Bloomed upon a star!
The setting sun sliding far
into the twilight pool
captured the picture!

Eye on the bumblebee!
That was first to bask in the sun
and thought dove to the length
into the shades of the midday rose.
There it's silhouette gets caught
is half-lit by the milky way brook.

Shades of blue put
in the mix an inky shadow.
Oh, what’s in an unseen hue?
The sprawling black night puts
a veil on the day on every eyeball.  
Guess what it’s anyone guess!
The master painter of the day
even the sun shuffles blindfolded
an acre of the night down the full moon!

I don’t be here
Cause when I am
It’s like I’m new here
And my pain surprises me
Wakes me up
From nightmare to nightmare

I go somewhere
In my thoughts I’m lost
The comfortable kind
A drive with no destination
Coloring out of the lines
It’s easier that way
Don’t make me stay

I have rage inside of me
It comes out on my family
But mostly on myself
This constant bickering with
Me and mine

I want to give it all up sometimes

It’s as if I’m always floating
Between me and the air
Debating where is best to be
What thoughts I owe to the moment

I have guilt for the years I lost
And I have habits that I don’t
Even see most of the time
I want to scream most of the time

I keep trying to remind myself that
It’s not so serious
It’s all okay
And it all works out how it should
But that doesn’t match
The depth of what I’m feeling
It feels pretty ******* serious to me

I left myself deliberately last week
Traveled to the past and hopped on the train of
Ambivalence
Abuse
In some ways it was preferable
I know how to be abused
I know where to go and what to say
I know how to hold my body
What posture is correct

I don’t know about this other ****
This moving on
This feeling
This allowing
Accepting
My thoughts are a haven from the world of pain in my whole body
My consciousness feels tainted
My soul feels weak

I’m so sick of battling
I want to be free and the only way out is in
I know it is
And my fighting it is only making matters worse
I don’t know how not to though
I don’t know how to exist without losing myself
I don’t know how to love without becoming the other person
I don’t know how to breathe without wilting on the exhale

In the shadowy, silent street I walk
The darkness of the night engulfs my spirit
Like the soddy soils covering the rock’s
Brilliant colour of ruby, red passion.
The daring dreams for the future
Has caused my soulful eyes to ashen-
Blinded by the present reality-
The dreams begin to fade.

In the shadowy, silent street I walk
The mind has lost its mentality
And strength to wade
Through the current bleakness of life.
The midnight shadows of the street
Have caused me to lose sight.
Can the faith of the heart bring light?

In the shadowy, silent street I walk
The cicadas buzz bitterly in the quiet street,
Stirring memories of mundane voices
That has caused me to cheat
Myself from making personal choices.
I cry silently in despair
For fear has swept my sense of direction.

In the shadowy, silent street I walk
A distant street lamp lit up the solemn street
Providing me with a sense of protection
The heart burns with a passionate heat
Providing strength for my body to move with affection
Towards the mystery of the shadowy, silent street.

(c)2018 Joanne Chang

My feet were splintered and cracked from crawling in the broken trees,
but still I stood and stared through the wooden beams
to see far below me, to gaze into the eyes of the howling beasts.

I hoped desperately that they not see me,
but their heads flashed upwards and their tongues pulled me from my perch.
I could hear every word now, trapped underneath their fumbling feet.
They moved slowly over me, working meticulously.

I waited for the evening, when the dying rays of the sun sank into the tile from the doorway,
and when they would vanish melt into the darkness of his shadow.
I wait and wait some days, but they never melt just right,
instead only turning the whole world into night.

His shadow doesn't arrive sometimes for days and nights,
sometimes, though, it takes months and once a year,
but every day I long to hear,
his rough and Southern drawl,
whether it be telling me that I am *****
or small.

Most days I do not care what it is he'll do or say,
I only care that he is there, and that he will make the monsters go away.

He has seen you every summer and the rain
He has seen you in and out of pain!
He has been there all your life
Silently watching over you as you took that knife
He saw you hurt your own self
In your room behind that shelf!
He was there beside you all along
Your own shadow was the only one who stayed this long!

She is broken, by herself
Not knowing the cost of what she did
Its hunting her, just like  her shadow
It is consuming her soul
Despite of all the run and escape, she will always be caught
She wished her death once, but the demons won't let it
She is suffering by her own, gripping on no one
She is standing on her feet by her own but she is now crippled by herself