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Amanda 1d
Your absence still stings
Without you by my side find
I am not myself
An oldie
I want to fly but I am failing
falling in the deep
dying to myself
resurrecting old beliefs

struggling to comprehend why my being is now still
I am sick of being boring
I lead myself into the thrill

the abyssal oceans blue that sway inside my mind
searching for a label
a diagnosis of some kind

Time is not real
Structure cannot be measured or weighed
I wait for the big moment when my wires become frayed

being "good" does not matter
I just want to be free
But freedom is subjective when I lose sight and still see
Lexi Harwick Jan 13
A piece of me is gone,
And I thought it would be back.
You left without a song,
And you didn't leave a track.

Instead, you left memories;
They replay inside my brain.
All the good times, all the bad times,
They just fill me with pain.

Pain from a great loss
No one could prevent,
So I put a shield around my heart
That no one now can dent.

In short, I wish you were here,
And all I can do is write.
In the morning, I feel your absence
And even more so at night.
is the absence of light
but yet
Light did not
chase away the darkness
It engulfs it
And it returns
to silence

is harsh
I do not
carve its embrace
Shadows are
my home
the only
who accepted me

Don't try to reach
For I
am too far gone
Xallan Jan 28
If I had the right tools I'd show you
How empty my mind is, like a computer
That updates every few months,
Erasing all that data, any wisdom.
Deleted- motors still whirring
Fans still blowing upon the spinning
Of an empty disk, a blank hard-drive.
Ready to encode new preferences
New creeds, programming, ideations.

I am still searching for understanding
Of race, of society, of priorities,
Of gods, of worship, of labels,
Of love, of lovers, of choice
Of the parts of people they choose to reveal,
They choose to hide (their masks),
What they cannot choose to be, and
Cannot choose to show-
Of humanity- identity.

I don't get an opinion on any of that-
Try as I may, I will never understand.
I was born without an identity
And wisdom teeth, likewise,
I am not wise for lack of them
At least never need removal
For like wisdom teeth, the result
Of irritation is surgery, pain, and recovery
I skipped that, so that pain isn't real.
Smug air pollutes the room
Upper storey
Rich and an elitair sense
First class
Space filled with all-embraced furniture
and unread papers and books
Plays of intelligence and interest
Acts performed by top-hat wearing fatcats
When the **** leave the room
Smug filled the eggshell heads
of the polluted

The devil only plays the jazz; she lives the blues
Gazed ox-like, ****** eyes
She’s about to rise

An ***** at play
What emotions have to say
Begone with the actor
The seats, the curtains
Begone with even the stage!
In abstract thought
Roaming as a horde of horses
Fish at sea
Feel hustling of the wind
In absent mind
Distant, concrete thoughts
Farther by the day they shine

White, blind light at night

White, bright, blinding light
White, bright, blinding light
I rose from the seas
And took the moon along with me
Katy Jan 23
There have been so many times
I've almost given in to loving you again

But then I remember you love her

And only love me in the absence of her
Leigh Marie Jan 18
I’ve been starting to think that I can love you in your absence
And I’m worried that if you came back
Next week
Next year
Ten years from now
I’d still love you
And kiss goodbye to all I’ve held since you left
All that held me since you left
Just so I could hold you, feel you
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