I don’t want to be asked if I’m ok. I don’t want to be addressed when I’m upset. Just leave me alone- And hope to not let the world see how much Of a freak I really feel I am. Sorry if it puts the Circus out of business.
We grew up together Two peas in pod You were my sidekick and I was yours My one true platonic soulmate
So how did I let this happen? How did I not know what was Happening behind the four walls of your mind. Behind the baggy sweaters that Were suddenly "fashionable" all year round.
But if I think back carefully Maybe I didn't miss it Maybe I just ignored it
Ignored how when you got back from your Summer in France the snug hoodie I gave you Was no longer very snug But rather hung like an ornament On the thin frame of your body
Or how your legs began to resemble sticks With a thigh gap most girls would die for. Maybe I should have known the first time You refused to eat your favourite ice cream (chocolate mint chip) because calories!
When you told me you were in hospital You said you were sick But not in the way I thought you were Because you didn't have chicken pox Or pneumonia or bronchitis You were sick in way that was much more twisted You had a sickness of the mind One that toyed with your thoughts And messed with your sense Until your body was wasting away.
I must admit at first I was angry Because how could you keep this from me I was your best friend and You never told me your biggest secret However then I was shocked I could not understand how you were in so much pain And yet I did not know. How had I cried for months Proclaiming pain and suffering That I believed no one could relate too And yet here you were Silently proclaiming the exact pain .