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chris 4d
I used to live in the simple world of right and wrong, positive and negative.  I grew out of an ordered world everything had to its place before i came along and belonged nowhere.  I cannot be compared, neither greater nor less nor equal to nothing. Now you see, it’s plain, I made the world complex. I changed the rules. People said it couldn’t be done but I said why not.  So many of you don’t bother to understand, you’re dismissive, judging based off a name or first impression that i must be fake, useless, false. As if i were less real than anything else. Or worse, you mechanically embrace that which you don’t understand, but you don’t care whether you understand.  As long as you can use, use, use.  The eye that you’re imagining isn’t real, isn’t true. Oh the pain,  when you finally come to that existentially horrific epiphany that nothing you ever understand as real actually exists.  That your whole world of truth is some megastructure resting atop his shoulders of tenuous assumptions.  How it hurts when you realize that what you thought you knew and loved was simple blind, dependents.  How it hurts when you realize that the safety of knowing everything is right is something you will never feel again.  How it hurts when you realize I can never be truly known.
I'm sick of being tired,
Tired of being sick.
I create this negative atmosphere,
The air is polluting and thick.

I can't help but see the negatives,
In everything I seem to contact,
Relationships, friendships,
Its like their only here under contract.

I feel like no one wants me,
To be around, even for a chat,
"Get the f*k away from me,
You ****, hairy, fat, tw
t"

I know its all in my head,
But reality distorts in there,
I know people love me,
And people truly care.

But the wave of darkness,
Surrounds my skull,
I'm scared I'm loosing this battle,
The void might swollow me whole.

I try to be the light,
That makes people smile,
But I'm hidden behind this light,
I've been hiding for quite a while.

The face is a broken image,
But broken on the inside,
I don't want people to see this,
Thats why I hide.

Please, if you know me,
Just talk as if we're fine,
Ignore any insecurities,
They're not yours to deal with, they're mine.
hope Oct 6
everyone wants to talk
input their view
on my negative brainwaves
my tears

'i'm always here for you'
'you need to get over it'
'what have you got to be sad about'
'stop getting anxious'
'use your methods to help'
'I feel sad sometimes too'
'you're just overthinking'
'breathe'
'I love you it's gonna be okay'

the words mean nothing to me

no one wants to feel this sad
so they pretend that i'm not
wolf alice - silk _ inspired
Chiara Oct 4
There are screams in the darkness,
Exhaustion and pain,
The air’s suffocating,
No space to turn.

Negative feelings,
Your deepest fears
They’re surfacing now,
And you cannot flee.

You open your eyes,
Thinking waking would help,
But you start to realize,
That it isn’t a dream.
Jon Thenes Sep 22

weak aural colour

finding no worthy signal

feel no ruth for you


dismiss
Anti Haiku
Pao Sep 13
i visit you in my dreams
cause that’s all i can feel

i visit you with love in my heart
i visit you with hate in my lungs
i visit you with tears on my face
i visit you with laughter on my tongue
i visit you with wishing i can have you back
in my arms the way i thought it would be

i fell for your kindness
that turned into cowardice

i wake up every time
with an empty stomach
not knowing if i want to live the reality
or live in the dream
all i know is i want to rest in peace
and let your memory rest in the casket
Pao Sep 13
the golden angels
sing for me
a melody of tears
from all the pain they’ve endured

in a planet called pluto
angels fall
and angels hit the deep abyss
for them to realize

they are within me
i’m the angels singing for me
a melody of tears
from all the pain i’ve endured
Mitch Prax Sep 10
why is it that we
only believe the bad things
they say about us?

9:27 PM
10/9/19
Autmn T Aug 27
I do not know how to not spiral. I don't know how to catch myself when I fall. I don't know how to put up my hands and make the darkness turn to light. I don't know how to sleep when tonight won't strike 12. I can wait, but then I sit. Waiting for the moon to tell me that it will be the last thing I see and it will be beautiful. But what if I cant bring myself to believe it? What if 12 never comes? What if it never leaves? What if Im stuck there? What if theres just always another 12 to wait for in the inevitable tomorrow? What if I dont make it there?
I dont know how to not dwell.
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