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16h · 29
Triggered
Pain poured from my being, dripping from my fingertips like blood. Emotion scaled the walls and crept into my heart like a silent scream.
My heart beat inside my mind, its pace quickening, and my senses heightened.
My body felt the ache of the war that tore through me.
I am still healing from the battles this world has ****** upon me.
My body feels like a war zone.
I gasp through the tremors of pain, night terrors clinging to my sheets.
My jaw is tight from clenching; pain is a constant, and I am still here.
I am still fighting.

-Rhia Clay
This poem is very personal to me. I have PTSD from my time in the military, and I wrote it recently to express the feeling of being triggered. The preparation for war, the experience of war itself, and all that occurs in between are not pretty. Military service and the invisible battles faced by those who serve—often without the permission to show their struggles—can take a significant toll, with some paying the price for a lifetime. I do have many good days, but this poem was not written on one of them. Thank you for taking the time to read this note and my poem.
17h · 53
Write for Freedom
Write from the heart. Write with purity and until you have bled every ounce of passion from your pen. Write until you have exhausted the limits of your creativity, until you're free..

-Rhia Clay
22h · 39
Praise
I thank God for continued healing.
I have had to yield and allow my body to endure the hurt, releasing my ego more times than I can remember.
Though I have been saved and revitalized countless times.
There is healing in this rain, and growth flourishes in his presence.
Joy flows through like water through a dam, released through prayer and faith.
God has never lost sight of me, even when I could no longer find myself.
No words can measure my thanks.
Still, I raise my hands in praise anyway.

-Rhia Clay
2d · 71
Alive
In the quiet of the night, she lingered, savoring a slow drag from her cigarette.
After all, this was the sole indulgence she allowed herself from time to time.
As she observed the smoke swirling gracefully before her,
she sensed a calmness enveloping her.
Gradually, her spirit was rising, and she understood the importance of not hurrying its journey.
She was not just okay.
She was more than okay,
she was truly alive.

-Rhia Clay
2d · 68
Done
Sometimes my spirit feels so weary.
Or maybe my soul is just done with hollow people,
sitting behind church doors and pillars of justice,
armed with hate.

-Rhia Clay
"Who are you?" life asked me.
"A fighter," I answered.
"Who are you?" life asked me.
"A kind soul," I answered.
"Who are you?" life asked me.
"A child of God," I replied.
Life no longer asks me this question,
because I have finally found the only answer that I shall ever need.
I no longer awaken in the stillness of night, with a question lingering on my lips.  

-Rhia Clay
2d · 64
Spirit Speak
I felt my wandering spirit kick up a dust that rattled in my bones.
Spirit speak, hungry as you are...  

-Rhia Clay
3d · 50
Shine Bright
I wouldn't exchange a single moment or alter a second in the challenging universe of existence, for in surviving all those hard times, I discovered how to truly appreciate life.
Some of the happiest among us have braved the darkest nights, but darling, we know how to live; our scars shine oh so bright..

-Rhia Clay
4d · 33
Heart Trace
I said that we were done, and that all ties between us had been severed.
Yet, my body betrays me, for I trace your heart in my sleep, as I cannot forget its shape...

-Rhia Clay
4d · 6
To Hope
Come, sit by my side,
tell me of the dreams this world has yet to break.
Honestly, tell me your fears,
and I will try to offer you my hope.

-Rhia Clay
As the 4th of July approaches, people prepare their fireworks and barbecues.
They emerge from their cozy corners, their towns and homes.
All getting ready for the festivities, their eyes sparkling with the anticipation of joy and relaxation.
I look up at my colorful banners and blue balloons, gently swaying in the breeze.
I shut my eyes and breathe in the aroma of barbecued meat mingled with a trace of smoke drifting from a nearby restaurant.
A sense of peace washes over me, accompanied by a bittersweet feeling as I remember a loved one who left this world on this American holiday.
It was 1997, and I was merely ten years old when the man I called my father took his final breath. I was just a child, and my world shattered into pieces as I watched him fight. I felt powerless to change the course of events, understanding that nothing could hold his spirit back from departing this life.
My tiny hands and aching heart were unable to save him.
Yet his compassion lives on in this world and within me. His love remains unforgotten.
Through my father, I experienced a love that was unconditional, and I carry that in my heart with affection and remembrance. I treasure our moments together and cling to the belief that our souls will reunite.
May these words find you in heaven until I can reach you.

-Rhia Clay
6d · 30
Tapestry
The melodic chirping of crickets filled the air, while the hum of passing engines blended with nature, creating a meditative atmosphere of their own.
She lay there, observing as Mother Nature, the magnificent artist she is, crafted a tapestry of darkness, transitioning day into night.
She drifted in and out of sleep.
In that beautiful, dream-like state,
where one feels suspended between two worlds.
Caught in the liminal space.
The wind caressed her face, and she embraced its gentle touch.
The day had been lengthy, wearing her down.
Still, the night offered its serenity,
and she wrapped herself in it,
finding her solace in its song.

-Rhia Clay
6d · 68
Cherish
Some things will only find you when you're not seeking them.
They prefer to find you.
Like happiness, like joy.
These feelings cannot be kept or stored away like some sentimental keepsakes.
Instead, they can be appreciated and cherished in every moment that they choose to arrive.

-Rhia Clay
6d · 29
Letting Go
A spiritual journey is funny.
Just when you think you've lost, you've actually won.
Not because you gave up, but because you learned to let go...

-Rhia Clay
Jun 30 · 63
Joy
Joy
Our joy sneaks up on us like some gorgeous, wild, and untamed creature,
waiting in the shadows until we remember to invite it in.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 30 · 52
Love
That moment when your strength gives out and God's strength begins.  
There are not enough words to describe that beauty.
There are not enough words to call it by name.
That moment when Jesus sits with you as you hold your pain in your hands,
and you give it to him,
because it's heavy.  
And you feel the love fill your heart so full you think surely your heart cannot contain it.
That's love.
That's the only name I can give it that feels right.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 30 · 230
Return to Grace
Return to Grace

Every now and then, the world tries to convince me that I’m broken.
How funny this is, coming from a broken world.
Then, in the silence of my efforts, I look up and realize that my resilience is still mighty and that my indomitable spirit is still soaring.
I am not broken, I am just beginning.
The world is opening before me, and I am receiving it with care.
I feel my grit and resolve rise within me, and I smile because they have not waned.
My spirit was fortified in fire; it can withstand a little rain.
I turn inward, more gentle with myself.
I return to grace.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 29 · 222
To Live
To start living,
you have to shake off the dust of yesterday
and refuse to let it define you.
We are not our failures, we are not our mistakes.
We are not our incomplete sentences or lost words.
We are our future,
shining bright.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 29 · 105
Watercolors
I didn't hold you for long, though your love stained my soul like beautiful watercolors, forever coloring my mind.  

-Rhia Clay
Jun 29 · 98
Scar Tissue
My mind is covered in scar tissue from too many years of pain, with wounds that keep reopening as the world shakes me and pulls at my hair.
Still, I look up and see beauty.
In the early morning, the light radiated with such brilliance that I felt certain I could glimpse heaven.
All I could do was absorb the moment and give thanks.
I’d endure 80 dark nights for a morning so bright.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 25 · 62
Soft
Sometimes after a long battle,
all you long for is soft.
Soft embraces, soft hands, and soft words.

-Rhia Clay
Be careful with your words.
Words are powerful.
We cannot reclaim them once they are spoken.
Words spoken take only a few moments to speak,
but they can destroy for a lifetime.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 25
The Lake
Among all my life’s accomplishments, my most significant triumph is simply being here, continuing to fight, and holding onto hope.
I exist in both fear and joy, and within this duality lies an immeasurable strength.
I look up at the stars that carry my memories, and I firmly believe, endlessly, that I can still discover my path back home.
I gaze into the water, watching the silent and gentle ripples dance around me, and I realize that my spirit is still in the process of healing, still enveloping me, my faith, intricately weaving patterns in my thoughts, flowing and revitalizing my very essence.
This is the exact place where God guided me to listen to his voice, to find peace in his presence, and to be reassured that he is alive and breathing for me, infusing life into me, allowing my being to mend.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 16 · 209
Burn
I saw the fire in your eyes, and I was not afraid.
We are all burning souls; we may as well burn with one another.

Rhia Clay
Jun 16 · 8
Precipice
She stood on the precipice of decision, knowing that where her heart went, her whole being would follow.
She knew she was striking out into the unknown again, taking another risk, taking another chance.
The risk was worth it to keep herself whole.
The risk was worth it to maintain her sense of self.
Trauma had stripped away too much for her to live a life that demanded she sacrifice her mind and body to sustain it.
There had been too many dark days to live without light.
So she reached out, held on to hope, and clung to the light that was returning, eagerly awaiting the chance to shine anew.
Her soul stood strong in its decisions, ready to begin again, willing her on, through and through.

-Rhia Clay
I don’t trust my fears; they have misled me too many times and caused more harm than good.
I trust God because following Him has always brought me improvement, hope, and a more open heart.
Although the path of faith hasn’t always been easy, it has been the most rewarding.
My focus is fixed firmly on Him, and I will sleep well tonight, knowing He is already in those challenging places where I have yet to tread.
Satan murmurs deceit, attempting to rob me of my tranquility, insisting that fear will provide me with safety.
He is a liar, for God has made a way for me in every battle, at all times.
-Rhia Clay
I have news for you,
even when you think you're failing,
you're actually winning.
Because if you're failing,
that means that you're still in the game.
If you're still fighting,
they haven't won.
Whoever "they" are to you,
don't let them win.
Stay in the game.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 12
Shift
Calm yourself, dear soul;  
the difficult times do not last forever.  
Everything comes to an end,  
and sometimes an ending is simply the universe's way of giving you time to recognize that your path is shifting.  
The direction you take will ultimately lead you home.  
Embrace the shift and listen closely to its whispers.  
Just as you can hear the echo of wisdom within a seashell you’ve picked up from the shore,  
you too can hear this guidance if you quiet your mind and soul enough to listen.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 10 · 207
Pendulum
There was a voice that called deeply in the night.
There was a thickening of life,
that slowed one's inner thoughts.
There was a suspended pendulum,
that ceased its free swing,
and all at once, it seemed,
there was motion in grief.
There was a single drop of rain, that caught the passing days.
There was a forward movement,
and inside the fray of life,
I could feel a light begin to take shape.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 6 · 56
I Remember
I remember kindness.  
I remember love.  
I remember grace so pure that it blinded me like the sun.  
I will carry that with me always.  
I will shield it like the light within me, a light that grows each time I rise above the ugliness I have known.  
Every time I choose life, I remember you.  
Every time I choose to care for myself instead of letting this world make me feel unworthy of love, I remember.  
Thank you for all the love you poured into me and for being a light during my storms.  
I remember…

-Rhia Clay
Jun 6 · 3
Freedom
So, the morning called to her.
Rise, it said.
Don't you feel the air whispering?
It is filled with freedom.
Use it wisely; savor every drop.
Stretch it across your life until it covers everything.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 6
Achievements
Getting lost, and living solely for achievements, is no way to live.
What is next on the list of things to achieve?
Will it ever be enough?

-Rhia Clay
Jun 5 · 161
Moment In Time
I stood in silence, and though the world offered me no time, I stole some time, and I relished in the victory of the moment I had stolen.
It belonged to no one, save me.

-Rhia Clay
Jun 5 · 34
Not Many Words
I don’t have many words today, as the day’s work has worn me down. Instead, I possess a quiet but firm resolve. Softly, under my breath, I whisper “Jesus,” and for now, this is enough...

-Rhia Clay
In my days and nights, I seek you, Lord, with all my might.
I trust in you, and even when my trust wavers, yours never does.
I reach for you, and I never stop searching for you.
I search every cell within me for you and seek to spread your kindness.
Long ago, when my mortal mind gave in and sank beneath the waves, you carried me above them, breathing life back into tired lungs.
If you search my depths, you will find that all things beautiful and good stem from you.
When I am unable to let go, I remember the trust I have in you.
I trust you when I don’t understand how I will survive, how you will make a way for me.
I am forever your child, looking for shelter under your wings.
I am your daughter, looking to honor her king.

-Rhia Clay
May 30 · 162
Story
Tell me a beautiful story, but just for tonight, please don't punish me with the truth...

-Rhia Clay
May 30 · 144
Roots
I don’t know how to quit. I am not made that way. I don’t give up.
I burrow into the earth and dig deeper roots.
I bend and dance, but through God’s grace, I mend—full of both fury and grace.

-Rhia Clay
May 30 · 250
Replenish
Just a moment spent in prayer,
is worth more than all the wisdom this world can offer me.
Just a whisper from Jesus,
is enough to replenish,
to find the strength to finish my journey.

-Rhia Clay
May 28
Light
Great are those who lend their light to those who have lost their own. They are miracles in human form.

-Rhia Clay
Take me somewhere slow and easy.
Take me somewhere where the pain can’t be felt through the waves as they crash against the shore.
Take me somewhere where the skies are so blue that their brilliant hues can bind the hurt.
Take me somewhere where the pressure of life doesn’t consume me, as the music lulls and keeps anxiety at bay.
Take me somewhere where I’m not expected to bind my joy to pay the people’s currency.
Take me to a place where life is gentler, where the wind caresses my face and the sun warms my days.
Please take me away from here.
I’ll find my peace on the horizon, out on the open highway.
It’ll find me as the moon lays its song on me, soft lullabies for a weary heart.
And I’ll be okay, I promise, once I leave this place.
I’ll leave the pain and all the damage here.
I’ll lay it down for good, all that this town has put me through.
All the tears and tired souls with plastic hearts and stone faces.
Take me somewhere where the air is crisp and clean, and I’ll breathe easier as I lean into the breeze.
Take me somewhere slow and easy.
Anywhere but here…

-Rhia Clay
May 27 · 67
Beat
This bends my mind.
Welds my thoughts, turning them into gold.
The heartbeat within me slows and speaks.
It twists like metal wrapping around my being.
Like the beams of highway lights, the day's light lingers.
It lingers in a wayward manner,
seemingly afraid to depart,
turning in and wielding light.
Inside out, it seeks a dark place to shelter.  
This life surrounds me.  
It’s paper confetti and barbed wire—  
always bending and never breaking,  
celebrating and awakening.  
Tell me, what is it that we are forsaking?

-Rhia Clay
May 24 · 41
Symphony
Life is a beautiful emotional symphony.
A tapestry of exquisitely arranged chords of truth,
melodies of blue.
All orchestrated and arranged in a stunning range of love,
and a lasting stanza, encompassing all that is unknown..
I hope your melody walks with you gracefully all your life.
May it softly serenade you when you believe all hope has vanished,
and offer you healing, always remaining by your side,
whispering to you endlessly, from dusk till dawn.

-Rhia Clay
May 23 · 33
Peace
Value your own peace enough to guard it fiercely.
Regard it as something precious,
because it is.
Make no apologies for doing what you think is right to maintain your sense of peace.
No one understands you better than you,
what you must do to take care of yourself,
and you owe no one an apology for how you choose to protect your energy, your peace.

-Rhia Clay
May 21 · 96
Your Daughter
I hear both your words and the unspoken thoughts behind them.
I hear the whispers of judgment that fall between the cracks in the floor and are felt from the other end of the telephone.
While I don't need your acceptance, it's still hard to accept that, as your daughter, you still don't see me.
What you focus on is what I lack in your eyes, and all that needs to be "fixed."
I am so much more than my shortcomings, and I deserve love and respect, even as an imperfect being.
I realize that now.
Yet, after all these years, your judgment still stings, and my heart continues to ache with the pain it brings.
So, I love you from a distance, so that I can safeguard my heart, so that I can remain whole.
I refuse to dwell among those who seek to undermine me.
I have won too many wars to fight another battle with myself.

-Rhia Clay
May 21 · 312
More of This
We drank coffee and smoked cigarettes as the sun rose.
We spoke in philosophical rhymes, unaware of the passage of time.
I realize now that the love we had is lost.
You reach for me, but I am a phantom. Long ago, I stopped reaching back.
Still, what we had—the raw and unearthly attraction, the bond forged between our two souls—is unlike anything I’ve ever known.
I will be alone until love strikes my heart like it once did.
I want a love that burns me to ash and then resurrects itself from the remnants.
I want a love that bleeds, gives, and never makes me question my worth.
If I can’t have that, I am content with nothing at all.

-Rhia Clay
May 21 · 293
Stay
If I spread my soul out before you, would you stay, seeing all my light and all my dark?
  -Rhia Clay
May 21 · 255
Moments
Then there are those moments which touch the soul,
and you wish you could freeze them in time.
Sometimes, mere moments of kindness can heal years of pain.

-Rhia Clay
May 18 · 98
Casting Hope
I am grateful for those shining their light into this world, for those fighting for the good, despite the pain they've known.

I am most careful with them because they're the best part of this world, casting their hope into the dark, casting their nets into the stormy seas.

-Rhia Clay
May 18 · 114
Falling
Feeling the torn wings and shattered dreams.
Tear-stained pendulum swinging, as my eyes stare down the light in the hallway with a ten-yard stare.
Climbing into my soul, I cling to the shadow of my angel, trying hard to hold onto a ray of hope, like a dream catcher chasing away bad things.
Falling, I realize that in this descent, I am discovering myself on my way to the ground.
Falling endlessly and quietly, without a single sound,
I ask myself how much farther down I must go.
My soul whispers back softly, “Until you’re found.”

-Rhia Clay
May 16 · 290
Remember
I breathe deeply, remembering sweetly.
I close my eyes, and the sound of the wind as it runs along the beach is close.
The sound of seagulls fills the air, and the piercing sun that causes me to squint is hot on my face.
The hum of the car stereo rings in my ears, and I feel its rhythm in my fingertips.
My heart swells with happiness as my grandfather smiles warmly at me and asks if I’d like an ice cream.
I am as happy and drunk on life as I will ever be.
At this moment, I don’t yet realize that the grandfather I know as my father will soon leave me, as his body begins to fail him and his heart beats for the last time.
I am 10 years old and I believe he will live forever; death is the farthest thing from my mind. Life still feels gentle and breezy.
It’s on days like these that I hold on to the memories of my father. I carry his smiling, gentle eyes in my heart, and on the dark days, I fight harder because he loved me so deeply.
I let that love burn away the pain.

-Rhia Clay
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