A fantasy of finding myself In a magical forest the deeper Into the forest I walked the more believable the fantasy became Finding myself eventually stood In a clearing there a waterfall and this pretty girl sat swinging her legs dipping her feet In the water She smiled she wasn't afraid of me didn't even seem surprised that I was there at all, she beckoned to me sit beside She was so pretty she handed me a brush that lay beside her, I began to brush her loverly hair beautiful and long It was It covered the Intimate part of her body for she was completely ***** but she didn't object to my stare for the most beautiful figure she had It seemed she had total trust In me she stood taking my hand lifting me to my feet then to lead me much further Into forest where she and I made beautiful love together It was a fantasy I never wanted to leave would have been more than happy to stay In the fantasy with that beautiful girl forget about reality wouldn't find this In real World
This Is a rewrite of a previous poem I wrote,while writing this fantasy got so Involed almost felt didn't won't to leave the forest and that pretty girl I'd made the fantasy so real
23 rd December I'm sat waiting for the supermarket cafe to open outside Its absolutely raining cats and dogs which makes the anniversary of my wife's passing so much more difficult to deal with cold wet and miserable
the best way to describe the start to Christmas doesn't seem like It's Christmas at all just feels like another day Still waiting for my first coffee sat with Simply Having A Wonderful Christmas Time playing In my ears just doesn't feel right somehow almost a feeling of being false to be glad when It's all over get back to the real world
Outside raining cats and dogs artful day makes Christmas almost false dosen't feel real
hark! I am greeted by angels each with devil horns and spikes in their backs blackmailing my feet to lead me where? away from from the shining seas twinkling eyes and fluttered eyelashes fare thee well in these trying times they screech at me from their balconies all I can do is cry deep in my hands cracking my nose with my knuckles
Sometimes I get stuck in this state of Darkness where my eyes can see but it's like my head is just pitch black and I almost wish I couldn't see anything, like I wish I could just curl myself into a ball so tightly that I disappear from space for a while
sometimes I get stuck in this space and I feel like my tears and my thoughts are climbing up my esophagus and clogging my throat blocking my airway suffocating me from the inside
maybe I never told you I was depressed because who wants to relive that moment that choking hazard moment of cotton ***** in my throat
maybe I never told you I was depressed because there are no words I can use to describe it that don't transform themselves into their meanings that don't take over my mind crawl through my head like little worms eating away at my brain my thoughts my skin
have you ever thought of a traumatic experience and then felt those events happening again felt the dark hole of life-threatening-trauma attack your mind Shiver through your body like it was a demon you let in through a memory- through a word
maybe I didn't tell you I was depressed because I wasn't strong enough my depression fills me to the brim fills my head and my chest my arms and my fingers I can feel it moving through my body I can feel it expanding and engulfing everything inside of me every last vein, nerve, *****, and tissue how can you expect me to have the energy to fight how can you expect me to have the energy to pick up the phone to open my mouth how can you expect me to have energy-to have the courage to utter the words of how I feel I feel so worthless in those moments I feel like there's this black whole inside me and it's consuming everything it's taking everything but my skin and it disgusts me
can you imagine the feeling, having something so utterly repulsive on your skin you had to scrape it off immediately It felt like you needed to be cleansed like you needed a shower take that feeling now imagine it being under your skin imagine, every muscle ***** vein nerve every cell in your body underneath your epidermis disgusts you imagine all you wanted to do was to GET IT OFF and you can't no matter how hard you try you can't scrape it off you can't claw It off
imagine you're scared of spiders now imagine you're covered in spiders and someone's holding down your arms so you can't get them off imagine them walking on your skin in your mouth crawling on your open eyes in your ears you're cringing at your own skin You can feel them going down your throat Their disgusting tickle in your stomach in every crevice of your body their tunneling under your skin and you can't get them off what are you supposed to do but cry
My best friend's mom who doesn't believe in depression asked why I never told her I was depressed...
It's like we're these two predestined stars Bound to clash into one unfortunate, Yet bedazzling starburst Yes, it's destructive, but seeing it from afar It's one of the most remarkable collisions of a lifetime OUR LIFETIME...