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cupid Nov 8
i think we all know about vices
we think they are purely evil habits
but vices are just bad habits
they can be tiny, tiny things
big vices are drugs, alcohol, gambling, destructive ***
some big vices are hidden like self harm and reckless behaviour
my vices are some small and some hidden
im sure yours are too
we eat until we makes ourselves sick
eat food that’s unhealthy
i drink soda because it makes me want to throw up
my friends and i run around on cold nights without coats
and without supervision
we fall in painful love
and have a million mental breakdowns a week
we cause trouble and leave destruction wherever we go
not because we want to
and sadly not just because we can
because they are our little vices and little voices we can never end
we have to scratch at our skin and rip our hair out
we have to make everyone else hate us
we can’t stop
by definition they are habits
and i regret to tell you they are habits we cannot fix
only we can save us from ourselves, only we can fix these painful vices
Bernadette Nov 8
I’m Self Destructive and I don’t know how not to be
I want to be productive but the demons in my head don’t agree

They say “who needs to pass classes, who needs to go to work”
These voices in my head are my one catastrophic quirk  

I try to be good, I try to do be headstrong
But these monsters refuse to stop their ****** song

I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to be
If only the monsters in my head will just shut up and let me be me.
your mouth creates hurricanes
when all that fiery anger erupts
straight upwards through  
the icy oceans
within your stomach
filled from mental tears
upwards off your lips
those destructive hurricanes
are not supposed to make
landfall
on this body.
words can sure be devastating when spewed in bursts of anger.  like lava.
clem turner Sep 19
he smoked enough for two in the afternoon
and he'd say it's not the stress, he's just bored
but his jokes, though just as dark as before,
don't feel like jokes anymore.

he smokes to cope until all of his skin is burning
and his tongue is like a treacherous guest
he sends his texts at 3 am to Unrequited Beloved
and responses he wants, he won't get
oof
Thomas EG Aug 12
So I'll burn the empty coke cans
And hope that they explode
I'll walk a day in your shoes
Hitting self-destruct over and o-

-ver, until it kills me
Idk
Pleasures spiral and sprawl outward
Escaping the small chamber your parents regulated it to
Devouring dollops of your time
Until you become sick and restless
Fevers, blankets, and soup for recovery
Seeking madness once you’re rested and wrestling with boredom
This ruinous routine is never naturally rundown
Only perishing once true passion is found
Amanda Jul 22
I want you to live, why don't you?
Set in self-destructive ways,
Wish I had the power to help you heal,
You are so gone you don't want to be saved.
Sigh...
japheth Jul 12
you painted me like a beautiful picture:

one with our future ahead of us,
one with both of us laughing.

there were strokes of anger
of pain,
of our fights,
but looking at it now,
the aggressiveness of your brush
definitely highlighted the beauty
of the painting:

it showed
the wrinkles of our face when we smile,
the creases of your clothes forming lines towards my arms holding you close,
the light in your eyes when you look at me — as if the world meant to me and i was the only who deserve it.

however,
you left me in a single room.
i thought maybe, i was that special.
that i was one of — or better yet your greatest masterpiece.

as you smiled,
i felt happy.
i thought maybe this was it.
a painting you’re so proud to show the world.

you crept towards the door
went for the switch and turned the lights off.

and just like that, i waited for months
for the lights to go back on.

i knew in my heart,
that this beautiful painting i thought was your masterpiece,
became one of your hidden collections,
that only you could exclusively see.

just like what you did,
to the others before me.
i’m in a rut guys. i’m sorry. starting today i will be in a social media hiatus — a cleanse so to speak. i need to think of myself first. don’t worry though, i’ll keep writing during this days so good luck to me.
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