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460 · Apr 2019
Four Letter Way
A M Ryder Apr 2019
The endless stays
Amongst the trillion ways
We feel the light and song right now

How always I know
There is love out there
By far transcending the four letter way
We say forever to each other
450 · Aug 2018
Sometimes
A M Ryder Aug 2018
Sometimes our lives are made up of the same stories with the same beginnings and the same endings and things happen the same way almost every time.
448 · Oct 2019
Puer Caritate
A M Ryder Oct 2019
It's hard not to
Completely fall for someone
Whom, without effort
Brings out the absolute
Best in you

The most beautiful thing
About young love
Is the truth
In their hearts
That it will last forever
443 · Jul 2019
Untitled
A M Ryder Jul 2019
I'd set the world ablaze
Just to watch the flames
Dance in her eyes
425 · Dec 2019
Matches Ashes Acid
A M Ryder Dec 2019
Matches
Ashes
Acid on my casket
Buried with the hatchet
Of my fight with this life
I knew I could never hack it
417 · Jun 2019
Untitled
A M Ryder Jun 2019
When all you have
Are memories

Who will
Remember you?
413 · Aug 2019
Untitled
A M Ryder Aug 2019
Let the thing
We mean to be
Know the thing
We feel we are

A bounce hustling and
Howling mysteriously
Through you

Getting older has never been
In my plans but it's never late
Enough for me to stay
A M Ryder Feb 2020
We fall into
Form fitting pieces
Of one another
Each other's own
Silent feeling

But it is all I want
To sleep still and
Dream unafraid
Aching deeply to
Drum thunder across
Vacant marble halls
Coalescing as the
Texture of the things
We all have
Trouble believing

Though it shows
Aimlessly we go
Out with lanterns
Looking for this thing
We call a soul
399 · Dec 2019
Monster Heart
A M Ryder Dec 2019
Through the October night
Moonlight on metal
An evil companion to
My monster heart
And through the pain
I feel indifferent
I grapple with
The murdered words
I can never forget
394 · Nov 2024
Qui Sumus
A M Ryder Nov 2024
If only they asked us who we were
Instead of what we hoped to be
Perhaps the tides of life would stir
And drown the myth of destiny

We walked where others led
Convinced the end was worth the pain
But found the paths we hoped to tread
Were mirrored trails that looped in vain

Who we are was never asked
And who we are, we'll never know
A shadow cast, a question masked
By what they'd hope we'd choose to show

Who decides what form we take?
What mold could hold the restless mind?
The world, it seems, must bend or break
Yet asks the broken to be kind

On we marched, a scripted role
Each line rehearsed, each step aligned
But with every act, we dug a hole
And buried parts we'll never find

Deep beneath the guise
When all ambition fades away
We'll find no answers, just the lies
We told ourselves a long the way

The void, at last, will fill the space
Where questions hung and answers fled
It cares not of our time, or our place
It gazes back and calls us dead

So in the end, when the silence grows
And all masks are cast away
The self we left unloved, will show
And greet us as if we never strayed
389 · Dec 2019
Pluto
A M Ryder Dec 2019
The problem with being happy
Is a lot like the problem with pluto
It was a vague way of
Describing a complex thing

Our sense of happiness is so fragile
It can be destroyed by simply asking whether or not it exists
Instead I'm busy
I'm interested
I'm fascinated

I want to build things
And then break them

I want to be busy and beautiful
And brimming with
Ten thousand moving parts
I want to hurt
So that I can heal

And that's okay
389 · Aug 2018
Untitled
A M Ryder Aug 2018
Nature takes lovers back as if to create them a second time
Anyone deserted might be inspired; that fierce, soaring, object-less love
Perhaps the most ancient of sufferings finally grows fruitful for us
Isn't it time we lovingly freed ourselves from the beloved?
385 · May 2020
Gogh
A M Ryder May 2020
His command of color
Most magnificent

He transformed the pain
Of his tormented life
Into ecstatic beauty

Pain is easy to portray
But to use your
Passion and pain
To portray the ecstasy and joy
And magnificence of our world

No one had ever done it before

Perhaps no one will again
382 · Jun 2019
Untitled
A M Ryder Jun 2019
Only mortals
Have told me

That it would ****
To live forever
A M Ryder Aug 2018
I just wanted you to be happy, truly. I'm just sorry it wasn't with me.
I hope you find someone who makes you feel all those lovely things you've heard on the radio and, I hope you never have to know what it's like to have to try and live without them.
You deserve something you don't have to question.
You deserve to be with someone who is sure about you.
Someone who looks at you everyday with the realization that you are everything they need.
368 · Jun 2022
Not Cool
A M Ryder Jun 2022
I never called
You my cure
But I looked at
You everyday
Like you were
The only reason
I was still alive
And that's
Just not cool
347 · Jan 2020
Hard to Forget
A M Ryder Jan 2020
Love is never learned
Until it is lost
It's so hard
To forget pain
But it's even harder
To remember sweetness

We bear no scar
To show for happiness
We learn so little
From peace
341 · Aug 2018
Need You
A M Ryder Aug 2018
My fondest memories are those of you
And listening to you sing
For moments could go unnoticed
While time drifted from the mind
You are nothing to regret
You are not a bad person
You are but only, a miracle in the making.
And soon you shall be a savior to those
Whom you used to be. They need you.
326 · Aug 2018
Perfectly Stupid Time
A M Ryder Aug 2018
I write for you
Of you
Of this nearness to
A life
Our life
And what a perfectly stupid time we could have
325 · Oct 2019
Untitled
A M Ryder Oct 2019
We buried ours
And they buried theirs
Then it started all over again
315 · Aug 2018
The Sound
A M Ryder Aug 2018
I love the sound of music a writer makes with the tip of his pen tapping on his empty glass.
It is how we still keep listening for music in silent moments.
It is how we still look for color in the darkness.
How we feel and care so much that we just might accidentally end up hopeful.
307 · Dec 2018
Nothing More Difficult
A M Ryder Dec 2018
In all my life
I have never dealt with anything
More difficult than my own soul
So what if I told you
That I'm incapable of
Tolerating my own heart
297 · Nov 2023
Medicinae
A M Ryder Nov 2023
I take drugs
To wake me
I take drugs
To sedate me
I even take drugs
To make me
Not hate me
All these drugs
Have me wondering
Lately what drugs
Ill need for
The things
That await me
275 · Jul 2022
Sweet
A M Ryder Jul 2022
I hadn't yet realized
That growing up
Was all about
Getting hurt
And I've got
Scars that say
I'll never
Really be ok
But when
You think
You're gunna
Die yesterday
Today is sweet
267 · Apr 2022
SeaWorld
A M Ryder Apr 2022
Captivity in
Concrete tanks
Takes away everything
That makes life
Worth living
Everything they
Need to do
They can't do
And everything
They don't
Want to do
They're forced to do
244 · Jun 2021
Why not?
A M Ryder Jun 2021
We did not ask for
This room
Or this music
But because
we are here
Let us dance
236 · Oct 2023
Confido
A M Ryder Oct 2023
I am happy
With not being
Worth lying to
227 · Jun 2021
Some Amount of Acid
A M Ryder Jun 2021
I open my mouth
And watch as his hand
Moves forward and puts
Some amount of acid
On to my tongue

I'll never know
How much acid
He put on my tongue

But I do know the look
On my friend's faces
Was the look that someone
Would have as they
Were watching
A person fall backwards
Into the Grand Canyon
217 · Jun 2020
So Beautiful
A M Ryder Jun 2020
This is happening
I am here
I am looking at her
And she is so beautiful
205 · Jan 2020
God
A M Ryder Jan 2020
God
Do you think god
Hides in heaven
Because he too
Lives in fear
Of what he's created?
190 · Jun 2021
A Lot Like Magic
A M Ryder Jun 2021
The magic behind magic
Isn't the illusion
It's that someone
Cared enough to
Create the illusion
For you
The real magic is all
Of the work that
Goes into making
Someone believe that
Magic is real

Love is a lot
Like magic
Two people build
A world
For themselves
And preserve it
At all costs
Together
167 · Sep 2023
Kind Words Cost Nothing
A M Ryder Sep 2023
Only a
Sunny smile
Little it cost
In giving
Like morning light
Scattering
The night
And making the
Day worth living
161 · Oct 2023
Sticks & Stones
A M Ryder Oct 2023
Sticks and stones
May break
Your bones
But you've
Never held a
Broken heart,
Have you?
160 · Jul 2022
A Thousand Times
A M Ryder Jul 2022
I must've asked him
About a thousand times
"Are you okay?"

And a thousand times
He would say
"Yeah"

Sometimes you just
Don't know
How unhappy
Someone is
129 · Sep 2023
Cupiditas
A M Ryder Sep 2023
I always
Needed more
I always needed
Something else
There was always
Just a missing
Piece to me
Being okay
126 · Jun 2021
I'll Be Part of This World
A M Ryder Jun 2021
I sent a man to
The electric chair
Awhile back
My arrest and
My testimony

The papers called it
"A crime of passion"
But he told me
There wasn't any
Passion to it
Said he'd been thinking
About killing someone
For as long as
He could remember

Said if they turned him out
He'd do it again
Said he knew
He was going to hell

I don't know what
To make of that
I wont push
My chips forward
And go out and meet
Something I don't understand

A man would have
To put his soul
At hazard

He'd have to say
"Ok, I'll be part of this world"
101 · Oct 2019
Celebramus Timorem
A M Ryder Oct 2019
Fear plays an
Interesting role
In all our lives

How dare we let it
Motivate us,
How dare we let it
Into our
Decision making,
Into our
Livelihoods,
Into our
Relationships

It's funny, isn't it?
We take a day
Each year
To dress up
In costumes
And celebrate fear
22 · 23h
Stone Age Burials
A M Ryder 23h
Their names and
Story are lost
To time but
They clearly meant
The world to someone

— The End —