What a wonderful world, where people can come to life
A place, where ones like me lead like a butter through a knife
A land, where people like us, they're lead by the meek
A land, where all I can call myself is just weak
I have so many memories of this place that I'll never share
Seeing things, learning things, but to talk of them I'd never dare
All my memories will be lost in time, just like yours or theirs
That's just how the average tiny man in this world fares
A land, where all of us live only to learn and then die
Where that knowledge isn't shared, it's just yours or mine
Where we raise our sons and daughters not knowing our fate
After this, living in a fair, equal world is something I'd hate
Mother... father... you've raised someone such as yourselves
Someone who's ripe for this world's picking, someone well
I must thank all ancestors for making us so wretched
It's easier for us and the world to bury the hatchet
I don't hate you anymore, mom and dad.
You made me willing to die right.
"maybe i’m stupid.”
oh child, you are!
when you were small all you knew was screaming and so you did it constantly, and you kept me up all night when in the morning i had work and eventually i screamed back from my room, but you didn’t care and that was stupid. i had to hold your hand as you walked because you couldn’t do it by yourself, you tripped over your own tiny feet and shat in your pants and that was stupid. you told your uncle he looked black after he’d gotten a spray tan and child that was stupid, but what does stupid got to do with anything now? stupid is an excuse, and when you left him he used it too, holding back stupid tears saying it was so stupid of him but he’ll never do it again, just like your father did before the little rat was ever a thought in his own father’s head. forget him, because he’s stupid too, and focus on yourself, you who clawed your way out of my womb, lit me on fire and burnt me up till i was the sun. scream some bloody murder again if you need to, it's been years since i've heard your voice caught in hysterics. let it crack in anger, dummy, come on, didn't i raise you to be mad?
"of course you aren't stupid," just like i'm not a liar.
I used to say I’d be nothing like him
A mama’s girl, fierce and fearless
But there is fear.
I am afraid of what I feel
Of the anger that swells
Of my inability to stop the tide
Of the time my mother and I fought
And she whispered
you’re just like your father
I am afraid of evolution.
A slow process
That can change a harmless thing
Into something else entirely
I don’t want to be that something
But in my head a voice tells me
You can’t deny your roots
And by roots I mean a grave
That dug itself into the earth when I was born
And waits for me still
When will I become your sickness
An emotional minefield where no one walks
A sadness that makes my feet drag
I refuse to become the person I fear
Because although evolution cannot be stopped
I am the mutation.
And I will not become the man who brought me here.
I'm tired and your tired too
Coming to see me now and then. When
You have the time
Your tired and I don't blame you
I can't explain this type of tiredness
It's not a seasonal thing. It doesn't come
When the season comes
It doesn't disappear when the season
Is over. It kind of lingers
This tiredness permeats into the body
Sort of alien ever so slowly overwhelmed
Me and I'm powerless against the body
The mind is tired the eyes are tired. The
Limbs are tired too
Wearing the same old clothes and the same
Not that she can't effort to buy me new
Clothes. Right now I don't need to
I'm tired and your tired too
The same old folks friends the same old
Faces greeted me the same breakfast
Welcome me every morning and I'll be
Glad she comes and bring along her kids
To see their granddad
I can sit in the living room and watched TV
I can be by the window watched the grass grow
I can hear the birds singing the cock crow
I can hear the wind blow
I can't wait for you to show up
I know you're busy I don't want to interrupt
I'm tired and your tired too
And l longed to go back home. But I'll be
Alone all the time. I don't want to bother
You now I know you're busy. I know
Your tired and I'm tired too
Under the dark serene night and the star's flickering light
A stroll with you will make me forget the world
A gentle kiss from you leaves the time frozen
Melodies flow through my veins listening to your voice
Like an oyster containing a precious pearl
There you are in my arms, my beautiful little girl
I’m sick of crying ‘fore a scene
In a delivery room
When the father who was obscene
Realizes his sperm went through
It came and dried and released it
A child into the world it perforated
My mother’s belly. A decision an incision
Paternity eternity morality depravity
The condom broke like Mom’s waters
Soft you once asked me if I had ever seen
A man’s walking dildo, Solanas is less obscene
Everything I’ve never told you is burning
Dad from 0 to 17
Bitter is the thought of your existence
Linked with a silver ink I excruciatingly link
My despair to my abhorrence
From scene to obscene I remain your sin
Your daughter I am, the third of your children
You let them fade slowly, we fend and defend
Our roots we deny you, we cry for you
Fucking pulsating cock you ain’t my end
Nov, 11, 2017
He looked at me with disgust
I was surprised he had the guts
But in the midst of my tears
I was struck with a sudden realization, a question had appeared
Was he disgust with me become of who I am?
Because of the way I carry myself?
Or was he disgusted with the creation that was his?
Was he disgusted to think that I had a little bit of him, that we shared similar mannerisms?
You should get this
but I don't
Let me help you!
More like let me laugh at you while I fail
Everybody else gets it, why don't I?
I guess that's it
There's a quiz
"Until you guys do your job"
Sorry that I don't get it
Sorry that I'm stupid
Is that what I should say when you look me in the eye
Tell me that I make mistakes that should only happen in lower school
Thanks I guess?
He says I must hate math
I say I don't
I just hate him
I hate you too
I kept my mouth shut
I don't need to say that
I shouldn't say that
Him and him are so similar
I hate it
I hate them