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How can I change for you?
I won't even change for me
I don't change for anyone
I'm unchanging
i'm unchanging
Amanda Kay Burke Nov 2020
I see so clearly now
That I've had some time
Living in a separate realm
Somewhere I cannot find

Do not know where your mind is at
Only focus on one thing most of the day
Where do your thoughts go when you're well?
When you're high and your problems drift away?

I long to know where your heart goes
Often it runs somewhere far
It's there more than here with me
Some distant planet or star

To follow is my desire
Where my hands can reach
With not just physically
Aim to practice what I preach

The way you turn emotions off
Only a moment of dissent
Has me hiding so maybe you won't see
A thick yet transparent loosely guarded discontent

Cried many tears for you
Added up and washed my sight
Point of view began to change
Presently I realize that it wasn't right

The way life lived day-to-day
May not have noticed back then
Should have noticed a lot sooner
Of your flaws
It was easier to pretend

Well guess I should regret that now
A few years down the road I will
Hard to explain
Despite all the games
Do it all again for you still

You and I have something unique
Heart has never felt love this strong
Blind I may have been when we met
Still feel your arms are where I belong

To say I love is an understatement
Blame cupid
Making me fall
Maybe Aphrodite
Or St. Valentine
Has me heeding to your every call

Maybe it is the universe
Pushing us close with an invisible force
No cause for my attraction to you
Guess destiny is just running its course

Your behavior proves to be unchanging
Lose more you each day we make it through
More than 1/2 of your presence
Need to have all of you
Been taking sometime to catch up on all my old poetry I never had the chance to post on here
Some aesthetic, some anesthetic
were it my life flow, floating
through spheres by which
I conceive of the world,
Each with its gravity
and our lifelines
traced in the minds
of others. I used to live
like I was in an episode of
of Skins. Spirals move in and
out of view while I wonder how
we appear as characters, driven; we
build narratives, constructed of
the essence we perceive in
that scene: knowledge
of the moment as
Michael R Burch Apr 2020
Excerpts from the Journal of Dorian Gray
by Michael R. Burch

It was not so much dream, as error;
I lay and felt the creeping terror
of what I had become take hold . . .

The moon watched, silent, palest gold;
the picture by the mantle watched;
the clock upon the mantle talked,
in halting voice, of minute things . . .

Twelve strokes like lashes and their stings
scored anthems to my loneliness,
but I have dreamed of what is best,
and I have promised to be good . . .

Dismembered limbs in vats of wood,
foul acids, and a strangled cry!
I did not care, I watched him die . . .

Each lovely rose has thorns we miss;
they ***** our lips, should we once kiss
their mangled limbs, or think to clasp
their violent beauty. Dream, aghast,
the flower of my loveliness,
this ageless face (for who could guess?),
and I will kiss you when I rise . . .

The patterns of our lives comprise
strange portraits. Mine, I fear,
proved dear indeed . . . Adieu!
The knife’s for you.

Keywords/Tags: Oscar Wilde, portrait, Dorian Gay, journal, ageless, face, youthful, unchanging, rose, thorns, *****, vat, acid, acids, dismembered limbs, violent beauty, knife
Amanda Kay Burke Mar 2020
Trees turning late September
Leaves nosediving the ground
I know I should be changing too
Think as evening comes around

Fighting my shifting demons
Dropped to shaking knees
Autumn's knife struck my heart
Chill spreading like disease

With eyes shut in cold apprehension
Underneath a waning moon
Disappear and are replaced
By fear of Winter coming soon

Wrapped tight in blanket of desperation
Colors switch to dull from bright
The nights steadily grow longer
See less and less clinging daylight

Making pathetic attempts
Lift myself off the floor
To transform like the weather
Wishing to not be the same anymore

But heart remains frozen solid
The months continue on
Seek a metamorphosis
Still meet resistance each dawn

Temperatures decrease little by little
Doubts and insecurity rise
Avoid facing the bitter wind
Everything in nature dies

Animals go into complete hiding
Have to admit I relate
Sleeping in to escape the world
A way I also hibernate

I try climbing towards my goals
Instead like seasons dizzily Fall down
Stripped barer than naked jagged branches
Forced beneath icy feelings to drown

Frost covers each surface
Departs as morning wakes
Dew remains as evidence
Like shavings after erased mistakes

Not long until snow layers earth
Buries all white touches
I couldn't bury flaws as well
Bad habits caught in my clutches

I stand rigid as an anchor
Though it might sound strange
Time ages all surroundings
Somehow I don't change
A poem using fall changing to winter to compare ways my life should (and could) change if I tried but am too incapable
AmeriMav Apr 2019
Beauty of the moon
Lady of the star filled night
Sunlight does display
Though its true form and splendor
By its phase remains unchanged
Tanka form
Cup Noodles Feb 2019
the days have been silent
the nights grown longer
the mornings are murk
the afternoon sears
as days are as dragging as nights

out the window the colors are dull
but in this room no color appears
and in these thoughts are cages
the rooms sound way better than
where am i now

my own consciousness hinders me
my own consciousness hinders me
Mister J Feb 2019
The gentle spring breeze kisses the blades of grass
Streams humming like a whispering melody
Life blooming in all its mysteries and curiosities
It filled the meadows with a calming harmony

Standing on at a crossroads, I tread carefully,
A man past his prime, Indecision takes hold of me
The pain of youthful love burned out all my passion
Heading carefully to where I want my rest to be

On this hill here beside you I have longed to rest,
Under the warm rays of sunlight, with the sweet-smelling grass
Under the vast sheet of starlight, when night blankets the sky
Only beside you is where I want to forever stay

Memories of our youth come surging like a flood
When love burned bright and you give me life
When sorrow took the best of me, I grew hopeless
And when I needed you most, Death took you from my arms

Yearning for love, a passion that burns out the soul
I longed for one to come my youthful heart’s way
Etched in it an undeniable desire to fiercely fight
For a love that engulfs one’s heart like a wild flame

And there it was, a point where everything changes
When it came rushing in and crushed all my defenses
When hearts come in resonance with each other
Their melodies harmonizing like two spirits merging

Young hearts come together like buzzing bees
Looking for a love like there’s no tomorrow
Lit up with a sense of passion one rarely sees
Only to be consumed by inevitable grief and sorrow

Ah! Youthful love, it burns bright yet brief
When a heart is consumed, it is doomed to fall
For when it gives its all, it is surely to get less
And when it endures, it hollows out the most

Every heart has to endure a whirlwind of emotions
Fear will come to dread it and Hate will try to **** it
A gentle insanity comes rushing in, a craze-driven passion
In which one leaves reality to run and find a dwindling ideal

The troubles of a young heart are wide and vast
Its innocence unable to shield it from heartaches
And as winter approaches, it is also forced to choose
Lie still in the snow, or endure waiting for the next spring

A love that’s taken and tested to endure
A love that is fought for and is let to consume
A love like that, I still pray to hold within my grasp
And so for that love, I must endure with all my might

A soldier in this war, I fought for the comfort beside you
A lover in this struggle, I loved you much more than I can give
And when my lips touched yours, my words become silent
How you bewitched me with your beauty leaves me speechless

But Reality is a cruel master, a monstrous fate
When I felt like I could conquer the world,
When I felt that forever in your arms I stay
That is when he breaks me hardest, deepest.

Death is an all-consuming enigma
He came to take you away from me
Like a thief he came when least expected
When our flowering lives bloomed brightest

I am left to question all that had happened
Crying out to the heavens day and night
But the beauty you embodied had taken a new form
A form only Life can recreate once more.

You became the grass, you became the earth,
You became the gentle wind that comes in springtime,
The wind that kisses me with passion and gentle caress
When every time it whispers your voice is all I hear.

On this hill where your spirit resides
I long to be in your comfort again
Time has aged me, but not my love for you
Youth has passed me by, but not the feelings you left me with.

Wait for me beloved, my time has come,
Final breath draws near, Death follows behind me,
He who took you away now brings me closer to you
Stay steadfast beloved, today I’ll come to be with you.
Hey Guys!
Old piece, only had the guts to post this today

Happy Reading!

MicMag Aug 2018
Over the years
I know I've changed

But my memory swears
You remain the same
Yanamari Jul 2018
As my body lays frozen over
By the ice that continually cools me,
I gently float, soundlessly in the
Tower surrounded by icy waves.

The landscape that I always look out to
Is unchanging and lifeless,
Sounds in the distance seldom
Resounding around my heart motionless.

I kick at stagnant air,
Almost as if something was there,
The tunes playing in my head
Enough for my heart and mind to share.

As my frozen body moves,
I continue to gaze out towards the landscape.
Not because the landscape is motionless,
But now, because my heart and mind
Have melded into the tunes
Playing in my head.
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