Wide or narrow space,
The gap between your legs,
justifies whether you're
perfectly shaped or unfit
just by the distance
of your thighs.
I truly wonder how
of women started
with a simple spread of
her beautifully shaped legs
from calling her a slut,
to calling her fat.
you seem to have
many names from
just staring at the
legs her mother gave.
if I really have to say,
who are you to
judge that anyway?
Self-love is what I promote
I'm a walking contradiction
Cause loving me is complicated
The definition of self-love was defined and passed on to me by my mother
And it was passed to her from her mother
A cycle I wish to stop with my daughter
Light shines on my flaws
But my best qualities are shadowed
But without the slightest bit of light
You can't see a shadow
Without seeing my ugly
You'll never be able to understand my beautiful
A beauty that surpasses more than just the physical
Only a few will understand this
In order for people to see the beauty in me
I must see it in me
Only I need to understand this
But loving me is complicated
November 17, 2017
Red dry patches there
Red dry patches here
Red dry patches everywhere
Irritating, itchy , and ugly
“Put some lotion and everything will be fine. It will be gone and it won’t be fugly”
If only it was that easy as a book I just read
I always keep myself on the low
You see, sometimes these patches bleed
And I cry, because it hurts and wish it will heal at such greater speed
I cry because when the water cleanses my body, it sometimes burns
I wish we could take turns
So you would understand
Why I can’t simply put myself with such confidence within myself, as I seem like a lost strand
Why my insecurities are high off the roof
How I want my body to disappear, like “poof”
How I’ll never have decent skin until many months from now
From time to time admiring other people’s fair skin and I say “wow”
I wish I had normal skin
So I wouldn’t have to be dry and flaky, I would’ve had some sort of win
I wish I could be able to wear clothes that reveal some of my beauty from my body
But being snapped in reality, it’ll just disturb everybody
So I shall wait
And just deal with everything as it is my fate
The stroke of my fingertips
running against my back
Dents of my fingernails
carved into my back.
Skin and bones,
Veins and nerves.
Sitting still as a stone
thinking of what I deserve.
From love and affection
to hate and disgust,
looking at my reflection
but all I see is a speck of dust.
Used and broken down.
Can't seem to find my self worth.
Tired of being shut down.
Let my voice be heard.
are much more
than what we are defined as
Our self worth and self love
are torn down
by those who see us weak.
But our voices
will damned be heard.
Power and love
is what we prefer.
To some his arrival means a smile
but those are not the sane
he charms and whispers, promises of change -
He cures the pain he cuts the joy away
the smiles cannot stay
to fall for him is to commit great sin -
To follow him is to seek destiny
a fate found far too soon
she, yet too young, knows not what can be done
He didn’t love me, not really,
He just didn’t want to be alone.
He wasn’t prepared to wait for me,
He enjoyed watching me hang on his every word.
He never intended to be faithful,
He always had another girl on the go.
He never felt a soulmate connection,
He beguiled me into believing the lies.
He never wanted “us” the way I once did,
He just wanted to bring me down into his darkness.
He wanted what all narcissists want,
Adoration, Affirmation and a new member of his harem.
He will one day realise that I was everything and he is left with nothing. I will rise, my heart will again be free. The way it’s going to start is by learning to love me.
I Cut and Cut to shred away the skin I wore when I was with you.
I tear away the time we’ve had to find the me before you.
Find the old cloth under all the patches you placed over me.
You thought you were fixing me
By covering the holes, the tears, the tatters. Those were me ; my loves my losses, my memories.
By Friends and family I will piece together a new self. They will be the stitches that put me back together and hold me as a reborn whole.
The quilt made by my hand, held together by my choices. will be all the warmth and comfort I will ever need.
She might feel worth...less than
The tree next to her
But she knows she has a worth
And probably a purpose too
But the one there provides shade
One with branches for birds
But she is neither
Is she just another tree
In the forest
She just wants it to end
Maybe her purpose is to be a paper
To her sometimes it sounds better than to be living
So they cut her down
And slowly all the other trees too
And now its not a forest but just a park with a few trees.
I need to do what is best for me and in order to do that, I need to erase you from my life.
I can't let myself feel hope that we're going to get back together.
I can't wait around for you anymore.
I need to find myself and make myself happy without you.
You are not the person for me anymore and I am not the person for you.
I think I am more in love with our memories than with you as a person.
You were right for me at the time but I molded myself to fit you.
I wasn't the me that I needed myself to be.
I can't allow myself to cry over you anymore.
And while the years we spent together were so full of love, I know deep down I wasn't happy.
I lost myself in you.
As hard as this is going to be, I need to find myself again.
I will come out of this strong and powerful;
And I wont need you anymore.