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Ana Roe Nov 9
You do not know to what extent you own my soul
A simple whisper and I would be on my knees
Begging for your touch, a glance, a kind word
Grasping at anything I could to convince myself
That you could feel the same
This pain,
This love,
It's all too much.
What's going on?
Why can't I let go?

Why can't I free myself from this pain, this love.

I'm a *****.
I'm hurt,
I'm hurt,
I'm hurt,
Yet I can't let go.

I try,
I try,
I TRY!

I can't...

My heart is bound to you & it hurts.
There's a fire inside of me.
I can't release this love.. it's destroying me.
I need help..
Borderline Obsession
Omni Winters May 8
Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection.

In some instances, we do not choose who we are going to be friends with. It just kind of.. happens. We may be sitting alone reading a book or staring off into nothingness, and then someone walks right up to you. You don't know if you are going to be friends with this stranger. Sure, they could be attractive, have a nice personality based on what you see and hear from others.

But when that first conversation starts, there is no way back to peace and life without them.

From stranger to a weight that keeps pulling you down.
"Get rid of them! If they cared about you, they would take the time to talk." , says my brain and logic. "They have feelings too! They're really nice!", says my heart. "What did they ever do to you?"

Nothing. They did nothing.

Friends don't back-stab you, or ignore you. They don't ignore what you say or send to them. It doesn't matter how weird or inappropriate you act or speak, as long as you know where the boundaries are and you have a good heart and soul.

As Snow White takes a bite out of a poisonous apple, I too have had my share of poison apples that continue to stay by my side.

© 2018 Omni Winters
May 5th, 2018
Autmn T Oct 29
Better to have a stark reality than a fragmented facade. Rather you leave arms open than mouth closed. Say Gods name when you leave,  not refuge but defamation. Put your loyalty into your spite for me. At least you can stay consistent with it there.
Stygian Oct 22
I used to be abused and used for my gratification
Didn’t know being too nice was a bad situation and love was an optional feeling for people that loved to drain human beings for their own positive sanction
I was a sanctuary for your thoughts, constantly reassured of your flaws and every time my mouth hit the ground id say I love you so it would stop
I just wanted it to stop
I just wanted it to pause
I wanted you to feel the way I felt, the cards I’ve dealt, the way I fell, the heart that broke, the words unspoken, I’ve done so much here’s my token of real love you never ever felt because we were so broken
I thought we were together, sentences ended in forever, tethered by a forced part of my soul that wore protective leather and you said yes
Yes I’d do better
Yes I’d make this work
I’d land that job, I’d never hurt you again this is my promise, lets be honest, im not the best but I made you feel like ******* flawless, whether it was one week or one year everything was promised, but the bruises showed a different side of your conscious
I defended your honor, I made you look like a star, in the opposite light I was fetal in the dark, crying out for help as you reopen old scars, is what love is, have I made it so far?
Have I made it?
Is this what love is?
Just take it
Suddenly the blame is turned on me, I put myself here I deserve to be beat, maybe this time he’ll see, that the only way out is when I fall asleep
Dreaming of a better life, scared every night, maybe i’m wrong and he’s right, what if I deserve to be beat every night?
No.
You took my life from me and I’ll never forget how it felt to be held to a dead mans chest, and wish I could be free from this debt, feel real love in its whole before I lay my head to rest
But I wouldn’t do it different.
I wouldn’t ask Him to fix it.
I wouldn’t tell anyone that I’d go back and risk it.
You made me stronger than I ever could’ve been, I can defend myself now especially to him, and this I swear to the end of my time, the next person to walk into my life, I will love them unconditionally but I will take my time, and I will walk with my head held high, because I can say I made it out alive.
You didn’t **** me like you said you would, you didn’t hurt me like you said you could, and I’m the only one here that turned out to be good, and I’m good
Trust me I’m good.
I fell, I broke, and many times I choked and spit on my faith, but look at me now until I’m at the gates, and He is the only one who can judge my fate, but as He watched me enter He also watched me escape.
Luna D Oct 15
Loyalty doesn’t run through our blood
No matter how many times i stick the needle in my arm
I’ll never be able to be loyal to you Mother.
I’m not the perfect daughter
That truth was sealed when you gave me up.
Now look at you.
Trying to come back.
Trying to act like you didnt miss your chance
That ship sailed when you broke my bones and when you tried to **** me
Im no longer a child but you dont even know it
Im my own woman and i didnt need you to find my way
So take your knives and your guns
Your opinions and your money and just go
Get out of my life.
Stay gone for good
I dont love you. I never did
How could i when you never took the time to actually be a mother.
Kush Oct 10
Loyal to a fault,
I'll be at your side.
Words like salt,
But wounds hurt till they heal.

Help on the rise,
And cushion should you fall.
I'll look into your eyes,
And say, "These steps start small."

Before myself is where you lay,
And when it calls,
At your side I'll stay.
When you're looking for lies,
I'll say what's true,
Even if it tears your eyes.

I'll be there.
With a smile.
I'll be there.
Till the day I die.
Samruddhi Sep 18
From a fairy tale head start
to a really loyal heart
All I am is a tale, full of twists and turns,
From those lone eyes filled with ****
till the hands that cleaned the dust
All I am is a fire, that still burns!!
Few more stories to be craved
on this love road that is paved
All I am is a bird, that will never land,
Just like an early morning dream to catch
and all the crazy imperfections to match
All I am is a journey, that will never end!!
Freddie Ruiz Aug 23
Beauty is not just a reflection of what she is on the outside,
beauty is much more than what meets the eye.

Beauty is:
understanding,
unselfish,
giving,
nurturing,
forgiving,
inspiring,
funny,
charming,
wonderful,
thoughtful,
helpful,
generous,
affectionate,
hardworking,
trustworthy,
intelligent,
considerate,
positive,
patient,
tender,
sweet,
unique,
kind,
wise,
special,
loyal.

Beauty is the doorway to her heart
and the place where her love resides.
Beauty is the caring she lovingly gives
and the passion she shows for the life within.
Written on May 22, 2011
Composition number: 383
Nomkhumbulwa Aug 8
A poem to my People:

"I love you all dearly,
but I know that you have gone;
I see you all here daily,
but I know that you have gone.

I don’t blame you, I understand you,
And I know that I bring shame;
But I also understand,
that I was not to blame.

I know I won’t be welcome likely
ever there again,
And although you may not believe me
I don’t want to cause you pain.

I hope for your forgiveness,
Although I did no wrong;
I hope someday you'll understand
that I did no wrong.

I have tried to make contact,
but you never spoke again;
And because you are so many,
this causes so much pain.

But I guess that you have gone now,
and forever that may be,
If he only hadn’t hung himself,
you might have believed me.

But now that I know,
that I’m not the only one,
I understand the "dark side"
more than anyone.

I understand the culture,
its different where I live;
And although I hope for change for all,
I as yet can just forgive.

I hold nothing against you,
as I said - I understand;
but I hope that in the future,
heads won’t be buried in the sand.

I rarely write poetry,
but this is all I can do;
as a way to get my thoughts across
to so many of you.

I live here in Scotland,
I don’t need to be ashamed;
here on this "Isle of Arran",
I am never blamed.

I hope that St Helena
one day will see it too;
that "there is no excuse for abuse"
no matter "who is who".

It’s sad to lose the RMS,
the most loyal Saint of all,
but she is serving us still by
opening the island to the World.

Opinions might be questioned,
from cultures far and wide,
but with that I hope you'll see
that I have nothing to hide.

Through my bad experiences
I have gained a lot as well,
I have an understanding of
all the people put through ****.

I know I’m one of many,
I know I’m not alone;
together we share this deep connection
to a place that some call "home".

I hope one day you'll forgive me,
as I forgive you,
for treating me the only way
that you knew.

The RMS is serving us,
by opening up this land;
If she stayed forever-
you might never understand.

She may be just a ship to some,
but to me she’s so much more;
She has a soul, a personality,
she had to leave our shores.

We have a lot in common,
both feeling as if "disposed of";
but I do hope we won’t end up scrapped,
and still receive some love.

I'll love you all forever,
even if I hear nothing again;
and I don’t regret my visit,
even though I "caused you pain"

You may not understand just yet,
but I hope one day you will;
and with more education,
the Island will be better still.

I stand by the others,
as they have done for me;
and I’m forever grateful
to my "extra family".

I wish you well for now,
as I’m tired and can write no more;
and I just hope that one day
Such darkness shall leave these shores.”

Take care,
love **
A desperate plea to "my people" who never spoke again, after I was subjected to assault.  They disappeared from my life completely.
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