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1.2k · Aug 2023
Laedere
A M Ryder Aug 2023
I'm telling you
That it hurt
And you don't
Get to deny that

When a person
Tells you that
You hurt them
You don't get
To decide that
You didn't
1.1k · Dec 2021
2 Santas
A M Ryder Dec 2021
When two Santas
Enter a room
Things can get
Ruthless
1.1k · Oct 2019
Evergreen
A M Ryder Oct 2019
Evergreen, or nearly so
The last rays of light broke
Through little branches and
Whether we admit it or not
We put forth great effort
Just to conceal what's inside
Our own minds
1.1k · Dec 2019
A Pale Blue Presence
A M Ryder Dec 2019
As our pale blue presence
Dizzily dances
In the same single sunbeam
Restless over how alone
We really are

So sing at the finish line
Sing that sweet swan song
Because all shall become nothing
And in the nothingness
We are lost

The totality of time
With every moment spent
But that was then
And now it's gone
Im not sure where it went
1.1k · Aug 2019
The Arrow
A M Ryder Aug 2019
The arrow endures
The bow string's tension
So that in the release
It can become
More than itself
1.1k · Dec 2019
Necks
A M Ryder Dec 2019
There are two kinds of people
Sharks and
sheep

Sharks are winners
They never look back
Because they have no necks

Necks are for sheep
1.1k · Nov 2021
Cor Confractus
A M Ryder Nov 2021
I know how
Dark it Is
For you right now
You're in hell
And the only
Way out is
Through a long
Dark tunnel
And you're afraid
To go in
Because there's
A train coming
At you carrying
A boxcar
Full of heartbreak

And all you
Can do is
Let it
Hit you
1.0k · Oct 2020
A Cure
A M Ryder Oct 2020
You drink
You drive
And ruthlessly try
To have a good time

Down slicken oil streets
Pavement like a pistol
To my temple, meets

The cure to my cancer
And the answer
To my every problem
1.0k · Nov 2023
Memoria
A M Ryder Nov 2023
When all
You have
Are memories,
Who will
Remember you?
1.0k · Dec 2021
Ours is War
A M Ryder Dec 2021
The first step is
Radical honesty
With ourselves

We don't intervene
We invade

That's not
"Collateral damage"
Those are
The corpses
Of children
And their parents

Ours is not defense
Ours is war
1.0k · Jul 2022
Ignorantia
A M Ryder Jul 2022
All I believe in
Is that no one
Knows anything
I believe in
Sheer ignorance
Anybody that
Claims to know
Something
It's like
"How could you?"
We're clueless
995 · Jun 2019
Considerate but Reckless
A M Ryder Jun 2019
I've never wanted to be the hero
And surely I know
You were never any damsel in distress

So leave saving mankind
To the chumps in tights
We wear leather *****
And no seatbelts when we ride

Take the sands of time
And diamonds in our minds
Slinging silver and silk
In a world we've defined
983 · Apr 2019
Relationships
A M Ryder Apr 2019
In romantic relationships
You speak Latin
And your empire falls

In platonic relationships
You speak Greek
And think about caves
979 · Nov 2020
Almost
A M Ryder Nov 2020
It's a big word for me
I feel it everywhere
Almost home
Almost happy
Almost changed
Almost, but not quite
Not yet
Soon, maybe
969 · Apr 2019
Groceries
A M Ryder Apr 2019
Bagging groceries has given me
A strange window into people's lives

I stuff their secrets into a paper sack
And I tell them to have a good day

But I'm not sure they do
949 · Dec 2019
Too Late for Me?
A M Ryder Dec 2019
Do you think it's too late for me?
I mean, am I doomed to be
The person that I am?
It's not too late for me
Is it?

I need you to tell me
That it's not too late
I need you to tell me
That I'm a good person

I know I can be selfish
And narcissistic
And self destructive but
Deep down, underneath all of that
I'm a good person

And I just need you to tell me
That I'm good
941 · Aug 2018
People Forget
A M Ryder Aug 2018
You should
Never say
"I love you"
If you don't
Mean it
But if you
Do mean it
You should
Say it often,
People forget
933 · Aug 2023
Mors Facilis
A M Ryder Aug 2023
In a senseless
Explosion of
Sound, you are
Reduced to a
Crawling thing
On the margins of
A disintegrating
World with a
Lush numbness
And peace that
Lulls the mind
Making death
Seem so easy
932 · Dec 2023
Gecko
A M Ryder Dec 2023
If you cut a
Gecko's tail off
It'll grow back

If you do
It again
The gecko
Would be like
"Dude.."
876 · Mar 2021
Loss
A M Ryder Mar 2021
Loss is
a collaborative art
Between the people
Who leave us
And those
who remain
We dance with
the shadows
Of their absence
869 · Aug 2019
Lost Sight of the Sun
A M Ryder Aug 2019
Sing the beloved
Young lover, from far away
Often, desire the night
It overtakes us
In an endless uproar
We soon lost sight of the sun
Listen as it makes itself hollow
Where are the years between
You and the surging abyss
Lay there relieved with the sweetness
Of a gentle world made for you
Dreaming, flushed with what fevers
Entangled in the tendrils
Of inner event
845 · Aug 2018
Into What?
A M Ryder Aug 2018
We have no place to go but into the light
Born into lives casted off and undefined
We get so busy living lives on circadian loan
Hoping to forget that not one among us is owed another dawn
So we count our memories like blessings
Closing our eyes as each one goes by
Painting stories seldom told of the air we can't get back
And of the lives we'll never know
831 · Apr 2024
Amor Sicut Deus
A M Ryder Apr 2024
He asks me if
I believe in angels
And before I realize
I don't have the heart
To tell him, I tell him
"Not Lately.."
And just wait
For him to hate me

But he doesn't
Know how to
So he never does
Loving like a man
In the time
Before God gave
Man religion and
Left it to them to
Figure out
What hate was
793 · Aug 2021
Pretending
A M Ryder Aug 2021
I don't pretend
To be anything
That I'm not

Except for
Sober

I've pretended to
Be sober
A few times
752 · Apr 2024
Circo Da Alma
A M Ryder Apr 2024
You scramble amid
The shattered
Jagged facets
Of yourself
A circus show
Of a hollow soul

Dreamshards
Timepieces
You caught a
Falling star
In a dead field
And it twisted
Life-like
In your grip
751 · Nov 2020
Wealth
A M Ryder Nov 2020
Seems unreal
And abstract
A string of zeros
That exists in some
Strange place
Of its own
740 · Aug 2018
Just Enough Beer
A M Ryder Aug 2018
Nights of solitude, with just enough beer, and the science of laughing through the tears..
In the end I couldn't tell if we'd been so different from the beginning or if our indifference over time had simply made us so...
You know, Japanese culture has this ancient art called "Kintsukuroi" where broken pottery is repaired with gold or silver to demonstrate the understanding that the piece is more beautiful for having been broken
735 · Oct 2019
Ataraxia
A M Ryder Oct 2019
Just as perfect
As the music is painful
They took their time
Piece by piece
Placing every star
Casting out the constellations bright
And you alike
To the furthest reaches
But never too far
These perfect points set
So you never forget who you are
717 · Sep 2019
Mechanical Wings
A M Ryder Sep 2019
We flew aloft
On mechanical wings
And suddenly the heavens
Were within reach
To those who could
Build the machines
That could take them there
703 · Apr 2024
Felix Pauci
A M Ryder Apr 2024
We are going
To die and
That makes us
The lucky ones

In the teeth
Of these
Stupefying
Odds, it is
You and I
In our
Ordinariness
That are here

The needle won't
Reach the record
And that's ok
We reach for
What to say
As the silence
Grows too strong
Yet nothing ever
Remains within
Forever is
Far too long
696 · Dec 2019
Favorite End
A M Ryder Dec 2019
So another
For the writer
Another bottle
All by myself
To soak my soul
And drench any
Dream or hope
Of a happy life
I might have
Had left
683 · Apr 2024
Bellum
A M Ryder Apr 2024
You see that?
That's a whole
City on fire
The war will
End.. soon
But before
That, a lot
More people
Have to die
680 · Sep 2018
A Storm and the Stars
A M Ryder Sep 2018
A storm and the stars
Everywhere it would
Echo the song
Of sheltering silence

The dream of
What's ahead
The dawns, how
They turn into days
Fate, the blissful chase

Enduring crosses
Completely, These
Extravagances
Of the heart
Even the nearest
Moment is far
650 · Sep 2024
Corvus
A M Ryder Sep 2024
Creatures of
The night
Speaking only in
The language of
Wings in flight
Raucous caws and calls
Such stark delights
Their bird brains
A substance
To behold
They play and
They learn as
Ancient tales often told
They are symbols
Of fate and omens,
And "What's to be"
Guiding us along
Paths unknown
And simply unseen
637 · Aug 2018
The Blue Bird of Happiness
A M Ryder Aug 2018
Find the blue bird of happiness
Find it, and be cured
A simple task he says, one of three
I'm not sure what the next will be
But he'll tell me
He'll tell me..
618 · Jul 2023
Dolor
A M Ryder Jul 2023
Hurt people
Hurt people
And the majesty
Of this tragedy
Is the precious
Knowledge of
Our own
Self Destruction
616 · Dec 2018
What is the Feeling?
A M Ryder Dec 2018
So if you really go the whole way and
See how you feel about the prospect of vanishing forever
If all your efforts and all your achievements and
All your attainments, turning into dust
Into nothingness..
What is the feeling?
What happens to you?
It's a curious thing
The most real state is the state of nothingness
That's what it's all going to come to
584 · May 2019
Together Completely
A M Ryder May 2019
When you are together
Be together completely
Let them know
That they are loved
Until they begin to understand
What that actually feels like
And then keep on with it
Loyal by nature
Be rest assured
That they'll stick around
So let me scale your walls and
Be close enough to love you
And carefully search for
Signs of the surest routes
To your golden heart
582 · Nov 2024
Qui Sumus
A M Ryder Nov 2024
If only they asked us who we were
Instead of what we hoped to be
Perhaps the tides of life would stir
And drown the myth of destiny

We walked where others led
Convinced the end was worth the pain
But found the paths we hoped to tread
Were mirrored trails that looped in vain

Who we are was never asked
And who we are, we'll never know
A shadow cast, a question masked
By what they'd hope we'd choose to show

Who decides what form we take?
What mold could hold the restless mind?
The world, it seems, must bend or break
Yet asks the broken to be kind

On we marched, a scripted role
Each line rehearsed, each step aligned
But with every act, we dug a hole
And buried parts we'll never find

Deep beneath the guise
When all ambition fades away
We'll find no answers, just the lies
We told ourselves a long the way

The void, at last, will fill the space
Where questions hung and answers fled
It cares not of our time, or our place
It gazes back and calls us dead

So in the end, when the silence grows
And all masks are cast away
The self we left unloved, will show
And greet us as if we never strayed
578 · Aug 2018
Sinking Ship
A M Ryder Aug 2018
I mean yeah
The ship is sinking
But the music
Is exceptional
A M Ryder Aug 2018
You ever try counting the stars?
I can't ever get the same number twice
They keep changing on me
I'm not even entirely sure what a star is
Well my body knows,
It's my mind that has forgot
554 · Jun 2019
We always were
A M Ryder Jun 2019
We did something today
That everyone said was impossible
We fought and clawed our way
Out of the abyss and into the promise land

And we did it not because
We became Champions again
But because we remembered
We always were

Today represents the rebirth
We rose from the ashes
And sometimes you have to come
To the brink of destruction
Before redemption can be truly earned
546 · Jun 2019
Untitled
A M Ryder Jun 2019
You know, it's funny
We never anticipate the ways
We're gonna isolate ourselves
From the ones we care about
546 · Apr 28
Salvum Te
A M Ryder Apr 28
You all have
A little bit of
"I want to save the world!"
In you

I just want you to know
That it's ok
If you only save
One person
And it's okay
If that person
Is you
539 · Aug 2018
Bulletproof
A M Ryder Aug 2018
We wanted to be bulletproof
MC's with M-16's and enough money to buy our freedom from the very same blocks we bragged about in our verses
We weren't hypocrites, we were just literate in the language of loss
We weren't rich, but we knew some people were and that they seemed to laugh a lot more often.
I don't laugh all that often anymore..
I'm not sure when we forgot that we were giants
537 · Aug 2019
Kids
A M Ryder Aug 2019
The kids are going to do
What they want to do
They may have just ruined their lives
On an impulse decision
Whose to say what works ?
You find somebody you like
And you roll the dice
That's all anybody can do
528 · Jun 2021
Googling Suicide
A M Ryder Jun 2021
Ragingly mad
Obviously depressed
Reveals secretly that
I'm coming undone

The torturous divide
Between this waking lie
And the quiet inner life

A worrisome mind

And now I'm
Googling Suicide
526 · Aug 2018
In Such Strange Ways
A M Ryder Aug 2018
In such strange ways I strangely cannot understand
The horror of it all is we stay attracted to everything that hurts
We cling to it and never really learn to let go
So perhaps we do want happiness
But we also desire to keep the pain close; close enough to destroy us
Close enough to define us
Close enough to make us all feel a little less cold
522 · Dec 2019
Matches Ashes Acid
A M Ryder Dec 2019
Matches
Ashes
Acid on my casket
Buried with the hatchet
Of my fight with this life
I knew I could never hack it
521 · Oct 2019
Colors to Me
A M Ryder Oct 2019
I'll write this in blue
Because it's how I feel
And I can't help it

I'll write this in green
But I don't know what it means
I don't go outside

I'll write this in red
For everything I hadn't said
They've never really left my head

I'll write this in black
To forget all that I lack
And who I could of been
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