The craving had been
More of a need
As of late

Energy taken
Energy generated
Or one could also say
One cultivated
One gave away
Every little thought
That you think

Isolated
from the rest of you
With steel walls
And the tallest gates
Barricade myself
In a little
Me sized
Cave

Wouldn't be surprised
If I never
            Even
                Came Out!

Stands on the porch.
His gaze set on a lock.
He peers through the keyhole.
Nothing.
Sets off to find it.
What will open her?
What will free her?
Will he?
No.
It will.
But what is it?
He looks.
He searches.
He cannot find it.
He will not give up.
The house is crumbling.
She is crumbling.
He won’t let her fall.
Not now.
He is close.
He can feel it.

There.
He has found it.
So close yet so far.
Why?
Because she has it.
She doesn’t understand.
She will not give the key up.
She doesn’t know what will happen.
The house will crumble.
It will fall.
Not only will it break her, but it will break him too.

My ship was attacked,
And, I being blue,
thought that it was the end.
My crew was not putting up a
fight at all.
They smashed my decks,
tore my masts and laughed as my ship wailed in agony.
I stared up at them,
I knew that fighting with them would
mean my doom
and I knew that I did not have anyone to scare them away from me.
But,
I did not want them on my ship.
I know that I may not be the best captan,
I know I may not be the most bloodthirsty or ruthless,
but this is my ship
and I want to be in control of it.
I hooked my eyes on them,
expression blank
and walked towards them.
I felt a cool hardness in my soul.
They were going to get off of my ship,
without me
having to do a single thing.
I breathed in light
and then expelled
mines of gold sedimented
in black and blurry grey
from the depths of my yellow heart.
I make a sphere of gold translucent
around my ship,
pushing away all the unwanted.
My ship came back to life,
the light had cured.
I go on,
to the horizon
to meet the purple sun
and tell Him all about my adventure.

                                                                          -storm-

Red like the regret,
lying around as ashes
from the blaze of the
fire that caught up
in your lies, deceit.

Red as the sky bleeds
her despair raw,
as the wound deepens,
into her veins.

Red like the memories,
spilled like the blood
of the innocent.

Red as the regret
consumes the sanity
away from the sane.

At times like this,
amok often reigns in the head
Complaints accompany sleep all day
Revolt to and fro
It's never good from the right
or left ear

Awake when people isolate themselves; dying
Sleep with an effort to escape tendentious thoughts
Perceived briefly in the planning that was never discussed
Missing monologue with swearing and cracking and cursing

Traces and shadows haunt the footsteps
The devil opened the door wide; come on!

Sobs broke out
The children in the soul are no longer heard


Buitenzorg
April, 2020

looking past mundane and bore
the isolation such a chore
remember what we do it for~
to not repeat a sickly lore.
the pestilence in days of yore
spared neither emperor or *****.

though we now find common fight
absent kin is not quite right
or lover in the dead of night
too far to hold my body tight.
I ask with no one in my sight
when parts this darkness for the light?

I miss the skin and velvet touch
and loving in our dreamy hutch
but we all know this feeling-such-
to bear it with a hopeful hunch
to greet with kiss and ardent clutch
when time has healed the world that much.

so care for neighbor with a prayer
sing a song and bless the air~
‘tis not so much we can not bear.
observe the quiet for it’s rare.
and finding outside beauty fair
feel happy you’ve the time to spare.

until it comes I inward gaze
and see my soul is still ablaze
with hope for man and better days
amidst this heavily pressing haze.
we shall emerge with better ways
of sharing in the heaven’s rays.

I know its been while
The leaves are beginning to fall
Death is getting closer
I don't know who to call
I think it was sunny yesterday
But  my blinds were closed too tightly

Maybe its me who is falling
I haven't seen the trees in days
This room never changes
Will I go insane?
Depression is endless slumber
Pain makes you number
Life is part heaven
Part hell

Four walls
Two windows
One bed
Busy head

What I would give
For open pastures
And a calm mind