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Many days and many nights I couldn’t reach catharsis.
Narcissistic dialogue and lust was how it started.
Lust for power,
Lust for ***,
I balanced on the wire.
Built my tower,
Learned to flex,
Never thought I’d tire.
While looking for a diamond crown I made my way to glory:
Carved a track through youthful bliss all while writing my own story.
From troubled teen
To filled with dreams,
I formed the squad into a team.
I wouldn’t scream when things got tough;
I’d always keep composure.
Intelligent with malevolence
Was how I’d learned to soldier.
No disclosure,
Never trust,
Looking to manipulate.
Made it known
It was a must
For opponents to capitulate.
Things were moving well enough
When dear old lust in whom we trust…
Reappeared back on the scene,
And of my feathers
Began to preen.

So,

Doubled down,
Went for the crown.
Changed the crew,
Time it flew.
Golden status
Seemed so near,
But red and blue
Were in the mirror
News had spread;
My walls were breached.
Of loss I had no knowledge.
Prison bread;
Amongst the freaks.
Twenty-five for living lawless.
For God had turned and dealt a blow
For all of those bad seeds I’d sewed.
And blow for blow
In social woe
I’ve lived my life in shackles.
Desire Jun 2019
16 years behind prison bars -- you came home
and not once did you show your scars...
from the fights and sleepless nights, man
it must be hard, to survive a system so inhumane, so corrupt, and flawed...

Barely 20 back in '98 -- you ever wish
you can go back and take that day away? Wondering what life would be like if, at home, you stayed? Now pain echos in your brain since the past can't be changed... (but its ok)

You're a son - you sat in a cage
while your 3 year old son was home getting ***** trained; missed out on ceremonies, birthdays, and holidays. Relationships with friends and family faded as you aged - it
gave you lonely days...

But I remember the joy that overcame you
when we went up to visit - those days were our fave too -- We couldn't hug but you expressed your never-ending love, with 22 inch biceps, telling us to read books and stay tough...
(for that we thank you...)

We longed for the day you'd be free.
But we never understood or considered  the damage done underneath. 16 years of pain, struggle, and suffering. Yet, your story doesn't end with you drowning in defeat.

Certificates and college degrees.
Clinical Social Work and counselor for psychology. Leader, influencer, mentor, husband, and father of three.
I can't be any more proud of you, your healing, and the people you impact and reach (like me).

There are unknown scars that may never heal;
Holes in your soul that are ever real,
16 years behind prison bars -- you came home
and not once did you show your scars...
Instead, you showed the world how to
stay strong and be successful,
and for that, I am ever grateful.
Love you, tio.

@desire.is.dope
20190619
0316HRS
THE STRONG HAVE SCARS

FROM INMATE TO IMPACT
SERVED, SUFFERED, SURVIVED, SCARRED
SUCCEEDING AND ACHIEVING
MAKING A DIFFERENCE
MAKING BETTER DECISIONS
MAKING THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE
Haruharu Jan 2019
Two fences, seperating me from the outside world.
Barbed wire, sharp razorblades.

I have an hour to breathe fresh air.
To get a sense of reality, to feel alive.

Eyes closed, in my mind I'm almost free.
No locks. No guards. No uniforms.

A brief moment. Silence.

And there it is, the sound that has defined me for years.

Keys.
Julischka Jan 2019
My skin is prison walls
My body is the inmate.
It’s a one-woman jail
Nobody pays my bail.

There’s no way out
In vain do I shout. / I can’t even shout.
This lack of choice
Has muted my voice.

My mind is the prison guard
She is omnipresent.
Her presence is less than pleasant.

My feet don’t really complain
Even my arms follow my brain.
Barbed wires made of thoughts
Erase this inmate’s hopes.
lovelywildflower Oct 2018
I started crying in the middle of class
Tears secretly flowing from my eyes
A river hidden from the world
Tears in a sea full of laughing people
Tears falling from my face
Not bothering to wipe them away
I'm sorry
But when something is too full, it overflows
I just couldn't hold it anymore
The funny thing is
I don't even know why I'm crying
It just kind of happened
Is anyone even noticing?
No
That's fine
I don't even want to be here
I would much rather be in your arms
Everyone just needs to leave me alone
All I know is I've been in pain for a week straight
And the pain tried to escape from my eyes
Even my pain doesn't want to be associated with me
I do not blame it
I'm just surprised that the tears fell in the middle of a classroom
And it doesn't help that I really didn't give a ****
I just let it happen
I sat as the warm raindrops streamed down my face
and dropped onto my shirt
I'm okay
This is just the pain trying to escape
Ahsaki G Aug 2015
Why Reentry? some may ask
A waste of time, a too big task?

They committed a crime, let be what will be.
Lock them up and throw away the key?

It’s not that easy as you will see
Because they eventually get out and neighbor you and me.

The deck has been shuffled and we don’t always choose our card
Some of these inmates weren’t raised, they grew up, and life was extremely hard.

Some call it dumb choices, others youthful
indiscretion
Some were forced into these positions by the
culture of oppression.

Now, there’s no place for pity, but many of the
stories are untold
With firm and consistent direction, we can see new lives unfold.

Some have never had a checking account or paid a legitimate bill
These are basic everyday functions that each of us can help instill.

It’s the ones that want the assistance to get back on their feet
Those are the ones that we prepare to identify their needs and meet.

That’s what reentry is… preparing them for another chance
To try and make better choices, and in life have a better stance.

None of us are angels; some could’ve actually caught a case
One more dumb decision could have landed OUR butts right in their place.

Can you imagine life without a job, no way to pay a bill?
Can you imagine no money for medicine if you child or spouse was ill?

Unable to get a car to take you from place to place
Unable to pride fully look another man
directly in his face.

This “second prison” hinders them as a result of their crime
This second prison should not exist once they’ve done their time.

Their families and children need them, it’s hard enough out there
These fathers should be taking care of their family’s welfare.

Children raised without a dad are at high risk to offend and fail
By helping their fathers do better we help the children stay out of jail.

Care and custody is what we’re tasked to do
The examples that we all set is what they will look too.

We can’t do it all by ourselves, resources are what we need
Volunteers and community resources help US help them to succeed.

We have to make them better then when they first came in
For some it’s a fresh start for their improved life to begin.

With hundreds of thousands of  inmate releasing year by year
Reentry increases readiness thus reducing public fear.

So inmate is their title for now, but one day they will be out again
We can increase the likelihood that they do not reoffend.

Let’s rally behind reentry efforts, we have much to give
Let’s help secure our own safety and the way that we ALL live.
June 1st, 2008:
They'll never convict me, they don't have any real proof, I cleaned up all my mess, no one knows the truth

January 29th, 2009:
**** Lawyer, says he's got so much evidence. Wait until he hears my defense. Rock solid alibi, I wasn't even there that night!

March 10th, 2009:
My lawyers a shmuck but I think he knows his stuff. Talking about blood patterns and mismatched knives. Can't this jury just admit I'm innocent and get on with their lives?

November 14th, 2009:
Well, now there's a new witness, says he saw me that night. I know it can't be true, I kept outta sight. Supposedly he heard her scream, but I know that's not right. I had her mouth duct taped tight

August 15th, 2010:
Guilty! How the hell can this be?!  This wasn't supposed to happen to me!

February 12th, 2011:
That girl was asking for trouble, it was unavoidable, anyone can see I didn't do no wrong, this **** jail cell ain't where I belong!

May 2nd, 2011:
I'm getting the chair!? This just isn't fair. I got a lot of family to think about, they believe I'm innocent, beyond a doubt

July 21st, 2011:
I don't understand why they haven't come to visit me, it's actually starting to get kinda lonely.

December 25th, 2011:
Well, it's Christmas today, here I am in my cell. I can't even remember when I actually fell. Why did I **** that poor young girl?  Robbed her of her chance to make it in this world.

March 30th, 2012:
Please God, forgive me for my sins, help me find salvation. I'll never again bow to wicked temptations. I'm getting electrified in such a short time, can you help me find a way to ease my troubled mind?

April 6th, 2012:
Please God, please, I beg of you, just get me out of here! I'll trust in you, in YOU I'll fear! Please save me from this awful fate, in you, my love will be great!

April 8th, 2012:
Well, God, I guess you haven't been listening, are you even there? I tried to change my ways, do good, but I'm pretty sure you no longer care. I'm sorry but I just don't believe anymore, I'm not even sure why I'm saying this prayer because tomorrow morning I'm getting the chair

April 9th, 2012:
I'm walking the dreaded green mile to take my last breath. I admit, I did wrong, but what will I say to Death?  Sitting here, while they strap me down, through the glass in front of me, looking all around, I see the faces of her parents, crying. Well, I guess they're getting their wish, I'm dying. I repented, I asked for forgiveness, they ask if I have any last words. There was only one thought going through my head... So I said..  "Where does my soul go when I'm dead? Of all my evil doings here on earth, what price am I really worth? Do you all really believe that I truly deserve death?" and as I take my last breath, nobody answered me

Then...

*Electricity
I'm not claiming to understand what really goes through a death row inmates mind, this is simply my interpretation of one made up 'Dead Man'
I hope you all like it.
Please comment any thoughts.
Thanks.

— The End —