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Guarded by the beautiful trees
I sit
Dwelling in the sun
My chest being warmed
My eyes closed
"Trust me", sings the soft breeze
As I surrender to the being
To the moment
To birds' and nature's sounds around me
Will my best ever be enough?

Will I ever heal?

Do I have to live the rest of my life like this?

Do I have to keep feeling like this?

How will I ever love again?

How can I ever trust anyone after what you've done?

Where did I go wrong?

Where is the happiness I so want to feel?

When did it start falling apart?

When will I finally leave this all behind?

Why do I feel nothing?

Why do I feel everything all at once?

What am I doing here still?

What did I do to deserve this?

Can I ever feel normal again?

Can I actually live my life, like this?

Who is at fault for this?

Who is there to blame other than myself?

Am I ok?

Am I perfect enough?

Will I ever be satisfied

Will I ever be happy again?

The questions only keep growing in the cell of disarray that is my mind.

Every single one fall on deaf ears.

Spain without the s
One day I woke up. I woke up to the reality that the life as I once knew was shedding and I will never be the same.....

I can not speak for everybody, but I can speak for myself. One day I woke up to the fact that I did not want to keep singing the same classic blues of a troubled past. That I no longer wanted dance to a beat of another heartbreak, that I no longer wanted to fight for my worth and that I belong in this world. That I wanted to be in the moment and  acceptance of being.
You might ask,  what does that have to do with suppressed emotions? For me that I suppressed how much that I was hurting. That I had to keep on a mask to show I was worthy. That I had to pretend to much that I was ok, when I wasn't. That as I begin to wake up, If my actions were that impactful while hurting.. Lets thinks about how impactful they are if I am healed.
They say there are three sides of a story. Your truth, their Truth and The Truth. Well My truth is what I can walk in. And If the past was just that painful what are ways I can change the story to become impactful...

-Janielle Green
Have society  become obsessed with living in pain. The addiction is real.. hope one day we can heal.
Abbyss 3d
Music for the soul
Music for the body
Oh what more it is than merely a hobby

Notes strung together as stitches for a heart
A lasso for our capture so we'll never be apart
Boundless medication all for your choosing
Take what delights you, in this there's no losing

Let the waves flow over, replacing thoughts
with a powerful passion for this welcome onslaught
Let the melodious stream come flooding in
Altering your system, drowning your inner scream

Music for the weary
Music for the joyous
Oh how i give thanks that it's always among us

A passing of a message
as the hologram, begins..
Do the things we  create  on earth
really wash away our sins?

Paintbrush, dips
onto medium  that slips

   from that  which really is.

Such an energy, spent
of our time--  
to us.. only lent

    to see   

            if we

are self-centeredly, bound
                  ..or heaven sent.

heaven scent
Sa Weol May Apr 28
In the dark,
In pain,
In sorrow,
I see you walking beside me,
Catching all my tears away,
Turning it into pearls,
Telling me my worth,
But having you is more worth than this.

In the rays of light,
In healing,
In happiness,
I can't see your sadness anymore,
As I look into your eyes,
I see brighter days with you,
Rainy weather may intrude,
But we will just dance in the midst of it.

Ostef Apr 28
No one knows the tears I cry at night
no one knows the pain I always fight
no one knows the love I suppress
No one knows the lies I try to dress
I want someone to see me and not my body
see my soul rather than my being
stop touching me and just feel my feelings
stop talking and please help me start healing
I promise we can bear the weight of the world if you knew me
where are you I miss you...
Johnnyqu33r Apr 27
And when I've made the descent
All there is to ask for is a clean break
Easier for the bone to set together
Fuse back into what it used to be

Caught frozen in frame
Waiting for it to melt away
Fast forward through the dark
Clenched fists and screaming

Appreciate the solitude
Healed bones and muscles
Dance beneath the moon full
Just the spirits and I alone
I am shattered.
Just like anyone else.

But it does not mean that I am far gone.
All I need to do is gather the pieces.

When I find them all eventually.

off meds right now
azumiya Apr 24
what to do when you're done being mad?
what to do when you're done blaming yourself and other people?
what to do when you're done being sad?
what to do when you're done confronting the painful memories?
what to do when you've sobered up?
what to do when you're finally healed?

Begin again.
I have fought the good fight.
Now give me the good times.
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