Growing up in a Christian home, you'd expect someone like me to have committed myself to working for God since I was 4 or 5.
But no. I used to think that too.
I was 11 and it was the middle of the night. I was crying and sweating bullets calling out to God to save me. This is the kind of thing I will not be required to explain to a skeptic or somebody who questions why I do thing the way I do. I have never been very open about faith during my life. But this isn't about me.
Let's talk about something else, so there's this guy, Isaiah. A prophet, said to have understood and described the mystery of Jesus. Something people today would never figure out. Isaiah would prophesies the future in such a way that you wouldn't know he was talking about the future. He wrote songs about the revelation songs... I write songs...
I know a little boy at my church, his name is Isaiah, and part of me wonders if he will write song, or poetry praising God along with it.
Let's talk about silver, a metal used as currency, or plates written on in biblical times, and its brother metal gold, is seen in the garden of Eden, where everything was perfect.
Gold is seen as perfection. Heaven paved the streets with it, can you imagine the glory? But no, silver, seen as second place to gold, seen as "not-as-pure". Because silver will tarnish right? I am silver, tarnish is my sin, I will never be gold in this skin.
And Isaiah was silver turned gold by God and now Isaiah, you are on silver, printed with your own words.
Here me now:
Written in Isaiah Chapter 55 verse 9.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts higher than your thoughts." Says the Lord!
This is not to say that because I am religious that I'm better than anybody. This is to remind myself that I am to be humble, and human, and silver.
Not perfect by any means, but working towards a life I've needed since that night when I was 11.
I am human, and Christian, and nothing can change that. this silver reminds me that I'm not perfect.
This verse reminds me...
That I still have work to do.
I gave you my heart
And in return you gave me nothing,
I opened all my windows and doors
But you kept all yours shut,
I tried so hard to make you laugh
But the most you could manage was a smile,
I bought you gifts
And you gave me a bracelet.
A token of the love you never show,
A reason for me to keep trying,
A way to feel the relief,
But a bracelet.
A little, shiny, sterling silver bracelet.
No charms and no colour.
Just a bracelet.
I miss the phantoms of you..
I miss you haunting me..
I use to be afraid of your ghost..
And then you left..
I could never leave..
I wish you would come back..
But you left because of me..
And I stay because of you..
But time one day whispered into my ear..
And told me I was the phantom, I was the ghost that scared you away..
It seem like only days..
But truly they were years..
And you returned to me..
Silver and gray..
And showed me a way to heaven..
you are maleficent
carving arrows beneath my fingertips
scorching timeless beauty
that words envy
like nocturnal gold
encrusting harsh silver archers
with hell fire stone rogues
because you are tumbleweed
flicking my wrist
with Dravidian tongues
gazing at vendetta
as if concrete were thick bones
comprising scarlet entities
I sit at a wooden bench
faded and etched with words of old love
who was here before me, and before them?
My eyes are thrown out to the sea
wrinkled blanket of green and blue.
That knot in my head has been soothed
by the salted air and the sun
and the delicate pebbles beneath my feet.
And I am grateful to be here.
There's something so beautiful
about this beach with the pulsing and hum
of a city so close
and everything that this city holds
that you, or I, don't know.