Will Power

It keeps me knocking at the door,
It hits me heavy like a boar.
It leaves empty like before but I keep my head beside the lord.

We have a plan as we know we can but has there been another man?
I hold my breath and exhale the air...
Could she be that little mare?
All these males and females dare to test the one who says they care.

Still it keeps me knocking right through the roof...
What is the power and what is the truth?

Contained

Myself a mime,
Pushing the boundaries of my world.

An extrovert trapped,
In an introverted nightmare.

Escape me O Lord,
From this bitter place.

Free me my white washed walls.

Walk among rows of the sick and the dying

Find each of us in a corner

Silenced screaming sanity unhinged

Scrambling symptomatic soliloquy,

End this madness. Or end me.

Once I climb into my bed
My monsters all awaken
But when I sleep next to your side
I swear those beasts are shaken

And when I hold your body close
Imagine a future much better
To find the right way to get there
We must navigate together

I felt heaven for a breif moment
It's contained inside your kiss
I must admit you are the only thing
That touches my world with bliss

He was a mysterious young fellow.
Quiet and Serene.
But in bed, he is a god
that can't be contained.

i have spent far too much of my life
building towering walls with no arches, without windows
without any view to the outside world.
i would much rather have liked it if i would have built fences instead.
fences are moveable.
you can push the rows and rows of wire or wood a foot to the north
or a foot to the south
or make a curve in the line.
fences don't block everything out,
they don't keep everything in,
and they don't hurt as much when they fall.
walls, on the other hand,
crash
and burn
and take months and months to rebuild.
fences?
fences can be put up in a day or two
depending on how difficult you want it to be to get in/get out;
fences can be taken down in a day or two
depending on how easy you want it to be to get out/get in.

I may be insane
Or maybe im just in pain
But I will not strain
To be contained

Your actions will not stain
My choice to stay
In a world in vain
Day by day.

Give me the sorrow, pain, fear, and anger.
Give me the things that people hate and I’ll smooth out the ruffles.
They’ll make me stronger.
They’ll help me love you.

I see a paragon of virtue in the flaws.
Give me the weakness, and I’ll find its use.
I want the castoffs.
I know their value.

I sit,
Cross-legged by the fire.
The box meant to contain imperfections.
I linger over each, loathing, pity, regret, fear,
My fingers curl over each piece.
My mind caresses the memory.

I change them,
I rewrite the weak,
Strengthen the lesser.
Broken pieces can solidify beautifully.

I swallow the pain, and anger,
Completely neutral outside.
I give a cleanliness to the soul,
At the risk of my own.

If you were to ask…
I’d give honesty.
The fractured pieces demand to be heard.
They scream from their container.
They poke and **** but I swallow it down.
If you ask…

It’s beautifully colored glass,
Broken, healed and broken again.
I can break, but I’ll be whole again.
Colors, defects, knowing and using them
that’s what makes me,
Flawless.