I think I am in love with apathy and sighs.
I don't feel well when I look into
my own eyes.
What comes next?
After all this scripted non-sense.
The art is gone...
I'll sit on the ******* fence.
And when they come for me,
demanding things I cannot see.
I'll feel the shame I lack,
and keep looking
for the track
that I can't
What exactly is a neutral state of mind?
How would it be defined?
To be okay but not?
That's quite a tough spot.
It's as if you have nothing to feel,
Like you're not quite real.
What if I said I was neutral,
Would your reaction be quite brutal?
Should I lie and say I'm fine,
Or would that cross another line?
Should I let the panic overtake me,
I could get lost in a sea.
Anxiety and depression fight one another,
It's never just one or the other.
I guess I can walk around,
Wishing nothing more than to be found.
Does the line of comfortability change due to culture? Can you handle less because maybe you did not handle more? Are you over sensitizing because I overheard? Telling me to watch the words I learned at a young age because Susies mom taught her kids those terms?
Do you only laugh at the people you enjoy? Respect the same of your own? Can you respect me even if you don't agree, I don't want to come at you, I don't think Im right but I don't think Im wrong. Agree to disagree simple to say it .
You tell me.... "I AM" part of the queer community as if I don't love a good ***** in the face.
You tell me WHO you are and assume who I am not.
I don't want to take away your voice, I don't disagree, I just wanna say mine too and how I feel....
Relationships are circle
At least they're supposed to be
It's a give and a take
Not a take and a leave
Riding home in a hellbound car
My lover by my side
I tried to steer a different way
But it seems by rules I can't abide
So I rest my head against the glass
Scenery a pillow
Whooshing noise a bed
Led towards a house blanketed in snow
Wishing I could stop time instead
The drive is such a neutral place
It doesn't hurt to be alive
Between the nosedive and the pole vault
The steady up and down I survive
I say hellbound because home is hell
On the devout,
No moral scout,
A ghost dancing on the moors,
Could just as soon go without.
Morality is a human construct,
The majority of the universe is indifferent to it.
Can that be a feeling?
I don’t know
it’s not happy but its also not sad
It’s almost like nothing
I do see spurts of happiness
but also see spurts of sadness
So I guess I’m defining it as neutral
And being stuck in neutral
is also kind of like a car
You sometimes drift little forward
You sometimes drift a little backwards.
But most of the time
you stay in the same place
is the key
I was a lawful good
But still good
I started leaning away
Let go of the rules
I became neutral good
I’d bend or break the order
But in the end
I’m still good
Maybe I’m even pushing
Into chaotic good
And maybe I’m okay with it
I like it
My heart is
So when you say
I’m not myself
You mean I’ve dropped the structure
Released my grip on order
And that’s what I needed
Maybe I’ll bend it a little far
Maybe create a bit of chaos
But that’s okay
I’m still me
I’m still good
Of course I’m different because of the meds
What did you expect?