“Drugs are all fun and games until you watch someone you love become someone you don’t know.”
She called her daughter a bitch today
Something she said she’d never do
She treats her boyfriend better than her child
And she can’t even see it
Her lies fly out of her mouth like it’s been recited to perfection
And I’m tired of listening to them
I wish that my mothers life wasn’t so fucked
So that my sisters could’ve had something
I wish for a lot of things
But a family is what I want the most
I wish I could tell them all how much I love them
But how do I do that
When the drugs are so strong that they can’t see past it?
When the need is so strong they’ll do anything to be high
And I know I should try and help
But how do you help someone who doesn’t want help?
How am I supposed to do all these things
When I’m only one person?
How do I tell them that their life will be shit
If they don’t pick it up and do something with it?
You are a very special friend,
That stands out from the rest.
There is something about you,
That just makes you the best.
Although we two have never met,
You have become so dear.
The words you write to me each day,
Brings you so very near.
To me you are more like family,
Then just an online friend.
You are my cyber sister,
And I love the time we spend!
Together we find the time to laugh,
To make each other smile.
It's good to know that someone cares,
If only for awhile.
On the days I'm feeling blue & sad,
A shoulder you do lend.
You do your best to cheer me up,
With the happy thoughts you send.
May our father bless our friendship,
As I thank him every day.
For YOU my cyber sister,
As each day to him I pray.
have you ever said a word
over and over and over again,
until it sounds like a jumble of sounds
or read it over and over so much that
the letters swim and blur
until the word looks and sounds so ridiculous,
foreign on your ears,
like it suddenly doesn't mean anything..
its just a pile of letters and a gurgle of your voice?
that's what your name is now to me.
its been so long....
that i never had to say it over and over
or read it a million times....
you just faded away.
tis a sad day indeed when family turns to strangers.
when you look into the face that you have loved for years
and only see uncertainty and distance.
you know what I'm talking about....
when you dress up for their visits.
and worry what they think.
where stiff conversations
and insincere smiles dwell.
I cannot remember a time with out you...
yet I find my self unsure as to how to spell your name.
I cannot remember our last laugh.
not these pretentious giggles
but cheek burning, tummy clutching, eyes tearing laughter.
I cant clearly see your face. hear your voice.
I cant remember your catch phrases. your jokes.
I know not your friends, nor where you sleep at night.
what has caused this heart wrenching chasm to form?
I have loved you!
Where are you?
I have fought, kicked and screamed with and for you,
who do you fight for now?
What severed these bonds we swore would never brake?
was it me?
was I not there?
did I send you away?
Oh the heart breaking pain...
I would do anything for you,
although I know not the person you have become.
I would die for you.
and I do... a little more each day.
would you do the same?
why did you leave me?
I am your sister, your blood,
yet you are no where in sight.
I miss you..... oh God I miss you.
tell me and i will fix it.
I swear i will,
because, dear sister i miss you
so much that it hurts.
I wake up at night
and I wounder, are you still alive?
If so then why do i feel so empty.
tis a sad day when your name falls from my lips
and sounds clumsy. as if it didn't belong.
I miss you...
What happened to you?
to our bond?
was it I who did you wrong?
s i s t e r
The darling rose
The sparkling star
I know we fight sometimes and we don't always agree
But when I smile at you, it means I love you
All those times we went out on dates, they were perfect
All those times we yelled at each other, probably not so good
Trust me when I say this:
I love you now, I will love you tomorrow
When the sun rises tomorrow, I will be here for you
If anyone tried to hurt you, I'd be there for you
We try to out-compete each other and tear each other down
We cry about the same things when we fall asleep
The glowing sunset
The crisp snowfall
You are my sister
You are my same blood
I held your hand when you were little
Don't you forget how much I love you
And don't you forget the depth of my friendship with you
I wasn't done talking
You said it wasn't stopping
Bleeding is what you answered with
I stopped talking
As did you
We didn't know what we were doing
Now I think it is better
I can laugh and smile now
As can you
Our love has changed
I am not sad and neither are you
We lost the love we used to have
We love even stronger now
It is better
I call you sister
amidst cavorting delightfully, enjoying thorough
frolicking gingerly, foreign hick hating slo
hip-hopping insouciantly sustaining row
biological status quo
kvetching lamely moreso mother became pro
naturally physically rumbling,
heard all the way in Oslo
supposedly twerking, undulating vivaciously
wantonly x2c wisely yielded – nada no
zona pellucida anchored byte size seaman,
potent embryonic fetal moe
newlweds nocturnal merriment
moma's Menses marked march 1959
lovingly joyusly, insemination happened ha low
bullseye clenched diploid fertilization
guaranteed germinating heiress
while squaqking lichen Apache at Diablo
ma late mother did should know
upon awakening upon tautly stretched exertion
during dilating cervix, which jiggled like jello
three score orbitz round el sol, warmed cockles
and muscled away brutally cold degrees
tab billed an igloo,
or circa six decades
drafted exuberant ho...ho...ho...
cuz, i.e. thencee at 362nd day
baby in belly did fully grow
December first nineteen fifty seven
sanctioned newly minted papa
to sing a capella for he's a jolly good fellow
kickstarter heady everflow
though wintry dark,
a “hi” beam illuminated
newborn girl with dayglow
sans, mechanical engine ear
papa (an honorably discharged army vet)
all spit and shine groom,
who wed a bride somewhat callow
first time parents with giddiness did saul fully bellow
Boyce and Harriet Harriet countenance
twas (like an elf on Christmas eve) all aglow.
Dear Sis – I knew not what else to do
thus, this poem crafted fur ewe
a doe ting maternal gal – whose time on Earth flew
I found your bracelet in my underwear drawer.
I put it there because I wanted it to be surrounded by delicate things,
And it reminded me of the way you pushed back that blue hair
With one fell swoop.
It reminded me of the gentle way you'd wrap me
In your arms and whisper in my cold ears,
"You're my best friend."
It reminded me of the way you so softly laid in that tub,
Porcelain skin shining and glassy doll eyes.
You were delicate.
Like the way those soft pin pricks lined your fleshy skin
I wanted what was left of your delicacy,
To be surrounded by beauty.
Because beauty is only found in pictures now
And delicacy is only how you live inside my chest.
The time has gone
and so does our bond.
One day we'll go again
and all this won't go in vain.
It's best if we don't breed
if for most of the time
we let our sisters
and brothers bleed.
Give me a wild poetry
I'll bow out quietly.
Show me a pale bigotry
I'll grow out saintly.
You're the last messiah
I am the last pariah
well teach me something else
before I disappear.
every death of my weary cells.