There's nothing in your words,
There's nothing in your rhymes,
Nothing I haven't heard before,
I don't care, I don't care,
I'm numb.

There's nothing you could say
I don't hear every day,
Those ****** talk shows and interviews,
I don't care, I don't care,
I'm numb.

I come home once a week,
And this is all I hear,
It floods me as it always has,
I don't care, I don't care,
I'm numb.

Prejudice and guilt,
Judgement in my ear,
It's my first thought and my last,
I don't care, I don't care,
I'm numb.

There's nothing in your words,
There's nothing in my voice,
There's noise and boys and prayers,
I care, I care,
I'm dumb.

For he with the blonde curls,
Who set you from stone to glass,
For he with greyness and age,
Who set you from virtue to ****,
And for the fathers who warned,
Who set you in a statue of shame,
With his constant looks of disbelieving.

For she with the stars of freckles,
Who set you from glass to shards,
For she with the condensation of coldness,
Who set you on route to loneliness,
And for the mothers who neglected,
Who set you with no comfort,
With no help after the males visited.

For the creaks of floorboards,
Threatening unholy arrival,
For the thousands of bed squeaks,
Helping by gifting distraction,
For the hotel clerks gentle knowing smiles,
As the ***** within my mind soften,
For the cheeks I can force upwards,
For the sacred of tears that disappeared with new numbness,
For the child within me who had such urgency to grow up,
And for me...for me.

I smoke until I can feel nothing
Because it is better than feeling everything
That's what it is. Everything
My heart is like my head
A thousand different thoughts, shifting and twisting
Changing, over and over again.
And I feel everything.
Always overwhelming, endless emotions
That never dissipate, but only build
My body is too small to hold all of this
It shouldn't be possible
I'm bone weary
Exhausted,
I'm stuck in a current and I can't get out
Wave after wave after wave and I can't catch my breath
The world is spinning above me
And nothing will still
I feel everything
So I smoke until I can feel nothing

A gaping hole
Straight through the brain
Perfectly cylindrical
Holds no mercy as it rings
Through my body

The gun is still smoking
From the heat of his hatred
Shot right through my brain
Can’t even consume it
The idea that he had done it

Silver bullet through my brain

She held flowers to her chest
as she falls asleep.
She prayed and wished for her death
And the universe sadly granted it.

She started fading away
As she closed her eyes.
All the noises and pain—
It was gone along with her life.

Everyone wondered
As to why she ever did it—
Killing herself with a blade
Leaving her wrist with a slit.

They said she was a sad girl,
The kind of which who always cry.
But none of them ever saw her
With a tear falling from her eye.

They felt sorry for the girl
As they watched her lie.
But she was more beautiful in death
Than she was when she's alive.

A dark pool of people
Was shredding tears on her grave
Little do they know
Of how long she's been so brave.

I
feel nothing.

It's like i'm not breathing,
let alone
living.

Numbness
overcomes my skin,
layer
by
layer,
affected until my heart beats
unknowingly.

What is sadness for the mind of madness
It might be odd to bear witness, but the mighty warrior who welds words like weapons
With shield of indifference, will no yield under falling havens
What hurts is that small tinker of needle
Plucked from the rose we touched in haste
What is sadness for the mind of madness
It's saying take care instead of I love you
It's saying goodnight instead of I miss you
It's saying bye instead of stay
But no, we'll not say… will not plead
For the painkiller needs to be kept on the shelf
Not be taken as a meal
A toxic relief, Not something that they need to keep, note to self stitched in skin : keep away
What's happiness to the mind of madness
It's fear nothing else