It is not that I don't want you
I think as you undress me and
Kiss my wrists.
It's that my soul is being chipped away
And I'd rather not die
A little in these satin sheets
Again.

Step, ground breaking
Crack, heart shaking
Bleed, falling shards
Shatter, picking cards

Rolling dice, losing all
Flying down, slowly fall
Sinking deep, pull me under
Shouting silence, I will sunder

Sleep, mind cracking
Break, stress capping
Run, fast forward
But time, can't be bothered

I feel you slipping.

Slipping away.



This wouldn't be news to me - another person who goes. I don't blame you really. I'm sure I'm not the best to live with. Always a wild card of emotion. To be fair, I don't even know most times. I was doing well - I am medicated and things are relatively okay. But this sadness just washed over me like a wave - overwhelmed, drenched, depressed.

It is all senses of frustration rolled into one.

I know it's only a matter of time before you leave completely so why delay the inevitable. Just go. Leave. Don't look back and don't pretend to be sorry. I should be alone and I should go far away. Every city is tainted now - smudged with haunting memories.


I don't belong anywhere, so nowhere is where I'll be.



-t.s.

mental and physical
ifeelweak
i feel as if i don't have a place
but maybe
i take up too much space