When two Santas
Enter a room
Things can get
Ruthless

It seems crazy
To change something
Thats working
The horse and buggy
Was working
It seemed crazy
To stop using that

But then they
developed the car and..
Well that destroyed the planet..

So that's a bad example

You drink
You drive
And ruthlessly try
To have a good time

Down slicken oil streets
Pavement like a pistol
To my temple, meets

The cure to my cancer
And the answer
To my every problem

The world
had to stop
For this victory
I'm joyus
I'm angry
I'm still angry
I want to bring black life
Into this world without
Us having to
Do this ****
I want us
To grow old,
Be unscathed,
Be unbothered,
And flourish

Sometimes she blows
Cigarette smoke
In your face and
You call that love
Not because it is
But because
You want it to be

You're so ******* lonely
So ******* unable
To handle the
Ocean roar in your
Ears when you're alone

You tell yourself
That the ash in
Your lungs is
As good as
A kiss good night.

It's a big word for me
I feel it everywhere
Almost home
Almost happy
Almost changed
Almost, but not quite
Not yet
Soon, maybe

The magic behind magic
Isn't the illusion
It's that someone
Cared enough to
Create the illusion
For you
The real magic is all
Of the work that
Goes into making
Someone believe that
Magic is real

Love is a lot
Like magic
Two people build
A world
For themselves
And preserve it
At all costs
Together

You, you are enough
And it may have been in
A billion little pieces but
I gave you the best of me

I won't glorify or romanticize heartache
For me it was a kind of death
A kind of death that
I was forced to keep living

What I should do is put it all behind me
I wont't say it but ill think it
Because it was a love story
And all you can do is tell it one more time

And even if it happened, it didn't happen
In the end, it's about love and memory

He asks me if I believe in angels
And before I realize
I don't have the heart
To tell him, I tell him
"Not Lately.."
And just wait
For him to hate me

But he doesn't know how to
So he never does
Loving like a man
In the time before God
Gave man religion
And left it to them to
Figure out what hate was

Something is about
To happen that
We are not aware of
Our only chance
Is to keep our
Heads low and
Act like we're
Changed men
Because we're
Very close to
The end
We need to be
Okay with mysteries
And the stories
They breed
There will always be
Far more questions
Than there are
Actual answers
In this universe and
We need to be
Ok with that

In the open air of
A night still young
My imagination was
Let loose and the story
I had to tell
Seized me

Free was I to wander
The dark and witness
Mysteries unfolding in
The shadows that
Foretold the coming
Of the light

Remembering that life
Is a remarkable journey
And that we're all
Just one ray away
From being a sun
To someone

As our pale blue presence
Dizzily dances
In the same single sunbeam
Restless over how alone
We really are

So sing at the finish line
Sing that sweet swan song
Because all shall become nothing
And in the nothingness
We are lost

The totality of time
With every moment spent
But that was then
And now it's gone
Im not sure where it went

A storm and the stars
Everywhere it would
Echo the song
Of sheltering silence

The dream of
What's ahead
The dawns, how
They turn into days
Fate, the blissful chase

Enduring crosses
Completely, These
Extravagances
Of the heart
Even the nearest
Moment is far

Just as perfect
As the music is painful
They took their time
Piece by piece
Placing every star
Casting out the constellations bright
And you alike
To the furthest reaches
But never too far
These perfect points set
So you never forget who you are

I must've asked him
About a thousand times
"Are you okay?"

And a thousand times
He would say
"Yeah"

Sometimes you just
Don't know
How unhappy
Someone is

You see that?
That's a whole
City on fire
The war will
End.. soon
But before
That, a lot
More people
Have to die

We wanted to be bulletproof
MC's with M-16's and enough money to buy our freedom from the very same blocks we bragged about in our verses
We weren't hypocrites, we were just literate in the language of loss
We weren't rich, but we knew some people were and that they seemed to laugh a lot more often.
I don't laugh all that often anymore..
I'm not sure when we forgot that we were giants

Fear plays an
Interesting role
In all our lives

How dare we let it
Motivate us,
How dare we let it
Into our
Decision making,
Into our
Livelihoods,
Into our
Relationships

It's funny, isn't it?
We take a day
Each year
To dress up
In costumes
And celebrate fear

You scramble amid
The shattered
Jagged facets
Of yourself
A circus show
Of a hollow soul

Dreamshards
Timepieces
You caught a
Falling star
In a dead field
And it twisted
Life-like
In your grip

I'll write this in blue
Because it's how I feel
And I can't help it

I'll write this in green
But I don't know what it means
I don't go outside

I'll write this in red
For everything I hadn't said
They've never really left my head

I'll write this in black
To forget all that I lack
And who I could of been

I am happy
With not being
Worth lying to

I've never wanted to be the hero
And surely I know
You were never any damsel in distress

So leave saving mankind
To the chumps in tights
We wear leather *****
And no seatbelts when we ride

Take the sands of time
And diamonds in our minds
Slinging silver and silk
In a world we've defined

I know how
Dark it Is
For you right now
You're in hell
And the only
Way out is
Through a long
Dark tunnel
And you're afraid
To go in
Because there's
A train coming
At you carrying
A boxcar
Full of heartbreak

And all you
Can do is
Let it
Hit you

I always
Needed more
I always needed
Something else
There was always
Just a missing
Piece to me
Being okay

What is beautiful
About reality
Is what is beautiful
About math
There are
Many things
That have happened
The things that have
Produced this moment
Are at most times
ASTRONOMICAL
Meaning so big
It renders itself
Incomprehensible
Yet.. it happened

Even if the
Numbers against
Stand taller than
The daisy itself
Ever could
It still remains
In the meadow
For you and I
To see

We, these wing'd
Wicked things
Filth and fiends
Fearless and free
Terrors that soar
Waking you
From fevered
Dreams
Mayhem
On a whim
Fugitive as
The wind
Christened
In sin
Do you truly
Know your
Wolves within?

We are you
The madness
That lurks
Within your
Deepest animal
Mind; begging
To be free

Someone is suffering, what're you going to do?
If I have the capability to relieve them of their suffering then that is what I'm going to do
Regardless of who they are or what they're worth
It just doesn't get anymore complicated than that
When we started this, it seemed so simple
We were going to help people.
But what if those ideals can die?
What if those hopes can fade into the failure of the system?
You have to ask yourself "How do I protect the ideals I came here for?"

Hurt people
Hurt people
And the majesty
Of this tragedy
Is the precious
Knowledge of
Our own
Self Destruction

Evergreen, or nearly so
The last rays of light broke
Through little branches and
Whether we admit it or not
We put forth great effort
Just to conceal what's inside
Our own minds

Finishings can be
The hardest part
In these final steps
All the craftsmanship
Has already occured
The finishings are
Mere inevitabilities

You must
Come to terms
With the idea that  
Perfection is a
Necessary goal
Precisely because
It is unattainable

You must reconcile
Yourself to failure

It's not perfect
You have to make
Your peace with that

How?
Well..
You lay out
Your tools
And you
start again

I started isolating
Myself, used to
Say everything
I was feeling
But then I guess
I just stopped
I wanted them to
Love me for who
They thought
I was
And not who I felt
Myself becoming

Ever think about
How horrified the
People we loved
Would be if they
Found out who
We really are?
So we dig deeper
Into our lies everyday
Ultimately hurting
The only
People who
Are brave enough
To love us
Wish I was
Brave enough to
Love them back

We don't have
As much time
As we think

So another
For the writer
Another bottle
All by myself
To soak my soul
And drench any
Dream or hope
Of a happy life
I might have
Had left

We are going
To die and
That makes us
The lucky ones

In the teeth
Of these
Stupefying
Odds, it is
You and I
In our
Ordinariness
That are here

The needle won't
Reach the record
And that's ok
We reach for
What to say
As the silence
Grows too strong
Yet nothing ever
Remains within
Forever is
Far too long

How do you
Forgive yourself
For all the
Things that
You never
Became?

The endless stays
Amongst the trillion ways
We feel the light and song right now

How always I know
There is love out there
By far transcending the four letter way
We say forever to each other

My mind drifts
To that night
You streaked down
Mainstreet shouting
To the late
Night world
That you
Were free

I manage to
Barely stifle
A little laugh
But they all
Knew it was
Me, their eyes
Surely said it

In that box
You're still as
Free as you  
Were that night
And I'm just
The guy who
Laughs at his
Friend's funeral

If you cut a
Gecko's tail off
It'll grow back

If you do
It again
The gecko
Would be like
"Dude.."

Do you think god
Hides in heaven
Because he too
Lives in fear
Of what he's created?

His command of color
Most magnificent

He transformed the pain
Of his tormented life
Into ecstatic beauty

Pain is easy to portray
But to use your
Passion and pain
To portray the ecstasy and joy
And magnificence of our world

No one had ever done it before

Perhaps no one will again

Ragingly mad
Obviously depressed
Reveals secretly that
I'm coming undone

The torturous divide
Between this waking lie
And the quiet inner life

A worrisome mind

And now I'm
Googling Suicide

Bagging groceries has given me
A strange window into people's lives

I stuff their secrets into a paper sack
And I tell them to have a good day

But I'm not sure they do

Love is never learned
Until it is lost
It's so hard
To forget pain
But it's even harder
To remember sweetness

We bear no scar
To show for happiness
We learn so little
From peace

It's really humiliating
To be shaking a cup
24 hours a day
And people just look
At you like you're
Some sort of ***

I go to fill out applications
They look at me and
I'm not looking presentable
And then they
"Well, we'll call you
Leave a number"
But how can I leave a number
When I don't have a phone

It's just a struggle

I've had people
walk past me and
Say "get a job you ***"
And I said "wait a minute"
"I'm not a ***,
I'm a human"

And, it's hard

After the end of the day
When people go home
I just feel so bad
That I can't be
Going home too

The worst part
About being sick
Is you get all
The free ice cream
You can ask for
And the worst part
About that is
Realizing there's
Nothing more
They can do for you

The past
always seems
To chase after us
When I choose to lie
I've learned to never
Let it go any further
If I know
I did something
That I'm accused of
I confess

I don't want to play
Cat and mouse
Delaying the inevitable
Is the worst game
You can play
And never win

If I did it
Then I did it
And that's all
There is to it

All I believe in
Is that no one
Knows anything
I believe in
Sheer ignorance
Anybody that
Claims to know
Something
It's like
"How could you?"
We're clueless

I just wanted you to be happy, truly. I'm just sorry it wasn't with me.
I hope you find someone who makes you feel all those lovely things you've heard on the radio and, I hope you never have to know what it's like to have to try and live without them.
You deserve something you don't have to question.
You deserve to be with someone who is sure about you.
Someone who looks at you everyday with the realization that you are everything they need.

I sent a man to
The electric chair
Awhile back
My arrest and
My testimony

The papers called it
"A crime of passion"
But he told me
There wasn't any
Passion to it
Said he'd been thinking
About killing someone
For as long as
He could remember

Said if they turned him out
He'd do it again
Said he knew
He was going to hell

I don't know what
To make of that
I wont push
My chips forward
And go out and meet
Something I don't understand

A man would have
To put his soul
At hazard

He'd have to say
"Ok, I'll be part of this world"

In such strange ways I strangely cannot understand
The horror of it all is we stay attracted to everything that hurts
We cling to it and never really learn to let go
So perhaps we do want happiness
But we also desire to keep the pain close; close enough to destroy us
Close enough to define us
Close enough to make us all feel a little less cold

We have no place to go but into the light
Born into lives casted off and undefined
We get so busy living lives on circadian loan
Hoping to forget that not one among us is owed another dawn
So we count our memories like blessings
Closing our eyes as each one goes by
Painting stories seldom told of the air we can't get back
And of the lives we'll never know