I was in corner
Collecting dust
Waiting for you
Loyal to you

Until awareness
Consumed me.
I saw,
You didn’t even want me.

So I left.
I took my first,

Since the attic
Of which
You left me
And forgot me.
Kim Essary Mar 13
Before you go on to read  my writing, I ask that you read the one Titled " A Mother's Worst Fear" as you will appreciate and  understand this better .  As i sat patiently waiting  for my best friend of 20 years to be uncaged and given his freedom,
The excitement as I arrived must have blinded my entrance, never paying any mind to my surroundings , until I checked in with a guard and showed him my licence. He said without a smile for me to have a seat in the lobby, as I turned to do just that my heart hit the ground and then it hit me , I was standing in a building centered in the middle of a huge rounded  fence laced with razor sharp barbed metal.
I couldn't imagine the look on my face as I found me a seat, thoughts and emotions running so deep.
I couldn't help but notice 2 women sitting across from me, engaged in conversation. I heard one say her son was the young age of 19  , he had been stabbed four times in 2 different prisons, as the other chimed in her boy was now 30 this was his second time behind the fence of barbed wire
I tried to keep my head down so they couldn't see the tears welling in my eyes ,  my throat felt like a cotton ball was lodged I couldn't hardly swallow,  they shared their stories of their sons and their convictions, one was saling drugs the other robbed a store. Something inside me felt like a knife taking jagged strikes through my heart. My purpose for being there lost in my thoughts, I tried to stay silent and go unnoticed to reframe from any invitation of conversation   as one lady spoke up. Ma'am are you here to get your son too. I can't imagine the look on my face as I choked through the ball of cotton to respond to her. No ma'am unfortunately I'm not his release isn't until November of this year, my best friend of 20 years is the reason I'm here. Dropping my head back down I couldn't reframe any longer, the pain to much, tears rolling down my face as I tried wiping them away. My thoughts of my baby boy running rapid, God how I wish I was here to get him.
The men in uniform in and out , leaving me sickened with the metal doors slamming and self locking at their exit and entrance. The men all around the centered building I waited ,all wearing white with large black words stamped on their backs "Property of the State" Nothing but glass between them and me, I watched as some gathered while others sat alone in their own little world and wondered what my baby did when he was out there , was he joining the others in a game of ball or was he all by himself sad and alone. A guard informed us it wouldn't be long now, they were signing their release, The mother's excitement filled the room, was I being selfish, I should be excited to. soon I would see my best friend,  but all that my mind could think was God why can't I be waiting on my boys release. I picked up my friend as we got in the car, he noticed my silence and could see I had been crying , his age and conviction and knowing me so well, he offered me his condolences and then he said, you know I would've traded places with him just to see you reunited and happy again. Piercing pain and sorrow over took me now .we weren't even out of the parking lot I couldn't see to drive through my tears, I hugged him tightly and said, this is why you will always be my best friend for the next 20 years. My son called me later that night to congratulate my friend as I heard his voice crack on the other end of the line he said tell Mr. David I'm glad he's free , hey momma don't worry it's not my turn yet , he's aged and doesn't have the time left out there I do, for the next time you walk through this fence of barbed wire it will be me walking out to go home with you.
I can't wait for the day to reunite with my son. Thank God for my best friend and his loyal understanding
Every today I will love you;
Every today I will stare at a photo of you;
For a minute or two;
Because I really miss you.
I tried so much to not need you,
But it only made me need you more,
Much more than I did every yesterday.
The love I thought would fade away,
Only got stronger at the end of every yesterday.

Every today is filled with unending opportunities,
Enough time for us to gain new experiences,
To explore certain uncertainties,
To settle all our existing differences.
Every today is a fresh start for you and I,
We just have to make sure each day is fully utilized.

In my eyes you are perfect.
In all your imperfections,
With all your flaws,
One look at you and the ice in ny heart thaws.
Because for me you are more than enough,
I love you in your best and your worst.

I love you.
I love every single version of you.
Despite all the scars and the stories behind them that has made you.
It is true.
You know it is.
Because I never ran away from you.
Not when you let me into the deepest parts of you.
The parts no one else saw or knew.
Not when I'm at the receiving end of that smile.
That rare grin that looks so annoyingly perfect on you,
That is so damn contagious I can't help but grin too.

Better believe that every tomorrow,
I will stand by your side,
I will help you with your inner struggles,
I will make it easier for you,
Because​ that's what I'm here to do.
And always remember;
These words I have said,
For I will love you more every tomorrow,
Than I did every today.
I wrote this to my boyfriend to remind him that distance will not be a determiner in our relationship.
Forever I shall remain alone
Forever I shall remain silent
Gifted with light
Greeted by a corrupted darkness
Forever I have suffered
Forever I will learn
Forever I shall remain with you
This is a revision of my first poem. I talked with an english teacher of mine about the original, and she wanted me to be more clear on the message of the poem and play with the words a little. This is what I did.
Dess Ander Mar 11
If I could buy loyalty, I would.
Name your price.
Kim Essary Mar 9
Bark, bark, yap, yap,
Don't they ever stop, you bad dog you chewed my favorite shoe, lay down , get outside , chain them up, cover their mouth with a leather strap where they can't speak,.  They get left in scorching heat. It's not to cold it's a dog, he has a dog house he can take shelter from that storm. Don't stop it's just a dog you ran over. So you leave his body to lay..
You fool, can't you see, they are just babies like we use to be , they bark and yap cause they are talking to you, they need your attention so they chewed your favorite shoe. Let's see how it feels to put that chain on your neck and leave you tangled outside for days, let me forget I didn't get you freshwater it's only 100° today, crawl in that boarded up box to shelter yourself from the rain, it's normal for you to shake in the cold ,  if I strike you and leave you lay they lock me up for murder, You should be ashamed of yourself   Human you call yourself  what part of this is humane.
They love , they hate, they hurt they feel pain and joy they cry real tears , they blood runs through them to pump their heart, they are no different than you and me   wait what am I saying there is but one very big difference you see,  my furbabies are more loyal than any human standing. They protect me when I'm in danger, they comfort me in my time off need, they never leave my side , theres  the difference ,now can you see
Dedicated to the most loyal , loving companions I've ever had.  My wonderful furbabies
E McNamara Mar 3
Stop with those eyes.
Why can’t I memorize?
More green now than blue
Funny how you
Don’t look like you

Meeting eyes was easy
Like pouring sugar from a jar
Fidgeting with my ring
My heart never beat that hard
I was deep breaths and trembling hands

You remembered what I told you
Such a time ago
Stop making me laugh
You make it hard to let you go
But you’re human too

You have acne too
You fidget like me too
I built you to be a god
My hands loyal to your shrine
But you’re only humankind

But aren’t you beautiful
In your flawed ways
My heart all but sprung
From its cage
And lept into your hands.
Eno Jan 21
I can see the creation of kingdoms in your eyes
The foundations of cities rising
Rivers running late into the night,
Suns setting and
Suns soaring
Streaking the sky
Pastel wallpaper
Stripped away
Revealing behind  
Sentimental pencil marks
The measurements of the kids
When they were growing up
It’s all there in your smile
So coy
And quietly charming
Draws in an army
Of wildly willing
Subservient soldiers
Loyal in my heart
But rightfully hidden
From a king who desires
Anything but worship
PoETE Poet-Pete Dec 2017
In life, always think twice and make the right decision once.

Written by
~©~ Protected & never neglected.
{2000 ~ 2017)
as humans please always take your time and think out your decisions not a soul in the world can rush your thought process.
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