My neurodivergent mind is overwhelmed with pressure, struggling under the weight of the sea.
Yet, amidst the chaos, God reaches down to pull me from the depths and set my spirit free.

-Rhia Clay

She was still a nomad, searching for a safe and quiet place to dwell.
A gypsy soul with a dreamers heart and an artist's spirit.
Perhaps it was her dreams that kept her whole...

-Rhia Clay

She tried her best to grasp the moment that flowed forth so freely.
She tried to capture it like a still or a photograph.
She tried to replicate its beauty and innocence.
Finally, she set it free.
She realized that certain moments are so transient they only exist for a short while as a magnificent instant in time, and if fortune smiles upon us, they return like familiar companions who come to see how we are and provide solace to soothe the cycles of this life.
They ebb and flow, departing and arriving, precisely on time.

-Rhia Clay

The birds chirp and chatter, singing your praises like a choir in a woodland chapel.
A quiet river flows and murmurs, reminding me of your ever-giving essence.
The lush moss and foliage cover the forest floor forming an earthy tapestry.
This forest is flush with life and offers me sanctuary.
In this solitude, something breaks away, and I can feel your presence.
I long to lie on the soft earth and wrap myself in it like a warm embrace.
I wish to burrow into the trees that graciously lend me their profound wisdom and boundless strength.
You search for me, and I willingly unveil my heart.
In this moment, I have you, God, along with all of your creations, and this peace and wonder is all I desire.

-Rhia Clay

God says I am worthy, and so I am...

-Rhia Clay

This is the essence of fear.
It is weak, it is not holy.
While fear is natural, and there is no shame in feeling it,
it is not strong.
It whispers to us in the dark and hides its face in the light.
Nothing holy shrouds itself in disgrace when illuminated by the light.
This is the reason why Satan and his cunning whispers of fear flee in the presence of God,
because they do not belong where God treads.

-Rhia Clay

Her heart was awakening.
The bonds that held her were loosening, one by one.
Her mind was stretching, reaching back through time.
Her heart hungered again.
Hungered for life after death.
And from her ashes, she rose.
Emerging from her former self.
Rising out of the world, which sought to hold her beauty under glass.
She was breaking free from her own confines, no longer content to view the world from the safety of her fortress.  
Her passion for life burned brightly, lighting the way ahead, reignited from within.

-Rhia Clay

I looked into your eyes, and never before had I loved someone's darkness as much as their light.
I knew that you would be my undoing, and that I would be yours.

-Rhia Clay

When I see no way out,
I cling to my father.
When I believe I cannot see God,
I quiet my soul until I feel him.

-Rhia Clay

I am ready to enter the next stage in my life, where fighting means letting go and allowing things to flow, and life isn't just about survival.
Where change doesn't signify failure, and life opens to me, and I receive it, without fear.
I'm uncertain where this destination will lead me, one thing is for sure, it won't be here...

-Rhia Clay

"My God, I think, how are you healing me with only a smile?"
My heart breaks in the most beautiful way because you speak a thousand kind words, with only your smile....

-Rhia Clay

She observed the eagles gliding gracefully in flawless circles around her.
Up here on the mountaintop, the wind was her companion.
It murmured gently to her, "breathe deeply, it's time to live again."

-Rhia Clay

You craved suffering.
You attempted to stab my flesh while persuading me that you were a thorny rose.
Roses can indeed draw blood, yet they also possess beauty.
Your spirit thrives in shadows, and beauty has faded from your sight.
The tall grass murmurs your falsehoods, and the breeze spreads your treacherous ways.
I have left the stage, no longer willing to engage in your games.
My spirit is devoted to the light, while you, my dear, are destined for the night.

-Rhia Clay

There is nothing more utterly heartbreaking than living a life unexpressed, a life without art.
We all carry art within us; truly, we are living art.
May your expression exist in its truest form.

-Rhia Clay

Once you taste freedom, once its beauty has settled in your heart,
you will battle with the intensity of a whole legion to protect it.
Among all treasures, liberty reigns supreme.
The freedom to love as one desires.
The freedom to love whomever one chooses.
The freedom to express oneself.
How can one genuinely love another without the liberty to do so?
For a soul brimming with determination and independence,
take away from me my freedom,
and you may as well deny me breath.

-Rhia Clay

I'm trying so hard to be gentle with myself.
I offer endless compassion and grace to everyone else.
Why is it so hard to show myself the same?
I wish to know the answer to the question,
to call it by name.
I know that the trauma I've endured plays a large role.
Too many years of feeling that my voice my silenced.
What was the price of my compliance?
Too much exploitation in corporate America.
Too much has been taken without being repaid, all in effort to make another dollar,
to survive another day.
Too many words were lost in the pursuit of it all, and now I struggle to save those words on paper, a portrait of words.
Still, little by little, I am climbing out of myself, reaching a metamorphosis with a pen.
Slowly but surely,
I am starting to believe again.

-Rhia Clay

The butter melts onto the hot iron pan, sizzling and popping like a firework.
Each motion is a release, a kind of 'lacher prise,' as the French would say.
My heart warms with the love infused into every spice.
Just one carefully measured dash and the dish is just right.
In a kind of enchantment, I practice the art of cooking, laying my heart bare onto the heated metal.
I move swiftly and gently, letting the days worries settle.
I twirl and sway in the act of creation; little compares to the moment of elation.
My spirit hums softly, keeping me in good spirits and laughter as the light gradually dims in my kitchen and the day quietly slips away.
Here in my element, nothing seems to stand in my way.
Thoughts begin to pour forth effortlessly as each dish is polished and stored with care.
Here in the quiet and peaceful moment, I can hope, I can dare.
A touch of kitchen magic has gently enveloped my mind in bliss.
Embracing the elements to set my mind free, grounding me while releasing the tension, allowing me to simply--be.

-Rhia Clay

I have invested too much effort in rebuilding my sanctuary to let fools throw stones at it or to allow them to break its windows.
I am unafraid to walk my path alone.
What I fear is letting the wrong individuals into my garden.
The mere presence and toxic energy of some people can uproot what has taken years to cultivate.
I will tend to my garden and watch my soul thrive.
I will take back my voice.
After all, this is my life.

-Rhia Clay

I should be sleeping now.
I should be quiet, yet my mind is noisy with your words,
scattered, my longing goes unheard.
I should not be wide awake,
aching for your touch.
As many times as our lips meet,
it could never be enough.
What have you left me with?
A thirst for your hands,
entwined with mine.
At times, I feel that not being with you is simply a waste of time.
Hold me like tomorrow may never come.
Lay with me, dear, as our indiscretions are none.

-Rhia Clay

Pain poured from my being, dripping from my fingertips like blood. Emotion scaled the walls and crept into my heart like a silent scream.
My heart beat inside my mind, its pace quickening, and my senses heightened.
My body felt the ache of the war that tore through me.
I am still healing from the battles this world has ****** upon me.
My body feels like a war zone.
I gasp through the tremors of pain, night terrors clinging to my sheets.
My jaw is tight from clenching; pain is a constant, and I am still here.
I am still fighting.

-Rhia Clay

Write from the heart. Write with purity and until you have bled every ounce of passion from your pen. Write until you have exhausted the limits of your creativity, until you're free..

-Rhia Clay

I thank God for continued healing.
I have had to yield and allow my body to endure the hurt, releasing my ego more times than I can remember.
Though I have been saved and revitalized countless times.
There is healing in this rain, and growth flourishes in his presence.
Joy flows through like water through a dam, released through prayer and faith.
God has never lost sight of me, even when I could no longer find myself.
No words can measure my thanks.
Still, I raise my hands in praise anyway.

-Rhia Clay

In the quiet of the night, she lingered, savoring a slow drag from her cigarette.
After all, this was the sole indulgence she allowed herself from time to time.
As she observed the smoke swirling gracefully before her,
she sensed a calmness enveloping her.
Gradually, her spirit was rising, and she understood the importance of not hurrying its journey.
She was not just okay.
She was more than okay,
she was truly alive.

-Rhia Clay

Sometimes my spirit feels so weary.
Or maybe my soul is just done with hollow people,
sitting behind church doors and pillars of justice,
armed with hate.

-Rhia Clay

I felt my wandering spirit kick up a dust that rattled in my bones.
Spirit speak, hungry as you are...  

-Rhia Clay

I wouldn't exchange a single moment or alter a second in the challenging universe of existence, for in surviving all those hard times, I discovered how to truly appreciate life.
Some of the happiest among us have braved the darkest nights, but darling, we know how to live; our scars shine oh so bright..

-Rhia Clay

I said that we were done, and that all ties between us had been severed.
Yet, my body betrays me, for I trace your heart in my sleep, as I cannot forget its shape...

-Rhia Clay

Come, sit by my side,
tell me of the dreams this world has yet to break.
Honestly, tell me your fears,
and I will try to offer you my hope.

-Rhia Clay

As the 4th of July approaches, people prepare their fireworks and barbecues.
They emerge from their cozy corners, their towns and homes.
All getting ready for the festivities, their eyes sparkling with the anticipation of joy and relaxation.
I look up at my colorful banners and blue balloons, gently swaying in the breeze.
I shut my eyes and breathe in the aroma of barbecued meat mingled with a trace of smoke drifting from a nearby restaurant.
A sense of peace washes over me, accompanied by a bittersweet feeling as I remember a loved one who left this world on this American holiday.
It was 1997, and I was merely ten years old when the man I called my father took his final breath. I was just a child, and my world shattered into pieces as I watched him fight. I felt powerless to change the course of events, understanding that nothing could hold his spirit back from departing this life.
My tiny hands and aching heart were unable to save him.
Yet his compassion lives on in this world and within me. His love remains unforgotten.
Through my father, I experienced a love that was unconditional, and I carry that in my heart with affection and remembrance. I treasure our moments together and cling to the belief that our souls will reunite.
May these words find you in heaven until I can reach you.

-Rhia Clay

The melodic chirping of crickets filled the air, while the hum of passing engines blended with nature, creating a meditative atmosphere of their own.
She lay there, observing as Mother Nature, the magnificent artist she is, crafted a tapestry of darkness, transitioning day into night.
She drifted in and out of sleep.
In that beautiful, dream-like state,
where one feels suspended between two worlds.
Caught in the liminal space.
The wind caressed her face, and she embraced its gentle touch.
The day had been lengthy, wearing her down.
Still, the night offered its serenity,
and she wrapped herself in it,
finding her solace in its song.

-Rhia Clay

Some things will only find you when you're not seeking them.
They prefer to find you.
Like happiness, like joy.
These feelings cannot be kept or stored away like some sentimental keepsakes.
Instead, they can be appreciated and cherished in every moment that they choose to arrive.

-Rhia Clay

A spiritual journey is funny.
Just when you think you've lost, you've actually won.
Not because you gave up, but because you learned to let go...

-Rhia Clay

Our joy sneaks up on us like some gorgeous, wild, and untamed creature,
waiting in the shadows until we remember to invite it in.

-Rhia Clay

That moment when your strength gives out and God's strength begins.  
There are not enough words to describe that beauty.
There are not enough words to call it by name.
That moment when Jesus sits with you as you hold your pain in your hands,
and you give it to him,
because it's heavy.  
And you feel the love fill your heart so full you think surely your heart cannot contain it.
That's love.
That's the only name I can give it that feels right.

-Rhia Clay

Return to Grace

Every now and then, the world tries to convince me that I’m broken.
How funny this is, coming from a broken world.
Then, in the silence of my efforts, I look up and realize that my resilience is still mighty and that my indomitable spirit is still soaring.
I am not broken, I am just beginning.
The world is opening before me, and I am receiving it with care.
I feel my grit and resolve rise within me, and I smile because they have not waned.
My spirit was fortified in fire; it can withstand a little rain.
I turn inward, more gentle with myself.
I return to grace.

-Rhia Clay

To start living,
you have to shake off the dust of yesterday
and refuse to let it define you.
We are not our failures, we are not our mistakes.
We are not our incomplete sentences or lost words.
We are our future,
shining bright.

-Rhia Clay

I didn't hold you for long, though your love stained my soul like beautiful watercolors, forever coloring my mind.  

-Rhia Clay

My mind is covered in scar tissue from too many years of pain, with wounds that keep reopening as the world shakes me and pulls at my hair.
Still, I look up and see beauty.
In the early morning, the light radiated with such brilliance that I felt certain I could glimpse heaven.
All I could do was absorb the moment and give thanks.
I’d endure 80 dark nights for a morning so bright.

-Rhia Clay

Sometimes after a long battle,
all you long for is soft.
Soft embraces, soft hands, and soft words.

-Rhia Clay

Be careful with your words.
Words are powerful.
We cannot reclaim them once they are spoken.
Words spoken take only a few moments to speak,
but they can destroy for a lifetime.

-Rhia Clay

Among all my life’s accomplishments, my most significant triumph is simply being here, continuing to fight, and holding onto hope.
I exist in both fear and joy, and within this duality lies an immeasurable strength.
I look up at the stars that carry my memories, and I firmly believe, endlessly, that I can still discover my path back home.
I gaze into the water, watching the silent and gentle ripples dance around me, and I realize that my spirit is still in the process of healing, still enveloping me, my faith, intricately weaving patterns in my thoughts, flowing and revitalizing my very essence.
This is the exact place where God guided me to listen to his voice, to find peace in his presence, and to be reassured that he is alive and breathing for me, infusing life into me, allowing my being to mend.

-Rhia Clay

I saw the fire in your eyes, and I was not afraid.
We are all burning souls; we may as well burn with one another.

Rhia Clay

She stood on the precipice of decision, knowing that where her heart went, her whole being would follow.
She knew she was striking out into the unknown again, taking another risk, taking another chance.
The risk was worth it to keep herself whole.
The risk was worth it to maintain her sense of self.
Trauma had stripped away too much for her to live a life that demanded she sacrifice her mind and body to sustain it.
There had been too many dark days to live without light.
So she reached out, held on to hope, and clung to the light that was returning, eagerly awaiting the chance to shine anew.
Her soul stood strong in its decisions, ready to begin again, willing her on, through and through.

-Rhia Clay

I don’t trust my fears; they have misled me too many times and caused more harm than good.
I trust God because following Him has always brought me improvement, hope, and a more open heart.
Although the path of faith hasn’t always been easy, it has been the most rewarding.
My focus is fixed firmly on Him, and I will sleep well tonight, knowing He is already in those challenging places where I have yet to tread.
Satan murmurs deceit, attempting to rob me of my tranquility, insisting that fear will provide me with safety.
He is a liar, for God has made a way for me in every battle, at all times.
-Rhia Clay

I have news for you,
even when you think you're failing,
you're actually winning.
Because if you're failing,
that means that you're still in the game.
If you're still fighting,
they haven't won.
Whoever "they" are to you,
don't let them win.
Stay in the game.

-Rhia Clay

Calm yourself, dear soul;  
the difficult times do not last forever.  
Everything comes to an end,  
and sometimes an ending is simply the universe's way of giving you time to recognize that your path is shifting.  
The direction you take will ultimately lead you home.  
Embrace the shift and listen closely to its whispers.  
Just as you can hear the echo of wisdom within a seashell you’ve picked up from the shore,  
you too can hear this guidance if you quiet your mind and soul enough to listen.

-Rhia Clay