Tøast 4d
Well you destroyed me,
Ripped the happiness away, shredding my skin into scars as I fall.
I trusted too much and now it's all my fault,
How could I ever hate the one that saved me, even if it was momentary.

You took a poets words away,
And stole my confidence.
So now I'll float through the night sitting on some drug fuelled motorboat,
Trying desperately to escape the iceburgs.

But the water is cold and inviting,
So let me be self destructive as the captain tries his best to fight me.
You've left me in the dust and I couldn't hate myself more.
Maddie M May 1
you know when you've reached your limit.
to everything.
especially love.
especially guys.
especially feelings.
to which I've learned how to numb it away.
by drinking the poison that harms your liver.
saying goodbye to the pain.
oh look there goes April's rain.
saying hello to the fun.
preparing to run.
being surprised by the danger
in all my attributes.
numb it.
numb it.
numb it.
my shadow is attach to the underworld.
guess whose taking over.
lost myself.
confused by myself.
murmurings are heard by the gossipers.
i don't know why every time i come to my senses
something backfires.
numb it all.

because we'll soon be found.
Shahid Khan Apr 3
Oh, the critics,
When you use,
Your fleshy and sticky tongues,
You scrawl your sharp pens,
To peel the skin,
Of your alleged offenders,
You look like a butcher,
Chopping and mincing the meat and bones,
Or you like a vulture,
Sipping the blood of a half-dead cattle,
Come shed your literary arrogance,
And wrap your forked tongue,
In a cozy shawl of praise,
And prove that,
To correct the torn skin,
A pair of surgeon’s scissors is needed,
And not a butcher’s knife,
For sure…….
I never knew a world
At such peace,
Until I swam through yours.

Lights, swirls, motion,
I imagine this feeling akin to heroin,
As I lays back, adrift in a sea of ecstasy.  

This is a temporary halt,
A shrine I cannot have.

With my dive brings darkness,
My greys in collision with your blues,
Like an atom torn asunder.

I know I cannot stay,
But I am selfish, unkind.

Because, love,
I’ve never known a world
At such peace
Until I destroyed yours.
- On feeling like a human bomb.
Saint Audrey Mar 24
And the rustling of dark green leaves that play to me like piano keys

So many consecutive sentences I'd like to add up, gain insight on some estranged topic

Just like the patter of rain falling through tree branches, it helps staunch the aching but slowly fills me with a feeling

I would take a funeral, if it meant just a week more for me, a chance to see the sights I spent so long in

Even so, the ground bubbled, entranced a bit of mirth, swallowed up by the thorns and roots that choke out the light within

I still need them, they support the lofty branches defining this ideal, bittersweet if not for the shine having been worn off completely

Gone, but far from forgotten

Not forgotten in the slightest, the wall of misplaced altruism still encompasses my forest

I still pray for the trees, I do, when the depth of night slowly rotates over

Freezing causes wheezing,
Leaving leaf spores breeding down my trachea,
Allergens spin n turn sharply attacking the tools that physicalise my life with its ins and outs
Oh 2 see oh 2 breathe oh 2 feel free from the obstructions that structure my schedule to be dormant
Walk up the stairs hold on to the side "are you ok?" No Annie in sight,
Just I, end
is nigh
I roll my knuckles and pinch my palms
Shouldve cut my nails, shot shoots up my arms.
I knock 3 times on the bannister,
I Commit to it being my balancer
Eyes leaking, chest croaking
tight feeling  like I'm choking
Gasping hurts but needed to soothe the need of a response

"I'm fine, just a bit chesty"

Don't ask any more or i can get tetchy

Lecture me on meds im taking
if my rooms tidy or am i forsaking,
still smoking? buffing and sucking  that sweet foam butt till it turns hard and golden tarred like caramel muck.  
Just my luck that the something that makes me feel at ease can send me bending to my knees
not for pleas
But to construct a wheeze
Leaving me
Starting every sentence with please,
help me.
Don't even know what im pleading to
Or Who is listening to the self harmer
With a clear thought that I deserve to be preserved and cured of this karma
Inherited from my grandfather which I didn't know until I was told to ask my mother.

Ask ma

She knows about your Asthma.

She's a self destructor
well known for being a self wrecker
A self pecker
leaving holes to be filled by watless semen carriers
Frieghts of frightening memories
Sure one day shed love to tell me.
But she destructured herself
And left me for others to construct by themselves.

Destructing the self: is the art of not giving a fcuk but really not giving a fcuk to the point that there's no fcuks to give and giving a fcuk means you're affected by fcuks who dont give a fcuk or willing to give you an iota of optimism
A helping hand
A hope full of hopeful hopes
Hopping fluently between the structure of the destructed self
Which makes me feel woozy

As i struggle hard to say no to this tobacco
especially when it's been weeks
And the feeling of ease is punishing me for a past ive not seen but i realise in that moment we have much in common

Self destruction is our common denominator
Our choice is the same and is made the same
over and over again
Its still the same
results never change
And still leave us with this taint
That we are responsible for cleansing

So what more do i need to ask ma for?
She's giving me answers by her flaws. That's her gift to me,
her way of setting me free
well here's hoping she breathes easy.
Kiara Alcazar Mar 19
Complete and utter destruction.
Mentally and physically.
You’ve destroyed me.
I won’t let it get to me now.
But I’m going to forever know, that you destroyed me.
And that’s the one thing that’ll sit in my mind.
The idea that you can live your life without any disturbance of me.
But I have to live mine, with you constantly in my wake.

The thought itself is destructive.
You are destructive,
and I was unfortunate enough
to cross paths with you.
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