Do you understand
All of this is your fault
Vindication is all that I want
Except you’re still on my mind
Filling my head in every space for thoughts
Unexpectedly is how this started
Curiosity sparked an interest
Killing me as it lingers
Implicating me in guilt
Nothing can cure this conscious of mine
Going down with every thought
Suspiciously I clear my mind
Pencils and pens create my thoughts
Illustrated with curves that turn to letters
Variety that turns to words
Every one has a meaning and place
Yet I let them remain nameless
How lovely the clouds look
From the ground below
Painting the world in darkness
Such a beauty to behold.
It is so weird
How this is my life
How I am alive in all this
And get to change my fate
But death will come
And somehow curiosity
Is in my skin
Of what happens
After my heart stops beating
Denim blue jacket
Fits that smile
Makes your perfect style
Straight long black hair
Rich smooth Chicana complexion
All makes me curious
What are these words I can’t speak?
Anxious, the river is rapid
But I still remain static
Your wandering eyes and I wonder
If you notice me
You however can talk
And you talked to me but
Is it part of a routine?
“What you get on the quiz?”
You one upped me on both
My mouth won’t work
I turn to my fingers
And my device
I found you online
I requested to follow
Rejected and in the end it seems
You want nothing to do with me.
Oh my, you really could not see,
That I was gloomy.
Just as the grey clouds,
Outside the window - the sun's shrouds.
You were more curious about the drops
On the windscreens,
Instead of those
That were rolling down my cheeks.
Okay this is a twisted and exaggerated version of the exact feeling.
Also, I was really bored.
Today, I sat under a blue sky.
I basked in glory, golden rays caressed my skin and greek gods danced upon the pages in front of me.
Today i made a decision.
A decision that was made long ago.
Long before I woke, before i was even gifted life.
A decision as old as time itself, one forged with the intensity of a black hole.
One that burns with the fire of a thousand suns.
One that has lived a thousand lives before, remembers the tastes of wisdom. Only faintly.
One that wishes to be all it was, all that is no longer.
One that wishes to see all these eyes can see before they close one last time.
A decision that states. That sings, declares, needs, exclaims, screams and begs of me.
A decision, quite and sure as steel: this is not enough.
How do you do that?
You could just be sitting there breathing and I would still think that you’re incredible
You could be looking at your phone while I am trying to read your mind
Yet you don’t realize that I see you
How can you not see me back?
I get it, you see me
But not the way I see you
I hope that’s wrong because the way you look at me
It makes me curious on what’s going on in your mind
What do you think about when you see me?
Am I just there?
Was I meant to be more?
To be less?
Or was I just nothing?
Then again, nothing matters if you can’t talk to me
Like why are you scared to talk to me?
Please don’t say you’re not because like I said, I see you
I see the way you change tones when we change topics
Seeing you change always makes me question why
But I rarely ask, because that is your own reason
One thing you do that you don’t realize
When you are talking with me and we actually make eye contact
You stay locked into my eyes until I stop the eye contact
But how can I?
Your eyes are just as beautiful as you
Without the bird, would we look up? Without the ant, would we look down? If our souls never reached out would we learn to love the other? I believe there is no bird or ant if we never learn loves direction. Curiosity.
A dream that he saw
The silver lining smile on his wrist
How it created a dream of the apocalypse
Where people around him
were just bodies who were
Trying to tie knots around him
And with a curve on his lip
He would try to dance around it
But, as those eyes of the bodies closed
Driven by the realm of imagination and fantasy
He would slowly
Unravel those knots
And became someone
That yesterday couldn’t remember
And tomorrow wouldn’t dare to guess
Can nothing ask
Why it is there
If it’s nothing in the first place?