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Like my father once said,
"Use ‘em and leave ‘em,
but never, ever bring ‘em
home with yuh, son."
Suhayb Oct 10
As the seconds stretch to miles,
I forget each laugh, each smile.
Now all I see is your empty face.
Once a joyful playground,
Now a desolate waste.
If only we could have a day together.
An hour, a minute, a single pure moment.
If only there were time.

A million specs of dust
Swirling in the rays of dawn.
They lead me back,
From ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
To the tears on that rainy morn.


You always used to love the rain.
I'd bring your coat but you were already out
the door, your arms apart.
Letting each raindrop reach your heart.

I lie upon the warm beach,
The sand sifting through my fingers,
Like the time that has escaped me.
It went so fast, until you were gone.
Now every second feels a thousand years long.
If only each grain,
Could remove some pain,
And replace it with a moment with you.

You stared out at the endless sea,
The day you were diagnosed, and asked
What's on the other side of the world?
I said, my girl,
That's for you to explore.
Open your heart, let your mind soar.
If only you had the time to spread your wings and fly.
Or even a chance to try.
If you had time, you would, you knew that you should,
If only you could.
If only, there were time.
I was the light you had to vanquish
Just like your light once was
For I was too much like you
To ever earn your love

I’m sorry for what you went through
They were wrong to take your smile
But being haunted by your own monsters
Does NOT give you the right to be mine.
You became the monster under the bed. Never will I do to my children what you did to yours.
Desire rod Oct 4
It’s peace
I keep lingering around
It’s the freedom of speech and prayer that keep the demons away
Its all the love and mercy he gives that now I’m found
i need some water
to quench my thirsty pain
it has refused to stop swelling
within the gaps around my ribs
forming hard bubbles
as it swallows me in
cocoons me safely into
stiff crooked mazes
dark heartless halls
all of which my mind makes for fun
barriers extended, walls constructed
to let out
only segments  
of hell

this weak and cracked silver dryland
can’t begin no shiny harvest
the crops will die
the hope will follow
the soil is weak the words are hollow
my sweet, my love, how are you doing?
i’m fine, i’m fine, i’m doing fine
i sew my tongue into the roof of my mouth
and bend my lips into the back of my tight throat
beat stubborn tears into watery eyes
and blame the wind the fan spits out

mother, father - we are in a shattered season
of separate flatlands and heavy skies
will we ever be unobscured by forced laughs and family gatherings?
by hills or mountains or sunday church?

may this air force bold breath out of me and you?  
no ordinary small talk will prevent my rage any longer not my small quiet voice from getting larger
we need to speak of the sickness in our heads
or we surely will die
on separate flatlands
on words unsaid
Caitlin Sep 27
If only daughter knew how much her mother loves her. If only mother knew how to express that to her.

If only daughter knew how much father loves her. If only he'd address that to her.

But father broke mothers’ heart in two with broken promises and bottle caps too.

A bottle for pleasure a bottle for pain, it wasn’t long before mother and father drank again.

There’s never any harm they said in just one or two. But daughter knew three and four were coming all too soon.

Daughter felt confused as to why mother would drink what split her parents in two. Would the bottle come between her and mother too?

Daughter couldn’t fathom how father could do this. The family unit daughter surely missed.

Father had been quite angry now for some time. Daughter didn’t know why he sometimes dulled her shine.

Mother was no longer sure what to do to keep her mind at peace. How would she fix the shattered heart that had broken first in two, then slowly piece by piece?

Daughter at times wondered the same, how could she make mothers heart whole again. But she lost hope for some time, had words stuck bouncing back and forth in her mind that she wanted to say so badly. She wanted to scream so loudly.

But her parents ears had been cut off by a blade of sorrow, anger and stress. Daughter began to quickly regress. Withdrawal. No binge would rid her of the pain at all, and now daughter is confused too. She often feels as if her only friends are her journal and the moon.

She tries to keep her darkness at bay, a mess at night, a peach by day. She is successful for a short time until the darkness she carried overpowered her shine and she knew this was not who she was supposed to be. How would she rediscover her divinity?

Long story short, she soul searched far and wide and began to forgive herself for letting the darkness inside.

Soon enough she forgave mother and father too and now she wishes that they knew how much she loves them too.
Liz Carlson Sep 25
Father,
help me to lose control more
as foolish as that may sound,
help me be at peace with
giving control to you.
help me trust You and Your
oh so good plan more and more.
I am in Your hands,
so why would I not trust you?
let me let go, Father.
restore in me a peaceful heart,
one that i once had,
i know with you it's not impossible.
Philomena Sep 24
I know I'm not perfect
Not even close
But in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
I'll give it my all
I wont break nor bow
And yes my dear I refuse to fall
Liz Carlson Sep 23
Father, keep me wise.
Keep my eyes on You.
Life is moving way too fast.
So much good around me.
I see You everywhere.
In a stranger's smile,
in the wind blowing through the trees,
I see You holding my hand.
But even with all the good,
evil seeps in.
Keep my mind and heart pure.
Protect me from Satan and his darts.
Through You, I know I am safe.
With You by my side, I can do so much more than on my own.
There's never a moment when You're not near my heart.
Keep me wise, Father.
Keep me safe.
Keep my eyes on You, let not the world take over my heart, only you, Lord.
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