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Brett Jun 6
Asleep at the pen
The world outside is a chorus of muffled voices
Throwing pebbles at my window
Unconscious mind swerving in and out of lines
Awake dream detective scribbles drunken ink confessions
Sleep deprived glutton for depression
A caution tape commotion for,
My broken heart bravado
Pill, Water,
Swish, Swallow
Simple sorrows warp me back to all my past tomorrows
Humans replaced by hollowed husks
Staring and sipping emptiness from a chalice
Delusional desperado, mounted on malice
His six-gun guitar strums,
Self-inflicted bullet wounds
Thoughts of a wandering mind
Zack Ripley Apr 14
I miss how you used to laugh
And inspired everyone else to do the same.
I miss your fearlessness.  Your curiosity.
I miss how much you loved
to run and play games.
I miss a lot of things.
But what I miss the most is how pure you were.
Like the light from the midnight moon.
You were gone too soon, Innocence.
I feel as free as a kite
Whom you offer freedom only as much as you could bear .
You all let me fly but only to a certain height.
And pull me down the moment I get there .
Don't I look free ? But am I not tied?
Please don't be that way don' t be so  bare.
Let me fly untied.
It's cruel here I am scared .
What kind of freedom is that of a kite? This is what I have been wondering that's how I have been feeling.
You are easy to love
You make time for me
You are generous with your affection
You communicate your feelings for me without hesitation
You openly and honestly share your thoughts with me
You are curious about me
You want to know who I am and you want to know why

I can’t express how much this makes me feel loved and adored
The way you love me makes me want to be better for you
You have reached into my soul and pulled out emotions I have never felt
You spark my imagination and challenge me to explore new adventures
I hope I never have to wake from the dream you have given me
I want all of you – your laughter, your pain, your passion, and your heart
I promise to never take for granted this easy connection – intimate, honest, and rare
Jay M Jan 14
Sky of grey
Clouds of palest hue
There are many things I wish to say
Great and small, all for you

Imaginably soft
Compared to cotton fluff
Gazed upon from a dusty loft
Full of old trinkets and stuff

Gifts hidden away
Cards and letters bound to stay
Beneath layers of time
Next to paintings of yellow and lime

Cobwebs left by content spiders
To be gazed upon by curious writers
Moved on for better prey
Webs left to be cleaned on an unseen day

- Jay M
January 13th, 2021
Spadille Dec 2020
T.W: self-harm




For long I have wondered
How cold the sharp blade would feel against my skin
And how red the droplets of blood is

For long I have wondered
How painful a cut on the wrist feel
And would it be as painful as my emptiness

For long I have wondered
How rough the thick rope would feel around my neck
And if it could withstand my weight

For long I have wondered
If I get lost would they be in chaos?
And would they never forget my existence
Curiosity kills the cat
Troy Dec 2020
Thoughts race in this jagged mind of mine
head spinning and mind collapsing
what am I?
Am I a man or a woman?

Born male
yet I don't identify
I dress up as a female
yet I don't identify

torn between these two structures
that classify the human gender
yet I don't identify
It's killing me to realize

Maybe I'm both
maybe I'm not neither
so much to figure out
so much to process

the thoughts keep racing
beginning to spiral out of control
Pronouns he, him and his
never really fit

the pronouns she, her and hers
only left scars
at first I thought of transitioning
to clear out my head

but now it's like a stab wound
festering upon my soul
am I a man
or am I a woman

they both seem so permanent
and yet seem doable
so maybe I a both
but that's my choice to find

I like being called he
yet I like being called she
I like being called they
so maybe I'm both and neither in a whole

so call me crazy
say that I'm broken
say that I'm not right in my head
but at least I have the courage to be me
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