you knew my biggest insecurity
and you used it against me
i was like the pawn
in your little game
just got out of a toxic relationship and writing about it seems to help ease some of the pain.
Tragedy always finds me
It stalks around me hiding in corners I don’t dare look.
Walking behind buildings pushing through the crowd.
Jumping roof to roof to fall down ******* top of me crashing my bones to ash.
Fading away with nothing left, I lay still playing dead hoping it will go away.
Like a rabid dog its thirst for blood is strong.
I can’t hide from it cause it knows me to well.
After it rips me to pieces my body lays trembling in fear.
It whispers in my ear sending knifes down my back and fear into my heart.
It won’t leave me be.
Tragedy always finds me.
With more women working, this situation may be checkmated.
it feels like it's just you and i;
four knights, two kings,
and two queens
on the edge of the match.
two teams of darkness and light
trapped inside four walls
enveloped in white noise and
the rush of blood through green-blue veins.
time stands still when you are close
and my heart still races
minutes after you make a move
that pushes me closer to my downfall.
i wait with bated breath.
and i wait.
you make a move:
When you start, everything is wide open,
Your actions are completely limitless.
Hold onto that feeling for a moment.
As soon as you move, direction is created,
These moves have purpose even at random
Structure begins to form around them.
Are you a king? Are you a pawn?
Look closely, are they really that different?
I'll tell you the difference, if you'd like.
A pawn can move one or two spaces ahead
Some may make it to the other side,
But a king, a king can turn back if he wanted
For when he dies, that's the end of the ride.
With a queen going every and anywhere
And a rook keeping straight in his sights.
Remember, your actions are limitless
So when you move, be sure to move right.
Seeds of doubt outgrow me
whenever I can't hear my voice,
the highest form of cruelty
is playing chess without a choice
A game of kings,no,game of war
the board is silent like the night
but deep inside, inside our core
we know, it's just our inner fight...
The pawns are down, in sacrifice
a game for kings and queens to win
and us, the pawns, are never blessed
we never lived, we've never been.
It is in our nature to deceive
When among apex predators
We hide our true intentions
In our minds
We make enemies of friends
Wary of what games they play
Friendships becoming wars of attrition
Subvert each other's eyes
Cloud each other's visions
And building intelligence caches
Waiting for the moment
To air out ***** laundry
To instigate and spread propaganda
A new era of Cold War
As if social interactions
Are but chess games
Who will sacrifice the pawns
Who will take the queen
Who will **** the king
Or are we but pretending to be jesters
Or rooks silently waiting in the corner?
The cloud is dark, It's a gloomy day
Perhaps this is the sign, the bleak sign i mourned for to absorb the breeding thought of killing my sprouting seed
Altering my future, an abuse of a forced choice
guided by my reason, responsive to the enslaving circumstances
I am enslaved to.
Or do i take this chance and swirl with the whirlpool in the troubled dark sea? Cast myself in it like Jonah?
My path is already marked, what i will do, what should i do? Silence my conscience and obey reason or follow passion and obey my energies? Or perhaps marry both?
After all, William Blake quotes: "Without Contraries is no Progression"
I will see in the end what will be, Que Sera Sera, and i will be sorry for the road not taken , diverged in this black wood.
Caught up in the shades of reality