you only learn to appreciate your life when you’re in a hospital bed vomiting your guts out praying to god (you’re not even religious) to please let you live, just one more chance. i’ll take care of myself from now on.
the way that i spent nearly countless hours of my precious time psychoanalyzing nonexistent nuances in any desperate attempt to escape the silent shouting void around me; only to be left in the same void once more the moment i got an ounce of clarity. ~it's astounding, but not in the good way
I have been trying to control the need Escape ruthless desire Hide fears within quiet looks Start to falter and tire For each time you leave my side Another day crumple into a ball Try to stand up by myself Every attempt immediately fall Way too wobbly to carry own weight Legs always buckle and cave Powerful devotion I feel for you Holds me captive A slave
When I try to regain balance I just get even unsteadier
He is scared that I'll go someplace he can't reach me, So he's chosen not to connect at all. I do not intend to be absent, But I wish he knew It hurts equally to regret love not given As it does to lose love you've given your all. Regretting time not spent and care not shown Is a special kind of hell I do not wish upon him.
it sang the melancholy tune of regret of frustration the small breeze of a promise that it would all get better the pain would subside the failure of my breath would discontinue i maybe could breathe up in the clouds or down in the dirt where fresh flowers are wilted but the smell still captures the air
but then i thought of you and i realized your face when you found out and i couldn't bear to fail you again.