noun | the way his hand rested on the small of her back. the curve of her hip pressed against his side. the soft click of a lock, keeping her in his gilded cage. it was nice at first, the way he spoke about her as a belonging. perhaps it was her own loneliness that made her crave his. the allure of fixing him was too enticing to deny, so she dove headfirst, recklessly swimming against his nature. but the explosion of a thrown wine glass on the wall behind her when she needed to leave, needed to get out, made her hate the naive girl she once was. and still she loved the way he pressed gentle kisses on her tear stained cheeks, apologizing and begging her to stay. and, despite herself, she knows she will.

I smell your dark intent in the air,
Whether it's in my mind, I don't even care,
Before you speak, Let me make you aware,
She is my girl and you don't even dare.

I can rip you apart, like a wild bear.
I'm with her, you don't need to care.
You might be good, but, it's very rare.
She is my girl and you don't even stare.

You looked so majestic sitting there
Delicate, divine, and bare
Vulnerable but I didn't care
How could I?

You, with your brown eyes and your short brown hair
Resting on a broken chair
Defeated but I didn't care
I had to lie

Over and over and over again to get you
Over and over and over again, I let you down
Over and over and you were over it, you'd even given up your crown

You should have known better when I said that I'd be there for you
You should have known better than to believe when I said that I would help you through
I'll tell you that I'm sorry but by now you should know the truth
Helping someone other than myself is something [that] I just can't do

I saw my chance and I acted fast
Things this pure (you see) they never last
At least they never have in my past
I bled you dry

I didn't want you to leave the shadow I cast
With your love so deep and your heart so vast
You'd be happier in a light you could bask
That's why

Over and over and over again I hurt you
Over and over and over again to keep you down
Over and over and you were over it, you couldn't even reach your crown

You should have known better when I said that I'd be there for you
You should have known better than to believe when I said that I'd be there for you
I'll tell you that I'm sorry but by now you should know the truth
Helping someone other than myself is something [that] I just can't do

I can't be good to you

This year taught me people will leave if you love and care about them so much.

"I never knew it was toxic, until I tasted freedom with love. I never knew what it was like to be loved, without being encaged. But now I can take my decisions, I can roam free. I can be loved and be my own person. I chose what I do today and forever.
It was love before, it is love now. But now he loves me into independence. I discover more about myself. I find myself healing.The stifling breath, and aching sobs in my chest are slowly fading.  It was love before but the bad outweighed the good. Too weak and in love to leave. But I am not a possession, I am my own person."

- excerpt from a monologue of breaking free from a possessive relationship