Megan 8h
I am encapsulated in a cocoon of pain,
it runs through my veins –
my blood is oxygenated with sorrow.
I clutch a cigarette between my middle and index fingers,
the only thing I’ve touched so intimately since.
The smoke that trails into my lungs
blackens my insides,
ensuring I no longer have to refer to the darkness inside of myself using a metaphor.

Why should I care for a body I don’t want to inhabit anymore?

I am littered with scars,
from my metal companion –
a friend when I was no longer loved by all.
A fiery soul burned out,
like the cigarette that I wish to be infinite.
But phoenixes resurrect after they burn down in flames
- I always knew I was not human.

Maybe the heat I felt nipping the inside of my skin,
since I was an infantile girl
was preparing me for the flames that have now engulfed me,
making me question:
do I want to live or do I want to die?

But my favourite bed time stories were the ones about
the princesses that saved themselves,
and their animal companions that could bring themselves back to life.

Little did I know I would be both.

Little did I know
I was a princess and a phoenix
all in one.
Scarlett 16h
as a child i believed in monsters
and innocence
but i have learnt
over my years
that life isn't all sunshine and rainbows
we are canvases marked in colour
from our experiences
some darker than others
some lighter
but all of those brush strokes  
are a picture of beauty
our highs
and lows
acrylic on graphite
soft pastel hues
on angry slashes of colour
water colour wishes and charcoal sorrows
it's not loud and abrasive and in your face,
it holds a mystery, carved by shadows and light,
powerful in its subtly
She said she wanted a Knight in shining armour
But what she doesn't realize.
All the Dents, Cuts, and Scratches
Are due to the effort I applied to better myself
Each Battle, Conflict, and Barrier
May have left their marks on me
And yet here I stand

The armour I wear may be
Grimy, Gritty, and Dull
But I wouldn't wish it any other way
Because that would mean
To erase all I worked for
And all that I strive to be.

She said she wanted a Knight in Shining armour
Lean, Clean, and Pristine.
Well I wish her the best
On her foolish quest
Because I have more battles to war.

Failure slithered behind his tasty treat,
grinning silently in delight.
but the sweeping paw of Fate
had different plans tonight.
Failure whispered with a forked tongue,
I only come to play!
it was then that hunter became the hunted,
Her shadow looming in his way.
he'd mistaken a pawn for a rook -
in the dark he saw it clearly -
and when She roared, the earth shook.
O 2d
She means nothing to him,
Her heart is his to crush,
He says he adores her,
He builds up trust,
Just to show her her worth,
She looks at him with love,
She is the mat that lies in front of his door,
She was made to be broken,
Like a wild horse,
She fights until she can fight no more.

She gathers her things when he's not home,
Packs up her car and locks the door,
No note, no explanation,
Just freedom once more,
Though she fears the inevitable.
When he finds her, what will she do?
He still has her trapped,
Scared and fearful, he'll be coming soon.

Love was replaced with hate,
Fear with drive,
Let him go ahead and try,
She breaks down from time to time,
Remembering why,
Why she can't be normal,
Why she has so many triggers,
Yet she grows and she grows,
In her mind he's a dark figure,
A figure to strive to beat,
He has no power here,
She plays that sentence on repeat.

He hasn't come yet,
She's breathing relief,
No more nightmares,
She's working through the bad memories,
He has no power here.
He has no power here.
He has no power here.
With every day that passes, I feel more power.
My dreams are like the stars in the sky
Seeming too far for me to just take
But to watch opportunity walk idly by
Is to accept a future mistake

Challenges are constantly thrown at me
But I take them in my stride
I still may not know what I want to be
But I refuse to let life decide

I work for the things I want and need
And luck may not always be on my side
But looking at my efforts, I know I've achieved
Because I'm happy enough that I tried

I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul
The reason to why my destiny's great
Is because it's under my control
Written when I was 15 and inspired by the poem Invictus
Amanda 3d
I never knew what pain was
Until I felt the sting of withdrawal
That's the kind of hurt that can cause
The strongest toughest man to fall

That's why I would do anything
Just to taste another hit
That is the biggest reason why
It's impossible to quit

I know that it's pure evil
It's poison but it brings me peace
Causes so many problems
But damn I love that sweet release

I spend all the money I have
On a vice that I despise
This love-hate relationship
Will surely be my demise

Too broke to go to rehab
Or support this habit
If I knew what would help
I would reach out and grab it

I become lost and hopeless
I want so badly to heal
But I'm always trapped by
This sickness that I feel

I used to look into mirrors
And see a smile there
Hating my reflection has
Replaced my smile with a glare

Is there any way to change?
Or is it already too late?
The worst part of this gutter?
I created my own fate

If I could go back in time
And do things right instead of wrong
I would never let this
Awful drug string me along

Heroin, you've got me
Im addicted, bound to your high
But I swear I am trying with
all my strength to say goodbye
This was written 1/14/17 over a year ago but reading it takes me back to the way I felt when I wrote it. I remember exactly how trapped and powerless I felt, not even recognizing the person staring back from the mirror, not caring about myself enough to look after my body, whether I lived or died didn't matter at all, I was just going through each day barely hanging on to the few threads of goodness I had left in my life. I am so much happier now and reading this makes me even more confident in my decision to never touch that disgusting poison again. This is my motivation. I don't ever want to be that girl again, I was a hollow empty shell of the real person I have now become and I have so many things that are fulfilling in ways that drugs will never be!
Turning pages of CV, they asked,
“ What is your strength?”

“Madness”, I replied.

Their brain are trained to hear,
1/5 Bone
3/5 flesh.

The usual.
Theme: let the Power of madness cherish
Note: Madness is a passion for life, love, work. 1/5 is the percentage of madness in general, if i am not wrong.
As reward for my patient years
Of sorrow, laughter, joy and tears
Life's handed me (to my surprise)
A "me" I cannot recognise

Her hands are bigger to catch pain
That weighs her down like heavy rain
Her eyes brighter, so she can see
The world I found a mystery

Her heart's stronger than ever mine
So she will handle life just fine
But there's so much she doesn't know
And so much more she needs to grow

So, when I think of years of yet
I remind her to not forget
That though she stands a better chance
One day she'll need a stronger stance
I wrote this when I was 16 because I always saw the ways in which I could continue to improve although I appreciated my growth.
Next page