anxiety
depression
anxiety
depression

the only things that never leave your side
the ones that are always there for you
distracting you from the world
as your life passes you by

constantly reminding you
that you don't need anyone else
so why would that be a question

"hey it's us again! the ones that
assure commitment,
anxiety and depression"

you cling to their words
as they've lived up to their promises
of never leaving you alone

"never question our loyalty we'll always be here!
you're wanted, we want you! and that will never be unknown!"

"we're not sure why you don't want us around
you're always saying you want someone to come in your life
and stay a while
we thought coming around when you the most felt lonely
would at least make you smile!"

I was never scared of the dark until I met anxiety and depression
they lurk in the nights and watch me sleep and then yell "WAKE UP"
to let me know that self guilt and sadness is still in my possession

it's time to go out and find the cure for this ****** disease
the only things that will make them go away, self love & inner peace

it will be a long time before i find it
but i know who will push me
in the right direction

my old friends who said they'd stay by my side!
Remember them? Anxiety & Depression.

Take the pain away
Wash it from your face
Erase the days of questioning your own self worth
Unbutton your shirt
Lower your skirt
Grace the earth with your body
And bare your soul to the world
Be anything but unforgiving of yourself
You are more than your scars for
They are merely affirmations
Of a path well traveled on
And you wear them well
Don't let anyone tell you different
Just be the difference between then and now
Be unapologetically thankful that you are never alone when you're at home with yourself
Now Shower yourself with love
Beyond limit
Because you deserve it

every time somone has left
I've gotten a bit better at loving myself
there are lessons in the losses
and I've found solace in the vacancy beside me
I don't mean to refute my feelings
I still pray for someone to stay
but I won't let anyone feel as though they complete me
no one can disturb the peace I created in solitude

I’m in a good mood. My depressions been supressed with an iron fist not made out of maiden ,but its steal is killing off the stress i seem to dress when im in the state of no sleeping . By the morning here comes my sadness waking me up with a cup of boredom and regrets . “wake up *****” a slap across the face with ****** teeth and a pale ghost skin. hair up to the roof poking out to stick me again. her hair is the fences its in defense from all the neurons tryna attack against . I smile in humor but outside my canvas its a diffrent picture. stare at my refllection to see a girl petrefied of whats hidden deep inside her eyes. The bad always comes as a suprise . a kodak moment forever in black and white. the colors been stolen by the thieves in the night.Drag myself out of bed once again. My hands scrape the floor a rug burn seems to appear oh how she adores the pain outside the comfortness of my own doors. “Dont abuse me you started today but i swear this time im still not losing” . laugh was so big created an earthquake felt my brain shake at the noise she could make. “medical doctors saved you but no surgery can be done to your mental state . Dont come at me with a force i’ll break your bones this time and make it seem like it was fate” My fractures shivered in shame as she took the blame. Fear rose up to my ears they started bleeding as if they were tears. Oozing out blood as she drank cup after cup. Bruised lungs, but i still talk.Bruised heart yet i still love.weak bones yet i still walk. Dragged me towards ****, but im not giving up now. Got the key you had hidden on top of the shelf with all the other souls you take to feed off when your own sadness starts to fade. My body is draining out toxins as i get fed perioxide by the angel on my side. I’m not religious but a guardian always has a seat saved for me on every ride.  I can’t die now when lifes just started. Theres a purpose to every knowledge. I’m still taking courses simultaneously at my own pace in my own college . You dont follow rules and run red lights ,thats why you crash at night ,but i swear to you as long as the sun rises ima win this fight

i have come to the realization
that i have found a secret
that i did not even know was hidden
i have found the secret
to loving myself
i will still wake up
and look at myself
and dislike what i see
those days are becoming
less and less
the secret, dear ones
is that there is none
love comes with time
love comes with age
love comes when you see yourself
not as something to hate
but as something to care for
i dislike my thighs
i dislike my stomach
i dislike my acne prone skin
but
i love my ***
i love my curves
i love my eyes
i see the good in the bad
it isn't always easy
it rarely is
but my ***
is it worth it
to look in the mirror
and like what you see
to not be ashamed
but to be proud
to be the soul in the skin
i challenge
whoever is reading this
to try to lvoe yourself today
even if it's just today
that's still worth it