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I don't know how to love you,
But I've tried, so hard,
Everyone in my building knows,
Out there in the streets,
And in the roads and tides,
Heaven and hell,
They all know I've tried;
Ronin Mar 19
you only learn to
appreciate your life
when you’re in a hospital bed
vomiting your guts out
praying to god
(you’re not even religious)
to please let you live,
just one more chance.
i’ll take care of myself from now on.
xandra Dec 2020
the way
that i spent
nearly countless hours of
my precious time
psychoanalyzing
nonexistent nuances
in any
desperate attempt
to escape the silent shouting
void around me;
only to be left
in the same void once more
the moment i got
an ounce of clarity.
~it's astounding, but not in the good way
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I have been trying to control the need
Escape ruthless desire
Hide fears within quiet looks
Start to falter and tire
For each time you leave my side
Another day crumple into a ball
Try to stand up by myself
Every attempt immediately fall
Way too wobbly to carry own weight
Legs always buckle and cave
Powerful devotion I feel for you
Holds me captive
A slave
When I try to regain balance I just get even unsteadier
He is scared that I'll go someplace he can't reach me,
So he's chosen not to connect at all.
I do not intend to be absent,
But I wish he knew
It hurts equally to regret love not given
As it does to lose love you've given your all.
Regretting time not spent and care not shown
Is a special kind of hell I do not wish upon him.
Sarah Flynn Oct 2020
lean in to kiss me
without my permission,

and you will regret it.


you will never know
the taste of my toothpaste
or my last drink.

you will never get to
taste that power.

you will only taste the iron
in your own blood
when my fist collides
with your jaw.

you will see my fist,
and then you
will see darkness.


but unless I
give you permission,

you will never
see my skin.
Lexx Sep 2020
it sang the melancholy tune of regret
of frustration
the small breeze of a promise that it would all get better
the pain would subside
the failure of my breath would discontinue
i maybe could breathe up in the clouds
or down in the dirt
where fresh flowers are wilted
but the smell still captures the air

but then i thought of you
and i realized your face when you found out
and i couldn't bear
to fail you again.
CW: suicide attempt
Casey Jul 2020
The fact was, I didn’t want to because I was afraid of addiction.

But then I had this thought—
1. if you do it right, it’ll only be once so you won’t have to worry about that.

That’s how it all starts, right?

2. Just this once,
you swear it to yourself,
only one time.


Except we all know it’s never just once.


3. You don’t even want to, but at this point it’s become more sort of a, “Why not?”.

4. Staggered footsteps and a headache later, you forget your feelings.
Regret doesn’t matter when you’re too busy giggling at the spinning ceiling about nothing.


5. But then you crash.

And you’re tired.
You’re so ******* tired.


6. Rinse and repeat.
Don’t do drugs kiddos.

P.S. Renny if you’re reading this it’s about CoFFeE.
Casey Apr 2020
Today,
1 year ago,

I killed her.
whelp.

9:00 pm, to be exact
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