My ego is a fragile little thing.
It seeks comparisons in every wunderkind,
the younger the faces, the more I binge
on I can'ts and all things discouraging,
and laser focusing on the degree
of victory that I can't reach
but watch me as I spiral effortlessly!
Copyright © 2021 by S. Y. Kalindara. All rights reserved.
I know that these are really ugly emotions but I can't lie, whenever I see someone succeed at something I really want - I tend to get so depressed & insecure about my own abilities. Even though I know I've been through really tough circumstances & I haven't grown up with the privilege that some people are born with, I still tend to punish & hate myself for it. Cancer & mental illnesses have taken most of my adolescence away from me & now that I'm a young adult, I feel like I'm wasting away while also trying to catch up with everything I've missed. Every birthday seems like this dooming event instead of a celebration that I'm still alive. I don't know why it seems like if I didn't accomplish something now that I'm young, then I never will. I truly hate thinking like this & I know I shouldn't compare myself to others, I should view them as inspirations for what I want to achieve & I really should remember that dreams don't have an expiration date & it's okay if I needed to take more time & not rush things.
(p.s. follow me on instagram, if you'd like to @sykmusings ♡)
