oh how I admire her

she is smart like no other
learning about life constantly
always teaching with a passion
oh how I admire her

she is following like no other
listening for God’s call
then taking action with courage
oh how I admire her

she is a sister to none other
loving me unconditionally
then guiding me with care
oh how I admire her
To my big sis, confidant, and best friend. I'm missing you a lot these days.
She Writes Feb 5
When your life gets dark
I will shine a light on the positive

When you feel empty
I will fill that void with laughter

When you feel weak
I will help you focus on your strengths

When you need guidance
I will help show you the way

When you are scared
I will be your protector

When you are down
I will be there to raise your spirits

When you are lost
I’ll be a compass to guide you

When you are sad
I’ll be your shoulder to cry on

No matter what life throws your way
I’ll be here anytime of day
Emma Beckett Feb 1
Dear Little Sister,
I saw you today for the very first time today. You were screaming and crying, like you knew that you had just been born into a truly insane family. I’m sorry about that by the way.
I don’t know why God chose you for us. I have enough sisters, I really don’t need another one. But, here you are, so I guess I have to live with it.
Your timing was terrible. Like everyone in our family, you’re running late. Years late.
I forgive you though. If I had your parents, I would’ve put of being born as long as could to.

Dear Little Sister,
You projectile vomited onto my backpack right as I was about to leave for school today.  If this is an analogy for the rest of our lives, I’m gonna have to send you back.

Dear Little  Sister,
As you get older you are going to learn that our family is a little bit weird. I promise that other people’s parents don’t take them to break into music festivals at the ripe age of two. Also, I think you would be hard pressed to find another mom that can burn pasta as badly as yours can.
I have to be honest with you. Not all of the things that make our family weird are good.
Most nights our dad picks up a bottle and doesn’t put it down until he’s not really our dad anymore. When I was little I don’t think there was anything I was more afraid of.
Don’t worry little one, this will not be your story. I’m here now, and I will be a warrior for you.
I’m mostly telling you this because I want you to know that this is not how its’ supposed to go. Most other dads don’t pick up bottles, and when they do most moms don’t close their eyes to it.
I don’t want you to grow into a person who grabs a bottle because no one ever taught you there was another way.

Dear Little Sister,
I know it was scary this morning when I wouldn’t wake up. You did such a good job of being brave while everyone made sure I was alright.
Right now you are too young to understand, but someday you are going to figure out that people can be sick even if they look fine on the outside. Sometimes sickness lives inside our minds rather than in our bodies. That’s what happened to me.
These sickness can be tricky, like Pete from Mickey Mouse Club House. They can make you think that you don’t want to be around anymore or that everyone else would be happier if you went away. My sickness convinced me of that last night.
I tried to leave and I’m so sorry I did. I want you to know that I love you enough to stay, but sometimes my mind gets too cloudy for me to see that. I promise it won’t happen again.

Dear Little Sister,
It happened again.

Dear Little Sister,
I love you. I love everything about you. I love the way you put your ear to my chest and say “sissy, I can hear your heart beep”. I love how you wiggle your toes as you are falling asleep, just like I do. I even love it when you steal half of my cheesecake and pretend the dog ate it, even though we don’t have a dog.
There is nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe, happy and healthy. Even if it meant losing everything I love. Even if I had to die for it.
That is why, my love, you cannot have another piece of candy.

Dear Little Sister,
I’m leaving today.
I know what your thinking- and its’ not like before.
I can come back from place I am going. I’ll still live in this world with you rather than in the ground, you don’t have to say goodbye.
I’m going to live in this place so that I can grow taller and I might be a little different the next you see me, but I’ll still be the person who picked you up when cried in the middle of the night all those years ago.
When you were very little I promised that I’d always protect you, and that is still true. Don’t doubt that for a single second. The only difference is that now I’ll be doing it from affair, think of me as your guardian angel. You may not often see me, but I’m still there.
I know that you hear daddy talk about how easy it is for me to go, but that is not true. My heart is breaking, leaving you feels like leaving a piece of myself behind. And if I could stay I would, but I’m not meant for this place anymore.
I love you.
I have since the moment I saw you.
Thank you for being born, even if you were very very late.
Love,
Emma
Ricki T Feb 1
I am living as static
amongst a chaotic mess
I am living as shy
amongst a world of socialites

my sister,
she is living as charisma
she is living as the current

I am living as a shadow,
not to her, but something else
I am living in fiction,
as she makes them laugh with brilliant, life-time diction

she is living as she goes,
doing all things she knows she knows

I am living half; she's whole
I am living as a fool

she is living half; I'm whole
she is living as a fool

I am living as I go
doing all things I know I know

she is living as a shadow,
not to me, but something else
she is living in fiction,
as I make them laugh with brilliant, life-time diction

I, her sister,
am living as charisma
I am living as the current

she is living as static
amongst a chaotic mess.
she is living as shy
amongst a world of socialites
Not from envy or an insult, we're just simply parallel
What makes you feel beautiful?
No I don't mean Make-up And high heels
I mean looking at your best friend, and getting the feels

I mean
Rainbows on a cloudy day
Or
Rays of sun through window panes

I know what makes me Feel Beautiful
Raindrops on roses
A completed work of art,
Warm apple cider
And bumble bees
Or my sisters smile

My sisters smile
My sister is warm apple cider on a cold winter night
My sister is a work of art
My sister is a rainbow
She is the sun, and I her moon
She brings me light when I am lost in the darkness
and cannot find my way
My sister,
Is my best friend
And she makes me feel beautiful
Jey Blu Jan 23
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my sister lies in a hospital bed after a suicide attempt.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
yesterday i was at the mall while my sister was rushed to the er.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she swallowed a bottle of pills yesterday to try to make the hurt go away.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
her heart rate went down too low.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she needed me when i wasn't there.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my nightmares have become a reality.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she's not dead, but she isn't alive.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the demons lurk in her eyes and i want them gone as much as she does.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she looked so pale with the charcoal staining her tongue black.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i sit here with a blade and consider breaking my promise.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i continue to repeat these lines.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
maybe it's a mantra, but it feels like my last words.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i want her back home.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the desperation in my soul begins to surface.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
come home soon squish.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
otherwise i might join you in that hospital bed.
She's out of danger and healthy enough for now. But the mental hospital isn't home.
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