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As each day passes I hate myself more
Why does it seem like I’m always in the wrong?
“Know your place”, “you forgot your place” has become an axiom in my head,
I cannot help but think that I’m such a burden, inferior, useless, and shouldn’t live instead

I hate myself so much, everything is my fault no matter what I do
My character is criticised every single time,  the shadows on the wall chiding me for being such a fool
My heart’s so pain, I can’t breathe
With every breath, the more I hate me

The shadows haunt me, criticising every part of me
I need to change my entire self, the more wrong in myself I see
I hate every inch of myself, I don’t deserve to live
Why is it so painful to be criticised continuously, staying positive while taking all these in is a myth

The light casts on the shadows, bringing much happiness into my life,
My heart is full of joy during these times, the sadness and hatred becomes a lie
But when the shadows form and haunt me around at times,
I’m trapped - hatred for myself and depression hides in my cry  

“You’re weak and immature so you cry easily” was what I was told,
Weakness and immaturity adds on to my list - of the lowest lows
I can’t stop crying and wanting to self-harm, am I weak?
Or maybe those words has caused me to fail to accept any part of me

The shadows overwhelm me and engulf my sleep,
“You’re undeserving of anything”, is all the shadows have bestowed upon me
I always feel like I’m at fault even though I’ve tried, why is this so?
My character is questioned - I hate every part of my soul

I can’t help but wonder to myself…

Is the day that my tears dry,
Also the day that I die?
Behind every smile of mine hides a shadow which engulfs me, making me hate me
Tyler Aug 2022
Everything. Nothing.
Indistinguishable now.
Unbearable too.
Lately I’ve felt as though every little sound and feeling and smell and sight is grating at my nerves and chipping away at my sanity.

My clothes feel constricting and too loose and scratchy and smooth and not right

My ears are full of constant ticking and ringing and noise

My skin wraps my frame too tightly and I want to rip it apart and off of me but then I’d be cold and miserable

It’s all too much and everything is loud and jarring and I feel frenzied and too stuck and not stuck enough and all I want to do is jump in front of a van because then everything would
Just
Be
Quiet.
Blessed and sought-after and evasively, quiet.
Sensory overload *****.
Zack Ripley Mar 2022
Time will come
Time will go
There will be a time
You won't know which way to go.
You'll wonder if there's a way up
You'll wonder if there's a way out
At times, you'll be overwhelmed
And find your head filled with doubts.
"Am I enough?"
"Do I look good?"
"Am I worthy of love?"
"Am I misunderstood?"
But if there's one thing
We have in common,
It's that we all have time.
So, don't worry. Take your time,
and it will all turn out fine
Willow SR Feb 2022
Every single moment
Of every single day
Even when I'm happy
The madness won't stay away

For with every passing minute
I feel it all slip away
And instead of being sad
There's a numbness that stays
Zack Ripley Sep 2021
I'm trying to find a girl. She hides behind tears that no one sees her cry. I think she's trapped under a mountain of insecurities and lies people have told her. If you find her, can you tell her she's loved. Wanted. Can you help her understand she's not a burden if she wants to talk to someone?
Aspen Aug 2021
Last first days, time ticking
My time at high school falling
I should savor the moment
Live in the present
Before it all turns to dust

But how can I feel okay
When you're weren't here to stay?
You said I'll be fine and that I should be happy

I feel so disconnected
I'm going through the motions
And I don't know where I'm going

All my relationships feel meaningless
Can't compare them to what we had
Everything is changing so fast

Fighting, waves of the past, drowning
Screaming, but no one is listening
The world without you is so, overwhelming

I wish I weren't this complicated
I wish I could just live in the present
But my mind keeps going back to you
Without you nothing makes sense....

Guess I'll just keep feeling disconnected
And going through the motions
And not know where I'm going

Feeling like all my relationships are meaningless
Can't compare them to what we have
And face the fact
That you, and everything is changing too fast
Haha me having attachment issues and going through senior year without my best friend who left me for college. It's the second day and I already wanna die:)  

But yeah...you ever just, put all your eggs into one basket and have a very meaningful close relationship with one person and then when they leave you feel disconnected from everyone else because all your other relationships feel shallow and meaningless? That's me right now it's so fun.
Shruti Atri Aug 2021
It feels unbounded,
expanded beyond wrinkles,
hammered by swinging pendulums;
hardened, with time slipping by...

I feel bound
by forgotten promises,
lost and unfounded;
with tearful, tired eyes.

In the dark, I find words I can barely see,
feelings I can barely contain;
falling through the cracks,
overwhelmed with disdain...

I see no end to this depthless void...
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