Sanny 7d
Pay
I've never felt this guilt before.

I might ruin your life.

But you've ruined mine.

You destroyed me.

Yet I feel like I'm the one to blame.

It's your sins, yet they feel like mine.

You always put them on me.

But this time you're gonna pay for them.

So why am I the one carrying the heavy weight?
Bharti Singh May 18
Don't be "full" of yourself
As "empty" is "full" of "air"

Don't throw your "weight" around
As "hollow" is "light" in "weight"
sharelene May 17
this weight.

it's been on my shoulders for most of my life.

its constantly weighing me down and it seems to get heavier the more
stressed i begin to feel.

i don't want to believe they're responsibilities and the high expectations i hold for myself, but they are.

which fucking sucks.

why do i have to live my life stressing over an exam that won't matter in several years when i could be worrying about the imminent plummet of this planet called earth.

this world, this planet, Earth.

it could die any time soon.

it could suddenly implode on itself, it could instantly fall to its inevitable doom due to pollution, overcrowded populations, human pollution.

this world that we deem as "home" could instantly disappear and we would go along with it.

but here i am

stuck worrying about an exam that determines whether or not i get college credit for the class.

stuck worrying about how my grades look in comparison to everyone else in my classes.

stuck stressing over the fact that i am not worthy enough to my parents because my level of intellectuality just isn't high enough for them.

stuck stressing over how i don't know what my friends think of me and whether or not they actually hate me even in the slightest.

i've conditioned myself to worry

about the absolute wrong things.

i despise that humans are identified based on their intelligible intellectualism rather than the amount of knowledge they've gained by simply living.

we all live in a world where, for some reason, numbers matter more than the youth's, young adult's, adult's mental and emotional health.

everyone is so worried about how much money they have because that's what they need to survive.

we need money in order to have that false sense of security.

money.

it's all we care about.

but in order to get that money, we must go through the hells and stresses and anxieties and depression episodes that is known as

the american educational system.

why must i worry about the letter grades when i could worry about the fact that people are dying.

that this planet of ours is dying.

that we don't know enough about the universe to even deem it as safe.

i and many others have this weight of over achieving expectations and responsibilities.

i have to do good in school or else i'll be seen as a failure.

i have to get straight A's or my parents will be disappointed in me.

i have to get a high education or else i won't be eligible for college.

and if i don't go to college, i don't have a degree and i don't get a job and i have no money and i will eventually die off as no one.

i'd absolutely hate to die knowing i stressed over some fucking letter and number grades when i could've explored my purpose and my meaning for living and why i drive myself to continue living.

yet, i will be too old to discover those things because i decided to dedicate all of my precious time to anxiety attacks and depression episodes because i failed several tests.

why must i and many people worry about this heavy weight on our shoulders.

why must this weight be so awfully heavy.
this was inspired by a conversation my friend and i had last night about how we stress about the wrong things and how we, as humans, are identified by the wrong values.
PoetheticSoul May 14
Skinny, I was told I was not.
Skinny, I was taught.
Skinny is the thing that makes
All the men love you more,
And that makes you hate
Yourself even less.
Skinny is the answer to every
Question you ever had.
Your intelligence, personality,
And your perspective,
It all means nothing. Even your
Heart means nothing, if
Your body is not thin.
Skinny.
Hair color.
Weight.
Clothes.
Piercings.

Why all of a sudden changes?

You didn’t seem to hate yourself before.

Maybe it’s your demons again.

Oh yeah.
You aren’t good enough.

                         With love,
                              Anonymous
Inner thoughts
Amanda May 11
I inherited my mothers unnecessary fear
It is unfolding as we speak, inside
I am going forth courageously
In my stomach it's moving side to side.

The weight is heavier
Than I thought I could carry
Even seated, brings me down
And now I am growing wary.

Not delicate or weak anymore
Fighting this made me strong
I am a servant to my burden
Dragging worry painstakingly along.

I have been taken over by this
Helpless, it lets itself in
Persuades my eyes to stare at the ceiling
Not allowing me to win.

I escape out the window
Step onto the porch inside my scattered mind
But it is only a feeble reprieve
Flimsy and shoddy, albeit intricately designed.

My head a paper-thin labyrinth
A maze of my unique making
I wander, I lose myself
Within high walls, cold and aching.

I roam to and fro, inch by inch
North or South? I do not really know
What are a hundred directions worth
If you haven't a clue where you're trying to go?
I hated how overprotective my mom is growing up but now I understand why she was always so concerned about me. I am always thinking about the worst possible case scenarios at any given moment.
It's a weight
It's a weight
It's a weight
You pin me down
Crush me on the ground
I hear my therapist say
"Your mother loves you," every day
But she weighs me down
"Why don't you try?"
"Can't you just lie?"
"Do it for her sake."
Her sickness it just takes and takes
My heart just continues to break
She yells and she screams
I don't know what to believe
And I just lie there
Till I can't move
Till I've lost all I can loose
And it hurts
Oh god it hurts
She is my guilt
She is my fear
She is my hate
And I hate I hate and I hate
I hate my hands and my eyes
I hate everything that looks like her
I hate my DNA
I hate the weight
On my chest
And
I hate
Myself.
I'm tired of all this weight. It's hard to breathe.
maya May 8
My weight is none of YOUR business.
Ilion gray May 2
Every word is weighted...
every sound..
everything..ever...everywhere..
It's the weight of simply being
Alive...
nothing in the wake of infinity
Is weightless my child,
..When you forget who you are, and you become
                                            Only human....
Knowing the weight of being will guide
You
In not forgetting..
That when we are born
in order to lift our arms
We had to raise
the weight of a tiny universe!
We had to reject
the weight of eons,
in order to raise our eyelids,
Light pouring in
Like a star traveling
through the infinite
To the darkest spaces
where light has not been
..raging traveler
Wrapped in fire,
swallowing fire!
once it has passed...by this way,
spinning
Out of control,
as if God were skipping holy ancient stones across the sea of heavens.....
that space will never be
Empty
              again!
Never be completely dark....
Just as
I
am not a poet,
Just as love is not love,
And the heart,
is only named a heart,
As true as God exist
Whether we agree on his name or not.
Soon they will know...
You who gave them each their own universe
To subdue, freely...
Yet
They meander through hours tediously obsessed with tiny screens
Surrounding themselves with,
Sharply, Shining, mind
sterilizing streetlights
amid flashing signs.....
You,
       must      
                               go out away sometimes...
Out where God still walks among the
Ageless trees
telling tidings in wild wind
whispering
amid waves of leaves,
through songs of birds..  
where all the spaces are full,
with the
Stellar silence of gods footsteps traveling
across the woods of days...

You must go now!... .those few who escape
Will know the weight of days..
Everyone else will go blind..
Beware!
....and be humble..
For you have not known such light...
The rage of its energy
Destroying everything evil,
all at once...and without question..
Then they will know,
But it will be too late..
And never will you see this world in
Such a plight
as will be that day!
I am not a poet,
I do however
know the exact weight and measures in
words..
for everything existing..
I came only to remind you,
If we forget how to read the stars
When they are  no longer impossible to reach,
When children no longer gaze at the
endless
        heavens
                                    everlasting...

for hours,
    

When they can no longer climb trees
and be completely at peace with simply existing..,
When we chase the light across 8 lane streets and tv screens,
Creating a false definition of creation,
Do not be fooled!
Soon they will charge you for the electricity
You use in your dreams..
And the people will stop dreaming...
Because you can't turn off the lights
In dreams...


After tonight..
The world will never sleep again..

Only eating, drinking,working
Repeat...aimlessly
While in our midst tiny universes collide
And we are walkers through constellations
Only seen and mapped
By those who have learned the weight
Of everything
in all the spaces..,
Simply the weight of being...
If you do not listen when you hear
The tidings of the weight of being..
and the day of days...
you will be found out among
Those who could not hear
Over the raucous roars
Of starved lions stalking in the tall corpse of sun Burnt grass...their bones crunching beneath
The weight of Satans vengeful grasp...
They're Waiting, only
to tear you to pieces...

I am not a poet..
I am just like you,
Like you...
I am a universe..
Always existing after we are born aging comfortably in the belly
Of the almighty,
Infinitely...
And because at birth our
First breath is
our last
perfect Breath,

We would fair best
Simply knowing,

That even the raindrops
fall freely,
Yet
Often times
freezing,
                    utterly,
At the will of the wind...
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