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Alice 5d
I am a wilting flower.
I am over-watered, hung heavy.
I am the blackish-blue in your eyes after a flash.  Splotchy, blinding, lacking clarity.
I am the looks you receive and the smiles you don’t when you enter a room
I am the ringing in your ears, the sharp alarm
of your eardrum dying.
I am the weight in your stomach, a cowbell sitting above your bladder.
I am the cold.
I am the frigid wind at 5 a.m. on a February morning.
I am the dark, suffocating, all-encompassing feeling of being smothered beneath a pillow.
I am the frostbite which makes your fingers swell and feel like needle jabs.
I am the exact-o knife against your skin.
I am the beads of blood.
I am the slice which opens up when you pull on my lips, revealing the muscle inside.
I am the wall which stares back as you sit staring.
I am the voice in your head which cycles over and over.
I am the rotten banana peel left on the lunch table for the janitor.
I am the wreaking garbage on your curb.
I am the abandoned wrapper everyone steps over but no one picks up.
I am the dried gum stuck to the sidewalk and under desks.
I am the drowsiness, the lack of concentration, the sadness.
I am the numbness, the lead in your limbs, the cramps in your back.
I am the constipation and the nausea.  
I am the headaches which press into your temples.
I am the thoughts and the quiet holding you to the bed.  
I am the used condom left in the vineyard.
I am the empty roads and stoplights after dark.
I am the fist which clenches your heart.
I am the suffocation.
I am the loneliness.
I am the fear.
I am the self-hatred.
I am the weight.
I am the loss.
I am the spreading.
I am the increasing while you decrease.
I am the dark cloud.
I am the thunderstorm.
I am the heavy rain on your windshield on the highway.  I am the broken windshield wipers. you cannot see anymore.
I am the empty cavity in your chest.
I am the remembered, you are the forgotten. .
First poem in a small series I did a few years back.  Very sad and rather personal.  A few vague triggers, but please do not read if triggered easily!  Once again, if you in any way feel like this for an extended period of time, please seek help and I promise it gets better!
misha Sep 14
do you feel  anxious?
can you still eat without
having the thought
that maybe you'll
swell up and
can't get past door
or hearts?
wanting to be like
paper but
you never thought
that being paper
was fragile
and that people
could write all
over you.
what you needed
was thick skin
and a thick heart.

do you feel scared?
when you hear your
name, thinking
are they talking
about your scars?
your imperfections?
your breakouts and your
bruised skin.
can you look at someone
straight in the eye
without thinking
that they're staring
at that ugly mole
and aren't even
focusing on you,
so you look down
at their feet
but darling,
you should look
at them with pride
because your scars,
marks and pimples
are not an end
but they are
a journey,
a story
of what
you've gone
through.

do you feel stressed?
when compare your body
to a model or an idol
who has a tiny waist,
yet she's curvy,
do you measure your breasts,
your waist and looking
for solutions to looking
like your 'dream girl'
that you dream about,
the one who's
so confident
so beautiful
so perfect?

have you ever thought,
that maybe
your dream girl
was actually inside of you?
she came to birth with you
she opened her eyes with you
she said her first word with you,
she walked with you.

and she'll dream with you
oh she'd care for you,
look out for you,
crave for you
but most of all
she'll love you.

you are your dream girl.
i think nothing is more attractive than self respect, endurance and confidence. we all show them in different ways but we all do shine like the brightest of stars. be you!
On every visit
I was encouraged
To burn more

From,
XXXL to XXL
XXL to XL
XL to L
L to M

Now
I feel great
Sense of achievement

Easier to breathe
Easier to move
Genre: Clinical Inspirational
Theme: On Global Obesity Trend
k Sep 6
The scars on my hips have
withered away but still bear
the weight I have gained
and even if they are
"happy pounds"
I am not feeling the joy
of sucking the burden in
because I am too proud to
admit I have gone up two sizes
and no matter how hard I try
to take the weight off
my shoulders (stomach)
I only have the self control to
play games inside my own head
as if starving myself one day
will lead to skinniness the next,
as if I haven't led myself
down this path of destruction once before.
SoSo Sep 5
He says that I'm enough, that I'm cute, that he likes me just the way I am, but I'm sure that's not true.

I say I want to lose weight, that it's better for my health and this isn't the body I wanted for myself. He says I'm beautiful just the way I am, but I don't remember asking if I was ugly.

I'm sure he means the best, but what's wrong with not feel comfortable in your own skin? I didn't always look this way so why start now?

Chubby is cute, but not for everyone; at least not for me.
I'm not trying to body Shane anyone. I just have been feeling extremely does about gaining weight recently. My weight isn't salary of my pen standards for myself right now and would like to be in a more positive place.
rose Sep 4
...
I had coffee and a cigarette for breakfast
So yeah I'm doing fine
I've become good at taking weight off of other peoples shoulders
and
Searching for happiness in everything
:)
♋︎

We have become so accustomed to one another
You have grown on me over the years
I accepted how you clung to me
You become part of me

then I realized

You are not good for my heart
You weigh me down
You make me ugly
You are unhealthy

and now

I want you gone
I hate you now
Time to go

♋︎
If you think this is about relationship and love between two people, you are wrong. :-)  Love to read your thoughts about it.  This is all about the weight you gain.
julianna Sep 3
Skinny skinny
Thin and skinny
Shrink me down and make me skinny
Exercise or just don’t eat
Run until the furthest street
Why do I always feel this way?
Something’s wrong inside my brain,
It only matters what I weigh.
Skinny skinny
Thin and skinny
Shrink me down and make me skinny
Eyithen Sep 1
I am worn
Tears threaten to spill
An oncoming storm
Thunder rolls with anger

They are testing the waters
Don't you see the dark clouds approaching?
There is a shift in the air.
Can you not  feel it?

Pushed too far
I'm about to burst
A darkness is descending, beware

I'm reaching my limit
You better watch out
Like a cloud i can only take so much
Before I break from the weight.
worn, crying, storm, anger, pushed, limit, weight, break, done
For many years I have been on diets. lost weight and gained it all back. The biggest mistake was when I ignore unhealthy choices. Long term had significant consequence's -for example various health problems. Time and time again I have been caught up in the same rut. I have neglected my health.  It has taken a lot of thought as to why I couldn't control these   food binges . firstly I had to dig deep find out the root cause of my problem. after many years of pain of over eating I learned that I was only hurting myself more.   often my anger was passive and that would affect my diet.  Fear seemed to be another emotion that would make me turn to snacking. anything from cream crackers cheese and biscuit's.
that's the only way I could suppress my emotions. other words I relie on food to comfort my emotions.

the battle to stay from bad choices was unbearable while everyone else seemed to be enjoying sweet things, I new I shouldn't  but I just gave into it. Soon it became a very bad habit leading to a huge amount of weight gain. I soon realised my clothes were becoming tighter uncomfortable  to wear. Only I could be the one to change things  what I needed was inspiration, motivation,  from somewhere but were.?  

Day after day I struggled to get motived until one day while eating a big hunk of bread my crown tooth fell out. That's when I said enough  was enough. Today my journey begins
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