There was a certain comfort in the time I spent Sitting against a wall outside in the cold They don’t tell you what its like to freeze to death But here’s what wishing you would is like
The trees sway with another chilling breeze There’s a little stinging pain in my toes Its been about 20 minutes out here My feet are the only things cold I'm thinking Way too much about how the frost feels My hands become red a little icy itch not quite numbing my fingers
Another 20 minutes go by and I can feel the cold travel I have no intention of leaving I don’t want to Maybe i’ll stay all night
An hour in my feet are cold on the outsides My ankle is freezing I adjust my earbud and look up to the sky My breath can be seen in the air I think about my mother finding my body Bitten blue with winter
2 hours in and my feet are starting to ache Its an interesting feeling Almost like I’ve broken a bone but can’t quite feel it I don’t want to be here anymore Not outside, id love to stay in the icy air all night But here, in front of my so called home Filled with my so-called family I’d like to be staying somewhere else Somewhere where they aren’t Somewhere where the people who care about me Are all far far away And if I die, they know in a few days Not right away If I’m sick they’ll send a gift card And call so many times I’ll have to turn off the phone
So maybe I’ll just sit here And let nature have its way with me Because I'm not ready to go back in And live in a “family”
More about the night i overdosed. I'm falling back into this mindset and its drowning me.
Frosty air, crystal laugh. It’s unfair, when a puff— a white cloud—is allowed to break free. I don’t see why it would ever wish to escape. So, I kiss your chapped lips to hide, to keep the puff inside.